I read a little while ago that MTV and some others were planning on remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which is the sort of news I guess one greets with some level of trepidation. I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve watched it umpteen times, have the you beaut special anniversary edition DVD, have the CD soundtrack, went to see three different stage productions of it over the years…. what can I say? It’s a classic.
So yeah… remaking it is either going to be fan-fucking-tastic or absolutely atrocious. There’s no middle ground to be had here. They’re going to have to smash it out of the park to keep their original fans happy or they’re going to tank in a spectacular fashion and be forever known as ‘that other shit new version’.
Another old Rocky Horror fan sent me a list of his ‘dream cast’ for the remake and I reckon a large portion of this films success will rest on them making solid choices in the main roles. I mean who on earth can top Tim Curry for Frank N Furter? That’s a tall ask I reckon. So who would you cast if you had control of such things??? This is the list my friends came up with over dinner. My preferences bolded and the ‘oh that would be a shit choice’ stuck out.
Dr Frank N Furter
Brendan Fraser, Patrick Warburton, Hugh Laurie, Dwayne Johnston, Jeremy Irons, Rupert Everett, Jeff Goldblum, Tim Roth, Antonio Banderas, Nathan Lane, Hugh Grant, Ewan McGregor, Ralph Fiennes, Kurt Russell, Denis Leary, Robert Downey Jnr, Hugh Jackman, Billy Zane, Hugo Weaving, David Wenham, Kevin Kline, Kevin Spacey, Eric Bana, Johnny Depp, Prince Rogers Nelson and Freddy Mercury (digital reconstruction!) … no one said this had to be realistic!
Quentin Tarantino, Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci,
Rowan Atkinson, Kelsey Grammar, Chris Rock, John Malkovic, Bruce Spence, Armande Assante, John Leguizamo, Jack Black, Nathan Lane, Mos Def, George Clooney, Ryan Stiles, Mandy Patinkin, John Travolta, Andy Serkis, James Spader, Richard E Grant, David Duchovny, Steve Buscemi, Michael Clark Duncan, Verne Troyer, Tim Minchin, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Dave Foley… I think I’d like to see Christopher Eccleston give Riff Raff a go.
Jeff Goldblum, Jason Lee, Adrian Brody, David Tennant, Charlie Cox as much as I love John Cusack, I think he’s a bit old in the teeth for this one. What about Natan Fillion??
Selma Blair, Jaime Pressley, Jewel Staite, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Naomi Watts, Clare Danes, Kristen Bell, Kate Winslet
Holland Taylor, Bette Midler, Joan Cusack, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfieffer, Tia Carrere, Toni Collette, Janeane Garufalo, Selma Blair, Christina Ricci, Kathleen Turner, Christine Baranski, Julie Anthony, Julie Andrews, Joanna Lumbley, Emily Watson. (I think they must have had a fair bit of wine by this stage of the list making)
Dwayne (the Rock) Johnston, Dask Mihok, Paul Mc Dermott, John Travolta, Vin Diesel (yeah!), Guy Pierce, Matthew Perry, Diedrich Bader, Jack Black,
Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, Zooey Deschanel, Julie Brown, Salma Hayek, Pink, Jane Horrocks (perfect), Catherine Zeta Jones, Julia Sawalha
Dwayne (the Rock) Johnston (am begining to think there must have been a fan in the room), Diedrich Bader, Alan Tudyk…. don’t know who’d make a good Rocky. Maybe they’d be better off casting some unknown piece of buff man meat
John Goodman, Ron Perlman, John Travolta, Alec Baldwin, Brian Blessed, Christopher Walken, Sam Neill, Michael Caine, Stephen Fry, Gene Hackman, Miriam Margolyes
Patrick Warburton, Patrick Stewart, Kelsey Grammar, John Rhys-Davies, John Goodman, Richard Attenborough, Michael Gambon, Tim Curry, Christopher Lee, Frank Langella, Tom Selleck, Art Malik, Ben Kingsley, John Cleese.
Dunno. Hard choices very hard choices. Lets just hope they don’t fuck it up 🙂