Painful Poem by Anonymous…

I am tired of how invariably shitty my day to day life has been since the last MVA.  I feel so totally alone and like no one understands it at all.  No one gets it.  No one.  Not the doctors, not my family, not my friends.  No one.  I feel so alone and it makes me so frustrated and impotent that I just want to scream. 

I’ve been having awful dreams about the car accidents for quite a while now.  The sickening feeling of waking up in a panic as I see the dashboard of my old car tilting at an alarming angle and the realization that we might roll into the oncoming traffic… it’s horrendous and I feel as though I can’t breathe… like there’s a heavy weight on my chest.  Lately there’s been a new variation on this recurrning dream where I’m not reliving a previous accident but rather am in my little red car and have been in yet another accident.  There’s a massive truck smashed into the side of my little red car and I’m trapped, and I can’t get out, and I can’t breathe and I’m screaming, I’m really trying to scream as loud as I can and it feels as though my lungs will burst.  But no words come out and no ones hears me… and I’m in so much pain and so totally helpless and just so… trapped.

Fear of motion, fear of pain

Hoping it won’t start again

Constant companion, constant foe

Endless presence, endless woe

Angel pills bring some relief

Lie still, don’t move before the thief

Steals the moment of peace, so sweet

Leaves burning, stabbing, piercing heat

Two white to relax, two blue to relieve

Three hours escape will be achieved

Don’t take too much and be accused

All hope of living I will lose

Take too little, the fire rages great

More pills then needed to abate

Take too much, the help runs low

Fear the help forever goes

Still so much better that help is here

I searched for compassion for many years

The saviors thought a kiss could cure

The fire was imagined, would not endure

Pills for twinges they often saw

Nothing offered, helped at all

Looks that shamed kept me away

Searching to end the hell of each day

A savior that knew, offered hope

Belief in me and pills to cope

Nerve block injections add to the force

Longer relief sent straight to the source

Gives me a chance to lessen the pills

Maybe return to a day fore the ills

Still now the cycle has gone on too long

Knowledge keeps hope from growing strong

If I move, does it begin?

Turn of the neck, lift of the chin

Maybe a walk, my health improve

Or leave me in spasms, so I can’t move

Gnawing pain may be my reward

For scrubbing the kitchen counter hard

Longing for the swing of a bat or a club

Yield burning spears, no one can snub

Fear of motion, fear of pain

Learn a hot stove burns again

Fear of not moving, I grow weak

Fear of damage pills may wreak

Fear of motion, fear of pain

I’ll take the days that may remain

Space to breathe between the wave

Of hell that makes me seek the grave

Angel pills can keep me here

To call a friend and offer cheer

To write a poem that may explain

What you can’t know about my pain

PS – I didn’t write this poem it really was written by that prolific author, Anonymous.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

I was recently told that this month’s Australian’s Women’s Weekly (a magazine whose oxymoronic name is NOT on my regular reading list) has a picture of Magda Szubanksi on the cover which I am informed I suddenly have an uncanny resemblance to.  I’ve never really followed Magda Szubanksi’s career… but I know she has been in many skit comedy shows like D-Generation, Fast Forward and that fuckin’ dreadful misrepresentative parody of Australian life – Kath & Kim (God I hate that show).  Yes I know… I am generally acknowledged to be somewhat humourless… but personally I prefer to think I have a more sophisticated sense of humour and this sort of ‘lowest common denominator’ crap is just not my thing.  To be fair it’s not just tacky Australian bullshit comedy that I don’t identify with.  As it happens I also dislike shows like Little Britain or The Might Boosh and I’m not exactly into the cinematic delights provided by the Ben Stillers and Adam Sandlers et al either.

So while Magda Szubanksi is, I think widely acknowledged to be one of the country’s foremost comediennes…  I’m not a fan.  She always seems to play the same role – that of the funny but fat and unattractive sidekick.  So I’m unsure whether to be flattered or insulted to be told by many (including the Small Child) that I resemble her somewhat on the cover of this month’s Women’s Weekly…. now that she’s dumped a pile of weight and has been photoshopped to high hell of course.

I can kinda see where they’re coming from – I have a similar round face shape, similar complexion, similar hair colour and style and we also share the same square chin thing.  Given that it’s supposed to be a remarkable weight loss story I hope they haven’t digitally ‘slimmed’ her down for maximum effect.  Though with the journalistic integrity (cough, splutter) being what it is often reputed to be with these chick magazines I wouldn’t be surprised…. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have. 

Personally looking at the magazine cover I think Magda and I have a remarkable and extraordinary resemblance to an iconic television star from my youth.  So I hit the photoshop too and took a photo of myself and touched it up a bit (seems fair – no doubt Magda had the benefit of a professional makeup artist and hair stylist for her picture) and I have made a new cover that I think looks much more ‘me’….



I’m really rather pleased with the results.  Not only does the new cover more closely resemble me personally… now I’m also a ballsy, karate chopping, frog-loving, prima donna into the bargain!  Much better than the funny but fat and unattractive sidekick.

As if I don’t have enough whiplash in my day.

I’ve had a pretty crappy day today but I don’t really think I should be allowed to whinge about it since it has become blatantly obvious that most of the angst was totally self inflicted.

I had my nails done this morning – have finally found a nail tech who not only does a nice job but seems to work really fast which is great because sitting still for the other chick was really killing my back.  Did a little book shopping and picked up some Sharpe novels because it would appear the bastards are changing the damn covers…. so have to get the full set now.  Watched while Yale, in a masterful display of geekery, told the Optus guy about all the features and benefits of his own products.  Popped into the newsagent and checked out the cover of the Woman’s Weekly 😐  ummm…. yeah… so not going there right now.  Bought a dead chicken and some fresh bread for lunch.  Came home and pottered for the rest of the day – and was surly and predisposed to be irritable throughout.

The Small Child made me into a Superhero today using the Superhero Factory that’s been doing the rounds of the internets…. thought it was kinda cool that maybe he sees his Mom like this (Wings. Wings are good but I’ve no idea why I’m bald :S) –

Thought this one wasn’t quite Pepto-Bismol enough for me so I had a go at making one too.  Interesting name the thing spat out for my chickie "Sergeant Whipped Lash"???  

Ohhhh dinner box cat!

I seriously dislike cats.  I’m pretty sure I always have and it seems likely that I probably always will.  There are cat people and there are dog people and never the twain shall meet…  and I think I’ve definitely been residing over in canine territory for quite some time now.

I just don’t like cats….
I don’t like the way they shed hair all over your good clothes.,
I don’t like the way the use their claws to destroy your furntiture.
I don’t like how they fight at night scaring the shit out of you.
I don’t like the way they jump all over the kicthen benches when you’re out.
I don’t like the way cat owners insist they NEVER do this.
I don’t like that we pay council registration fees for dogs but catowners get off free.
I don’t like kitty litter trays in the house (totally gross).
I don’t like LOLcats in any way, shape or form.
I don’t like the way they ”spray’ on your cars or leave dirty footprints on it.
I don’t like that they kill a lot of native birds.
I don’t like cat owners who don’t keep their pets indoors overnight.

i hate cats

I’ve never hurt a cat or anything… I just don’t want them anywhere near me and preferably not on my property.  I’d never deliberately harm a cat – hit it or kick it or run it over in my car (even though I might joke about wanting to) because personally I think anyone who was in the habit of harming small animals should be under watch for other sociopathic tendencies.

But mostly I don’t like the way cat lovers seem to get all wound up if you have the audacity to dislike cats.  Because lets face it… if I said I hated marmosets or something equally banal… no one would give a shit.   😐

Gary Davis is back and has a new shop – Carina Tattoo!

Years ago when I was but a year or so out of my Catholic school girl’s uniform and had been working full time for the Qld Govt  for a while… I decided to go get myself a tattoo.  As you do… mostly to piss off the uber-conservative parental units yes?  🙂   Anyway I’d always wanted one and had a custom design I’d chosen and everything.  Now as anyone who knew anything about BrisVegas back in the late 80s/early 90s knows – this meant I had to make my way down ‘Expert Tattooing’ in Stones Corner which was the bright red building right on the roundabout.

That little red tattoo parlour was a BrisVegas landmark and it had been there as long as I could remember (but it’s gone now of course).  As was typical for these places back then it had the appearance of being a place for the city’s hairy and unwashed… you know the chain smoking, drug dealing, gang member, Harley riding miscreants.  Because back then EVERYONE who had tattoos was a criminal of some sort and ended up in jail or they were going to eventually.  Or if they were female well… then they were tramps.  These were the rules – no exceptions.

Anyway I remember rocking up down there (which took some pluck at 17 to walk in dressed straight from work in heels and a skirt) and going in to find out about getting my design done.  It was here I met Gary, Andre and Mo.  And yes… they were all covered from head to toe in tats, smoked like chimneys, swore like troopers and made fun of poor niaive little Borys like you wouldn’t believe. – because you see I couldn’t convincce any of them to do my tattoo for me regarless of how much I pleaded.  Beacuse at the time the law behind the old Qld Banana Curtain stated that you had to be 17 to get a tattoo… unless you were female in which case the law stated you had to be 18.  I shit you not.

So I kept going back and trying to con them into it… and they never gave in.  After a while, Gary and I became the most unlikely of friends – we’d go to lunch, I’d ask him to do my tattoo, he’d say no and repeatedly said that I was too pretty to get tattoos and would flatly refuse to do it.  Even once I did turn 18 it still took me about another three months to talk him into doing it for me… but by that time we had become good friends and I had learned that he was one of the best so I waited him out (and threatened to get Andre to do it instead :P).  He eventually did my pixie for me on my shoulder and about a year or so later he did a little mushroom on my foot for me that he doodled on a serviette over lunch one day.

But as time passed, we eventually lost touch.  I tried to track him down a couple of times but all I could ever find was listings for places to buy his flash (Gary had given up tattooing but was still designing flash and he was mostly working doing gorgeous oil painted murals for some of the fancier resorts up and down the Whitsunday Coast)… but now he’s back!  We found him!  He’s opened a new shop called Carina Tattoo on Old Cleveland Road in Carina.

brisbane tattooist 07 3395 4894

So if anyone is thinking of getting a new tat and wants a world reknown actual ‘artist’ to do a custom piece… then it’d definitely be worth your while to hightail it to Carina in Brisbane.  🙂


Gary Davis

Internationally known Australian artist and tattooist, Gary Davis, brings over 40 years of artistic experience and excellence to his remarkable flash art. Highly prized all around the world, Gary’s intense colors, flowing style and variety of designs have earned him a respected and permanent place as one of the true legends in the tattoo industry.

Hailing from Carindale Brisbane, Australia, Gary’s considerable artistic talents go well beyond tattooing and tattoo design — he is an accomplished painter, illustrator, sculptor, cartoonist, and graphic designer.