Opera in the ‘Burbs.

This afternoon, Daleyacunt and Fuckin’ Fuckhead were gobbing off at each other outside my kitchen window again… sigh… yes again!  Though I am no longer surprised by it, I’m still exceedingly agitated by it.   I am so sick of hearing them carrying on like squabbling fishmongers nearly every day. I shouldn’t have to listen this absolute garbage, and feel quite strongly that the Small Child shouldn’t be unnecessarily exposed to language that would make a roughty toughty tank soldier blush either.

“I fuckin’ hate that cunt, what’s he comin’ here for, ya Fuckin’ Fuckhead?!” and many other equally fatuous observations appear to be a normal everyday conversational gambit for these people.  On and on and on it goes, until you can’t even follow what they’re talking about – because ‘fuck’ appears comprise about 80% of Daleyacunt’s entire vocabulary so he presses it frequently into service.  It seems to be the only verb, noun, adverb, adjective, pronoun and term of endearment he possesses and as such he trolls it out with alarming regularity. How much of this banal bullshit can we be expected to put up with?  Seriously?  🙁   It’s so depressing to have this daily reminder of how the hairy unwashed choose to conduct themselves.

Well, after weeks of this, I’ve had enough.  And have no desire to hear it anymore!  I don’t want to know these people and I don’t want to know what is going on in their lives.  I don’t want to know about their petty disagreements and I don’t want to hear them planning their future domestic arrangements.  I don’t want to know about their complete inability to communicate with a modicum of decorum and I really don’t want to know anything about them at all.  And yet, because they do not appear to be in possession of ‘inside voices’ here we are!

So, while primarily motivated to preserve what little sanity remains to the long suffering inhabitants of Azerbaijan, and in a slightly retaliatory mood, I put on the stereo and cranked up some of my favourite opera classics.  Ostensibly I planned to merely drown out their gutter sniping, but it turns out, Dalyacunt and Fuckin’ Fuckhead mustn’t be overly fond of opera, as it had the added benefit of driving them indoors; and with then went their profanity peppered pugilistic palaver.   Bonus!

The moral of today’s story?  Music not only does music tame the savage beast… but it also bests the brain dead bogan!


Winnie the Pooh? Winnie Ille Pu? Sigh…

“Oh Bugger,” said Pooh, “I’ve gone and done it again!”  :S

I was sitting at the dining room table this evening, staring at nothing in particular and my glance landed on the shelf on my book case which is full of jewellery books…  and found myself wondering, ‘Do I already have a copy of that Secular Goldsmith’s Work in Medieval Europe that I was eyeing off on the Book Depository?’ and then ‘No, I don’t see a hideously garish orange hardcover jewellery book on the shelf, so I guess I never actually got a copy.’  which was swiftly followed by “OH SHIT!  I think I put an order in for books, like yesterday or even this morning, but I’m not sure!’

So it was with a deep sense of apprehension that I checked my email and noticed that I did indeed place an order with the Book Depository this morning and how fucking awesome was it that I have no recollection of having done so!!  :S   Yay, for drug fucked morning hang over shopping.  It’s like a Lucky Dip, you never know what you’re going to get.  I must have been on total crack this morning though, because not only did I buy the Secular Goldsmith’s Work in Medieval Europe that promises to be a very interesting read, but I also ordered a copy of Winnie Ille Pu – A.A. Milne’s classic Winnie the Pooh story translated into Latin by Alexander Lenard, which portends to be a less interesting and potentially disturbing read!

Winnie ille Pu

What was I thinking?  :S   I must not forget the rules… I must not forget the rules:

Rule No. 1 –  Do not speak to govt officials, uni professors, family relatives, tradesmen or the general public before one’s nightly drug cocktail has worn off.
Rule No. 2 – Do not engage in internet shopping whilst under the influence!
Rule No. 3 – Refer to Rule No. 1 and Rule No, 2.  🙁

Though on closer inspection, perhaps Winnie Ille Pu will have a certain absurd charm about it…

Winnie Ille Pu Page


I’m sorry ma’am, that medication is discontinued

I put a prescription repeat into the pharmacy and was informed that a pain killer I have been taking since 1994 has been discontinued.  Discontinued?!? A term usually trolled out in relation to your favourite nail polish or eye shadow or something! But medicines discontinued? This doesn’t bode well. So I asked Cindy Lou, my friendly neighbourhood pharmacy assistant “What’s the deal with the Digesic?” and in due course a message came back to me “It’s been discontinued and they’re not replacing it, sorry.  Too many side effects and it’s stuffing people’s hearts up.”  Oh, shit.

Digesic side effecrs

So I come home and (as you do) hit the internets.  Turns out Digesic and many other medications containing dextropropoxyphene have been discontinued… back in fucking 2004 by the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency in the UK and back in 2007 by the Federal Drug Administration in the US! So why the hell is Australia’s Therapeutic Goods Administration only just discontinuing the distribution of this medication now – in 2012!?!

Apparently they are still available in the US for named patients only (people addicted to the stupid things) but they carry a ‘black label’ warning that reads

“Should be used with extreme caution, if at all, in patients who have a history of substance/drug/alcohol abuse, depression with suicidal tendency, or who already take medications that cause drowsiness Eg: antidepressants (tick), muscle relaxants (tick), pain relievers (tick), sedatives (tick), tranquilizers (Hmmm… maybe I need me some ketamine just for weekends, you know!) Fatalities have occurred in such patients when misused.”

So yeah, apparently they are contraindicated with nearly everything else that I have been taking for years. now They can cause/worsen depression, have been implicated in usually high suicide rates, have a high risk of fatal overdose due to the drugs innate toxicity and and can cause cardiac membrane damage and subsequently arrhythmias, particularly with extended or long term use! Oh joy of joys. Nothing like discovering the pain killers I’ve been throwing back like Tic Tacs for the last 18 years or so may have potentially caused heart damage – yay!

Oh and bonus fun fact – The high toxicity and relatively easy availability made it a drug of choice for right to die societies. It’s listed in Dr. Philip Nitschke’s The Peaceful Pill Handbook and Dr. Pieter Admiraal’s Guide to a Human Self-Chosen Death.

W00t!  Euthanasia drugs – fun for the whole family!!!

I can’t believe I’ve been taking this shit for years and it should have been off our shelves years ago. Maybe it’s time to go have a heart check up :S

Qld Police Service, Weapons Licensing Branch… the countdown is on!

In order to acquire a sports target pistol in the state of Queensland you need to join the Sporting Shooters Association of Australia (SSAA), join a recognized pistol club, do a full day safety induction, participate in 15 official competitions, obtain the written support of the President of your pistol club evidencing your competence and participation, wait six months from date of club membership, do another safety induction, provide proof of ownership/access to legislatively required firearms storage facilities, gather supporting medical evidence if required, lodge your Category H Concealable Firearms License Application, wait for that to be processed, acquire your Category H Concealable Weapons License Number, lodge a Permit To Acquire application, wait a minimum 28 days for that to be processed and then go purchase yourself a pistol. All up that takes somewhere between 9-12 months IF Weapons Licensing Branch is actually processing applications in a timely fashion, which they NEVER are – anecdotal evidence indicates delays of 3-6 months are not uncommon. My own Cat H application took over 10 weeks to process and that was AFTER my application was expedited due to a particular vituperative and impatient letter to the Minister of Police, the Qld Police Commissioner, the Director of QPS Administrative Services and the Manager of Weapons Licensing Branch regarding the unreasonable delays being experienced across board due to a new computer system being implemented – yes, I’m one of THOSE consumers. And all this is normally done after you’ve already gone through several months of similar hoop jumping to get your Cat A&B Firearms License for rifles etc., and I have a sneaky suspicion that I’ve forgotten some of the swings and roundabouts on the particularly circuitous route one must take to own a competition pistol.

Once licensed, legislation dictates that you may purchase no more than two pistols in your first 12 months of holding a Category H License – 1 x air pistol, and either 1 x rimfire pistol (usually .22 calibre) OR 1 x centrefire pistol (usually .38, .45, .50 or 9mm calibres). You many NOT purchase 1 x rimfire pistol and 1 x centrefire pistol… the two types that are most commonly used in competition shooting for those disinterested in the ‘pfft pfft’ of competative air pistol shooting. Like many new sports pistol competitors, I opted for a .22 as my first acquisition which would enable me practice regularly and participate frequently due to low oncosts (50 rounds of .22 ammo = $3.50 as compared to 50 round of 9mm ammo = $28.00). This then, in accordance with the legislation, prohibits me from purchasing a centrefire pistol until 12 months of being a Cat H License holder has passed. Apparently this ‘staggered release’ purchasing system is for the ‘safety of the wider community’.

Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?

If your first purchase can be a .45 calibre hand-cannon… what’s the fucking point in restricting a licensed .22 owner from purchasing a second pistol?

To the Queensland Police Service’s Weapons Licensing Branch – Buying a handgun should be hard. It should require detailed background checking, and applicants should undergo scrutiny and be required to undertake safety inductions and participate in controlled and regulated club competitions… But you lot are totally out of touch. The acquisition restrictions imposed on legally licensed firearms owners are complete bullshit. If someone is intent on committing an illegal act using a firearm, do they think that potential criminal is going to go through over 12 months of bureaucratic bullshit to acquire said firearm legally? If a firearms license holder owns two legally purchased pistols instead of one are they more of a risk to the community then they are if just in possession of one stonking great Desert Eagle? Is one more likely to commit a firearm related crime because they own two competition pistols as compared to what we must naturally extrapolate is a diminished impulse towards criminal behaviour if they own just one?

I’m sorry, I must be slow or something, because I’m just not seeing the logic here. Why are you people making me wait 12 months before I can engage further in my chosen competitive sport? But then again, come to think of it… perhaps the Queensland Police Service Service’s Weapons Licensing Branch is where you want your most irrational policy makers and greatest bureaucratic incompetence at. After all, we can’t have logic interfering with legislation pertaining to the use and distribution of firearms now can we?

How’s the serenity?

Children are playing, a baby giggles nearby, a dog barks excitedly on the other side of the fence and a chorus of magpies are chirping away. In the near distance a council truck rounds the corner with it’s brakes sporadically complaining and the heavy plastic thud-thuds of wheelie bins being emptied. An aircraft goes overhead which temporarily drowns out the sounds of the traffic from the nearby motorway. Typical sounds of suburbia really… it’s a Tuesday.

She: When are we getting married?
He: Fuckoff! Just fuck off!
She : Wot? Why aren’t we fuckin’ gettin’ married?
He: Why would I wanna marry you? Ya fuckin’ fuckhead.

And so on and so forth. I knew it was too good to last.  All has been quiet on The Northern Front for little over a week now and it felt like life as we knew it had been returned to us. I figured that one of them was out of town, or temporarily absent as there have been scant few expletives floating over the fence for the duration. But whether it was Daleyacunt who was away, or FuckinFuckhead who went a-visiting is both unknown and completely irrelevant. They’re back now. And the combative tirade of profanity from next door appears to have resumed – full speed ahead. 😐