I love to fly… well I did.

Whenever I’m at the airport doing the airport thang – printing a boarding pass, checking my luggage, going through security, stumbling around the news agent looking for something to read, squinting at the monitors to figure out the correct gate, checking my flight isn’t (predictably and regrettably) delayed and coveting the Dyson Airblades in the bathrooms – inevitably while I’m going through all these motions, somewhere in the deep dark deep recesses of my addlepated brain is the most fervent and heartfelt of pleas “Oh dear God/Allah/Buddha/Krishna/Ron Hubbard/Russell Edginton/whoever the fuck else might be in charge at the moment (?!?) please don’t let anyone like John Cusack or Billy Bob Thornton be working in the air traffic control room tonight!

billy bob thornton air traffic controller

Ever since I first saw that movie I’ve been ever so convinced, and ever so slightly freaked out, that it takes a very (window licking) special sort of person who wants to work as an air traffic controller. Every shift full of life and death decisions. The souls and safety of hundreds of people in your hands every single day that you rock up to work – who could live with that sort of pressure? And if you did wouldn’t it turn you into being like the veritable lunatics depicted in Pushing Tin eventually anyway?!?

air traffic controller best actor

So please, Qantas. Hear my plea and have your staff regularly undergo stress management training and psych evaluations if for no other reason than to give poor little slight OCD nutters like me small peace of mind.
PS:  If John Cusack was around here somewhere – I totally want to meet him!!!


The Rachel Coffee Mugs?

I was wandering though the RHD office the other day and noticing the tiny things people do to personalize their desks/cubicles.  First, there seems to be an alarming propensity towards ‘flavour of the month’ posters… zombie apocalypse stuff, Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, lots of current sci-fi and fantasy, Big Bang Theory… smattered in amongst images of ancient monuments, medieval art, Latin quotes and highbrow literature crap.  But it’s the coffee mugs that are really interesting… they’re like the modern ceramic equivalent of The Rachel Papers 😛

Some humble coffee mugs seem to be deployed in an attempt to convey a sense of gravitas.  That gravitas being conveniently appropriated from any number of prestigious international museums, great learning institutions and prominent art galleries.  Lurking on the desks of serious RHD students, these seemingly innocuously mugs valiantly attempt to bestow their owners with a badge of worldly sophistication, studiousness and academic intensity!  😉

art museum galleries library prestigious

Some mugs appear to silently screaming, “Ahem.  Have you noticed how well read I am?  Oh, and should you have any doubts as to the veracity of my claim… please refer to my handy coffee mug which, as you see, is extolling some pithy or erudite literary quote.”  Someone once suggested that these subtle declarations are an obvious attempt to cover up the fact that many of us… even those attempting to scale the lofty heights of academic achievement… feel like frauds and we are desperately trying not to be found out!  Let’s hope the speculations of that hapless feck (who shall remain nameless) are unfounded.  😛

literature books well read pride prejudice expectations banned

Some of the cohort sport not so much coffee mugs in their illustrious cubicles, as this moniker would somehow demean their very existence, but rather fine bone china tea cups… that just happen to be in fashionable mug-like form.  Perhaps these are some sort of subconscious attempt to demonstrate that one appreciates the finer things in life!  And while one may have to slum it with the youngins in the communal bowels of the Steam Pipe Trunk Distribution Venue, that doesn’t necessarily mean that one need actually become one of them!  😉

fine china royal albert doulton villeroy boch

Some other noticeable hot beverage receptacles (and these are some of my favourites!) are all about the art, darling!  It very much reminds me once of a first year BVA student pointing out from her fortunate middle class upbringing in a first world country, with her privileged position at a good university and her significantly parentally subsidised lifestyle, that “Poverty is all part of the artist’s struggle.” (yes, still makes me scoff as much now as it did then!)  Maybe these artsy fartsy mugs are intended to attempt to show the collected academic cohort that surrounds their owners, that they are well rounded culture vulture types, and obviously engaged with the world through more than their ultra-specific, and infinitesimally narrow and pointed fields of research.  For indeed, if one engages and identifies with the arts in some way, shape or form, one must of course both understand and appreciate the import of ‘art’ in the global history of human endeavour!  😀

art history cave painting roman mosaic sistine chapel gogh starry night

Some mugs, and admittedly these more prevalent than the previous categories according to my brief survey, are covered in signs and symbols of popular or geek culture… little clues for the initiated in order that one may gain a sense of belonging, being ‘in’ on the jokes, identifying with a clique, express fandom… basically being one of the cool kids.  A small but personally important rebellion against the uptight academic bureaucracy within which they suddenly find themselves an insignificantly teeny little cog!  :S

popular culture big bang theory dr who zombie android stay puft

Then there are the coffee mugs that appear to be carrying the inordinate burden of attempting to convey not only art, art history, contemporary and popular culture, humour, literary knowledge, history and god knows what else by attempting to mash together two or more of these elements into a cohesive design that somehow is intended to encapsulate that entire ‘Interests’ section of someone resume that no one ever reads!

science darwin shakespeare van gogh ipad zombie warhol

But however humble (or pretentious), all these mugs have one thing in common… they are an expression of individuality in a faceless, and predominantly nameless office environment full of transient students all working on very diverse areas of study often with little or nothing in common, who share few common work hours and a horribly cramped and depressingly depersonalised space.   So, the question presents itself…  how best to throw the cat amongst the pigeons and introduce myself to my fellow RHD students?   😀

jesus christian queen elizabeth twilight guns beretta

Oh, but of course, I mustn’t actually rule out that maybe they’re just drinking vessels for tea and coffee and have actually been picked up as freebies in a conference bag or represents the last one of a broken set or has simply been bought from home and is effectively ‘that mug I don’t care if someone nicks from the uni kitchen’.   😛

Dita von Disappointment…

I’ve always been a bit of a Dita von Teese fan.  Bringing back the glamour in a time where the fricken Olsen Twins were getting around looking like homeless crack whores… I’ve always thought ‘Good on her’ for looking beautiful and feminine and well kept.  She’s made a huge brand for herself, revitalised burlesque as an art form, almost single handedly reinvigorated the corset market in main stream fashion and has set a retro trend that has lasted many years now.

naked corset mouth chair twitter dumb

But then I started following her Twitter a little while ago and have noticed she appears to be a woman of little talent and no opinions… either that or she should fire her PR assistant because for someone with such celebrity at her hands (nearly 1.2 million followers) she has absolutely NOTHING to say.  What a disappointment.  Never retweets a good cause, never comments on political or socially important goings on, never expresses an opinion about anything unless it’s her latest show or a new brand of lipstick.   Shame really, because now she is starting to look like she’s famous for having a fabulous wardrobe, for getting her kit off and not much else.  :S

nude burlesque strip tease wallpaper large

I’m love struck and I need help!

I found this girl ive been hangin out with for a month or two now im a 17 y.o M we hang out all the time and we flirt and joke around i love to make her laugh n see her smile and i miss her as soon as she leaves Sorry to get off topic but today we went floating down a river (tubing) and i kissed her after she put her head on my shoulder im kinda shy but she stared at me for a second n i went for it. she didnt object in fact she kissed me back but the problem is im visiting my family and im only gana be here for another week im absolutely love sick over this girl and i think its the fact i cant stay is what makes mr hesitate from doing anything else im in love n damned if i do n damned if i dont what should i do from here?

Get all her contact details before you leave… Facebook, MSN ID, cell number, whatever. Tell her that you think she’s amazing and you want to stay in touch. That simple. No need to declare an undying love and devotion or nail her down to a ‘long distance relationship’ or anything. And then just wait and see if anything develops from there. Good luck.

Possible the best answer i would excpect outa reddit thanks for givin a honest answer

You’re welcome. I hope things work out for you.

I could love whiskey and haggis.

I’m not fond of scotch or whiskey or whatever you want to call it.  Taste of it varies between mud and metho to my thinking.  In fact I remember a Whiskey Wankers evening at Festival one year back at Yass  – basically a group of self professed whiskey aficionados all bring a bottle of something unusual and sit around discussing the various offerings.  I remember being given something to taste and responding with “Euck, it smells like kerosene!” at which point all the Whisky Wankers did their best sighs of exasperations and comments to the tune of “Oh pfft, what would a port drinker know?”.  Fast forward half an hour and a new WW joins the merry band and makes the exact same kerosene observation that I had previously expressed… and was greeted by a round of “Oh, yes, quite right, kerosene, very noticeable.”  Wankers!  😛

Nuts and guts of the story – didn’t like whiskey then, don’t like whiskey now.  BUT!!  If anything could encourage me to give whiskey another go it’s this…

macallan whiskey trainspotting lucius vorenis toxoplasmosis

macallan whiskey trainspotting lucius vorenis toxoplasmosis

macallan whiskey trainspotting lucius vorenis toxoplasmosis

macallan whiskey trainspotting lucius vorenis toxoplasmosis

Phew… such a transformation from the scrawny Tommy from Trainspotting with toxoplasmosis, to the commanding Lucius Vorenus in Rome and the decisive and unconventional Dr Owen Hunt in Grey’s Anatomy!  And now such debonair and damn sexy pictures from Annie Liebovitz herself to promote Macallan Whiskey.

Sigh… I think I was so distracted by these dead sexy pictures of Kevin McKidd that this non-whiskey drinker may have just accidentally registered an expression of interest in a $2700 bottle of whiskey!  :S