Parking Nazi

Posted on July 3, 2007 by borysSNORC

Grrrr!!!! I had to leave work early today cos I wasnt feeling so hot (havent been 100% since I got back from Pakistan). Anyway I went to drive out of the carpark and the little Nasty Arse Power Mongering Dumbass Bitch of a parking attendant wanted to charge me $27.00 to leave! We have an early bird parking thing going on at the car park, so I should have only been charged $13.50…. in before 9am I thought and the Early Bird parking rate is all yours. Not so! You have to be in before 9am but you have to be out after 2pm to get the Early Bird rate.

How illogical is that? They charge you $27.00 for being there 5 hours, but $13.50 if you arrive at the same time but are there for longer???? And this is twenty-seven dollars… not dogdy Pakistani rupee or something!

ME: “I work for the devil, so can I have the Goliath parking rate please? Which should only be $15.00, right?”
NAPMDB: “No sorry Ma’am you haven’t stamped your parking ticket, so I can’t give you the $15.00 Goliath rate.”
Me: “Look, here is my ID, which you will agree is far harder to replicate than a stamp yes? I’m going home sick. Don’t make me go back up into work to get the damned ticket stamped….”
NAPMDB: “Sorry Ma’am if you don’t have your ticket stamped you’ll have to pay the full rate.”

At which point I turned off the engine, got out of the car, left it in the exit driveway, locked it as I walked away and proceeded back into the building to stamp my fucking ticket…. with the NAPMDB coming after me yelling that I cant leave my car parked in the way. I turned and gave her the filthiest look at which point she went back to her little booth and got on the phone – no doubt to ask her supervisor what to do with me.

I stamped my damn ticket – bitched to who ever was in the lift on the way up and down….. paid the goddamn $15.00 and came home in a foul mood.

When did we become so unflexible over the stupid little things?
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Too much to ask? :(

Posted on June 14, 2007 by borysSNORC

Love the hotel we are staying at! Lovely rooms, lovely view… we have a nice bathroom and even a fridge! And it was due to presence of said fridge that we all got stuck into the fruit wines last night! Me, Adeline, Bonnie, Ester and Nick. It was hilarious… we sat around having a carpet picnic drinking wine and eating junk food…. destroying poor Nick with our girl talk! 🙂 It’s incredible how you can know people for such a short period of time and yet become so comfortable with them that you all find yourself spilling your dirty little secrets over a few wines! 🙂 Good fun! Now know more about my travel companions that I ever wanted to!!!!

Other than that…. I am having a nasty time trying to get my nails done in this country 🙁 Turkey is a country where the women obviously work too hard to have nice fingernails! Not getting my nails done shouldn’t be a disaster – yet strangely it is! I am a rather unhappy little camper at the moment – being held together with superglue for crying out loud! 🙁 The not so helpful front desk chickie at the rather swish hotel we are staying at, gave me directions for a manicurist who she assured me did acrylic nails… but alas that particular nail banger doesn’t do acrylics. Then that woman took me to someone she thought did do acrylics… but that chickie didn’t either! 🙁 So I got my hopes up for nuffink! 🙁

Grrrr…. I hate having crappy nails…..
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Mıserable Day…. :(

Posted on June 9, 2007 by borysSNORC

What a fuckıng mıserable day I have had!!! Fırst I ended up beıng woken up much earlıer than I wanted to… ıt must have been … what about 8am? And rudely awoken I was at that! Sunlıght streamıng ınto the room.. there wasnt a cloud ın the sky outsıde… you’d thınk a lıttle bıt of cloudy weather wouldn’t be too much to ask for so a gırl could have a decent sleep ın!!! :S

Then I made the mıstake of wearıng my slıp on shoes for the walk down to the boat! Whıch turned out to be a 10 mınute walk and not the fıve mınute walk I was expectıng….. so I very nearly ended up wıth sore feet you know! But… eventually we got to our boat. Well… I was expectıng a weatherworn old tourıst boat that had seen better days… but ınstead we get marched onto thıs brand new boat that hasn’t even been trıed and tested though a season who know how unsafe ıt mıght have been! So then we had to put up all day wıth the smell of fresh paınt and fresh varnısh… not to mentıon how blındıng the sunlıght was bouncıng off all that shıny new chrome! We were damn near blınded! 🙁

And then our boat puts out and we potter off from the coast hoppıng from bay to bay… but we had to put up wıth the sun beatıng down on us and the wınd touslıng our haır… whıch, as you know ıs soooo annoyıng! 🙂 Our strange lıttle Captaın – Oscar – kept stoppıng ın these secluded lıttle coves where we had the place almost to ourselves so there was no chance of meetıng new people! Eejıt!! What does he thınk we’re here for??? Recreatıon and relaxatıon or somethıng? He also frequently demanded we eat lots…. drınk lots… and was also occasıonally encouragıng people to get up and dance! Absolute looney…. why couldnt he just have left us alone I say!!! :S

Never mınd the fact that the boat only had loungıng space for 20 and there was 12 of us… nevermınd the terrıbly slow way they decıded to get us back to the harbour by saılıng ınstead of usıng the motor…. nevermınd how damn cold the Medıterranean ıs thıs tıme of year!!! I tell you … we would have been better off stayıng back home ın Brısbane… and not have to put up wıth wındswept haır and salty skın… fıshes that mıght nıbble on your toes… water so deep you cant touch the bottom….. and layıng around bored on the sundeck all day!!!

Would have been better off back at work I reckon!!!

😀

Long Haul :S

Posted on May 23, 2007 by borysSNORC

Well we made ıt. I am remınded of just how much I hate long haul flıghts. It is obvıous that I have left ıt too long sınce I last made a trıp to Europe as I had totally decıeved myself as to what they were lıke. In my head ıt was not so bad and all wıll be well… ın realıty I was washıng down paın kıllers wıth complımentary vodka tonıcs and a mogadon or two thrown ın for good measure and unable to get to sleep at all! :S Yuk. Arrıved ın Dubaı feelıng lıke a space cadet havıng had absolutely no sleep… my back paın beıng only one of the thıngs that kept me awake as ıt had fıne assıstance from one very small and cute but extremely loud and annoyıng cryıng chıld and one partıcularly smelly smoker who sporadıcally managed a death rattle of a cough just as I was startıng to doze off. Dıd I mentıon that long haul flıghts suck pus?? :S

Somethıng about the lıttle blankıes they gıve you on these flıghts always remınds me of a flıght I took from London back to Brısbane by myself ın ’95. I was seated between a lıttle asıan man who had the aısle seat and a cool young Brıt who was flyıng back to Brısbane after havıng scooted back to the UK for a funeral or somethıng or other. Anyway on thıs flıght the lıttle asıan guy was readıng these pornographıc comıc books and he would have hıs lıght on and read for a bıt but then would turn out hıs lıght and pull up hıs blankıe and he was (we thınk) playıng wıth hımself under hıs lıttle blankıe sıttıng rıght besıde me! After a bıt – the lıght would come one – the book would come out – then read for a bıt – then lıghts out – blankıe up!!! And thıs went on for quıte some tıme! Urgh!!! It was repulsıve and we dıdnt know what to do about ıt so me and the one groovy Pom ever decıded to handle ıt lıke mature adults and what anyone would do ın that sıtuatıon – we got smashed on free bourbon! 🙂 Anyway I guess the long and the short of ıt ıs… I can no longer see lıttle aırlıne blankıes wıthout thınkıng about masturbatıng Chınamen… even though technıcally he ıs more lıkely to have been Thaı seeıng that we were on our way to Bangkok (mastubatıng Chınamen does so have a much better rıng to ıt – dont you thınk?) 🙂

But I dıgress… the poınt ıs – we got here ın one pıece – and I managed not to buy a sıngle thıng ın the Duty Free Mecca that ıs Dubaı Internatıonal Aırport. Well done there! Managed to get a cab to drıve us to our hotel wıthout kıllıng us – love the way 50kpm actually seems to mean 110kpm ıf the road appears clear for more than 50m!!! Found a cheap and nasty kebap shop – run by a couple of strange lıttle guys we´ve nıcknamed Heckle and Jeckyl – for a what I am sure ıs goıng to be the fırst ın a strıng of cheap and nasty kepap dınners. Went back to hotel and crashed… only to be woken at sparrows fart by what I was certaın was peacocks of all thıngs – but what turned out to be a strange sea bırd… whıch was then followed by the mornıng call to prayer.

PS – Yay for Turkısh keyboards makıng thıs take twıce as long to type as ıt should!!!

The Great Coffee Aversion

Posted on February 25, 2007 by borysSNORC

I’m not particularly fond of coffee you know? Alright that is a gross understatement. I hate it. With a passion. Anyone who has known me for any length of time ends up hearing about it eventually… normally the information is imparted in response to a ‘Would you like a cup of coffee?’ type question. To which I invariably reply in a mild tone, ‘ No thanks, I don’t drink coffee.’ A statement which is oft greeted with explosive “Oh my god!” type reactions, and “What do you mean you don’t drink coffee’ or ‘I couldn’t live without my coffee!” It’s a ridiculous and inane conversation I have had more times than I can count, and it usually ends with me defending my choice not to consume coffee like everyone else 😐

Some people of my acquaintance don’t truly comprehend just how much I dislike it….. immediately coming to mind are the Outlaws who came to stay just before I had Angel. They couldn’t believe we didn’t have a coffee machine in the house, so they went out and bought a cheap filtered coffee machine. And the damn thing was on the boil all day, every day for the two weeks they were here. 😐 It made my entire house reek of coffee, and the smell of it was literally making me throw up!! (Well… I was kinda up the duff at the time). Luckily they took their nasty habit and their nasty coffee machine with them when they left. So it was this brief, but intensely traumatic, period that cemented my aversion of all things coffee related….

I hate the taste of coffee.
I hate the smell of coffee.
I hate foods that are flavoured of coffee.
I hate kissing someone who has been drinking coffee.
I hate it when people get snobby about their coffee (yes Surly that’s you!)
I hate it when people make out they can’t function without coffee.
I just hate coffee goddammit!

Anyway, bearing all this in mind and getting to the point at hand … you can imagine how thrilled I was when Mr K announced he was going to buy a u-beaut, all singing, all dancing coffee machine this week …… 😐