A few years ago, no need to dwell on how many exactly, a girlfriend and I were in an adult store shopping (as you do) and wandering among the shelves we saw this monstrosity:
It was a genuine Doc Johnson (no idea who he is), Red Boy Extra Large Butt Plug aka ‘The Challenge’ – a challenge the likes of which I hope I never encounter! Naturally, we tittered like school girls and wondered who on earth would want to attempt to use such a thing, and at 4.5″ in diameter, who on earth would actually be able to?!? Talk about abhorrent phenomena! OMG!
Anyway, I picked it up off the shelve and damn near put my shoulder out, it was so heavy. I laughingly said “That’s not a butt plug, it’s a fricken door stop!” and momentarily toyed with the idea of buying one for the house, and putting it to just such a purpose. I snapped a photo on my phone, to show the boys, and we continued on our shopping. I got home and told Mr K that I’ve found a doorstop I wanted to buy for the foyer and he looked at it, laughed at me and said, “Ahuh, yeah right!”
And so I forgot about it… for a little while. But several weeks later, I found myself in a bit of a weird mood and convinced my friend Yale into taking me shopping to go buy a door stop. Now, Yale is 6’9″ tall and as such probably fits the ‘big boy’ stereotype better than most, so when we walked into the adult store and picked up the dirty big butt plug and thumped it down on the counter the chickie at the register actually looked up at HIM, with slightly widened eyes and very professionally said, “Do you need any lube with that, sir?”
Well, we just lost then and there… and emphatically, and laughingly, yelled out “NO!”. “We’re not going to use it!” I said, and I explained to the chickie that it was destined to spend it’s life as a door stop at which point she kinda breathed out and said “OMG, we have never sold one of these and it was everything I could do to keep a straight face!” LOL.
We took it home and encountered a disturbing and unexpected side effect of bringing such a thing into the house to be used an everyday object – The Small Child found it ‘interesting’ and played with the packaging for hours! Vastly amusing at the time, though now he is turning into a typical preteen, he may not agree with me when he eventually finds out what this thing is!
It has become a bit of an odd fixture around here. We once discovered The Small Child attempting to sit on the doorstop (very disconcerting) and upon enquiry, discovered he was “laying eggs… you know, like a chicken, Mom”. On another occasion, we found my Mum dusting it, and asking bemusedly “What is this thing anyway?”… and subsequently dropping it like a tonne of bricks on being told it’s intended purpose (luckily it didn’t land on her foot or it might have been off to the ER for x-rays!)
The unusual doorstop has been quite a conversation piece around our place for years now… on the odd occasion it has even made it’s way to the dinner table when people who’ve walked right past it ask, “What door stop?” Though how you miss it, I don’t know! It’s enormous!
Now, because I am in the habit of posting about retail experiences, and I know that sooo many of you are going to want to rush out and buy your own Dr Johnson Red Boy Extra Large Doorstop, I thought I’d better find out if they are still available – and you’re in luck! Amazon.com has them in stock, so you can order one here… and to be extra helpful to all you consumer types, I added a handy ‘Butt Plug As A Doorstop’ product review.
My first ever Amazon product review… :