Butt wait, there’s more.

Seems to be a bit of an ongoing theme starting up here, and I’m not so sure I’m so keen on it.  I know that many of my friends are aware that I like bees… and sometimes they send me things that are covered in bees.  They are also aware of my fascination with otters (cute and sweet river otters that is, not the horrible rapey sea otters ones – you can keep those!), and have a tendency to send me cute internet otter pictures all the time.

But, now I am worried that after two recent posts and one oldish post about sex toys, I am now getting a reputation for being some sort of butt plug connoisseur!  Like there should even exist such people as experts on butt plugs!  Because THIS turned up in my inbox today from a well meaning friend whom shall remain nameless (though I bet you can all imagine who sent it anyway!)…

putin my arse ass butt plugI mean as a political statement, I’m right behind it (pun intended)… Putin can shove his anti-gay sentiments where the sun don’t shine and why not a customized butt plug to help protest his blatant homophobia?  There’s an absurd logic there, I can’t help but admire.

However,  if I’ve suddenly become everyone’s ‘go-to gal’ for sending aberrant butt plug pictures to… then, I think I have rather rapidly gained an absolutely, entirely and totally unwarranted new reputation that may need to be seriously addressed!  Well, as seriously as you can while laughing over a Putin My Ass Butt Plug!

Alaska and Dixie sally forth!

I haven’t written about our little rescued puppy mill pups in quite a while now, which is rather odd considering how much joy and how many smiles they bring into the house on a daily basis… I guess I’ve been distracted by the surprising realization that what people really want to read about is sex toys, but I digress.  🙂

Dixie is Mutley Number One… she’s just passed her first birthday which we arbitrarily assigned to her as being 10/11/12, seeing that all we knew about her was she was approximately X months old when we got her!  Everyone needs a birthday, birthdays are important (feel free to read a little ‘fuck Christmas’ into that sentiment while you are at it!).  Every morning I get up and she comes to greet me by… laying flat on her back and waiting for a tummy rub.  Seriously.  She doesn’t jump up on my legs or anything (though she does this to many other people), she just wags her tail and immediately flops herself over waiting for a tummy rub.  Spoiled little girl… but obviously knows how to get what she wants! Dixie is just awesome to have around, she mostly moseys around the house and loves being near the humans… she will happily spend most of her day curled up in a sleepy little ball of soft white fluff on the couch beside you, if you let her.  For months we thought she had a really wirey coat and then summer came along and we gave her a clip – well, not really a clip, actually.  I needed new blades for my clippers, so I just grabbed a pair of scissors and gave her a stunning Meg Ryan hair cut… the tousled, ‘I just got out of bed’ look is what all the fashionable puppies are wearing this season!


But I eventually bought some new clipper blades, and now she is looking all neat and tidy while still slightly scruffy (I don’t like over grooming the hair around their faces, they start to stop looking like their naturally beautiful selves) and her coat is sooo soft.  Couple of little oddities in her behaviour lately – one in particular that has only just started.  She has been pacing along the wall in our media room looking at the ceiling… I think she has noticed the 16′ projector screen that hangs just below the ceiling, of course it’s been there all the time, but she has decided it is of concern lately, so she’s been pacing back and forth and occasionally growling at it, and then turns to me imploringly to ‘do something about it Mom!’  It’s so cute to watch her trying to figure it out.




Alaska puppy, who is sometimes called ‘Boof’, because this is the odd low noise she occasionally makes which passes for barking, is simply unrecognizable compared to the poor scared weird little girl that we picked up back in August.  She is 100% full of joy and beans it would seem… so much energy!  She’s quite the little mountain goat – I’ve never seen such an agile little dog.  She races around the house, giving Dixie her daily exercise, and jumps up on the furniture and gracefully leaps the great divide (for her, anyway!) between the couches to get to a new lap for cuddles.  She still prances annoying out of reach if you want to pick her up from a standing position, but as soon as you sit down, she comes rushing forward for affection and cuddles and well, tries to lick your nose off.  She actually got out of the house a couple of weeks ago and I immediately freaked out thinking, she will never come back if we call her – she won’t come to us when we call her in the house.  Luckily quick thinking saved the day.  I walked out where she could see me and sat down in the middle of the road and just like aways she ran straight over to me and jumped in my lap.  🙂  Gotta love using their little quirks to your advantage!

Alaska 1

Recently however we have noticed that Alaska has been getting the shakes, and I don’t mean the ‘Oh I’m cold would you people PLEASE turn down the air con’ shakes, and I don’t mean the ‘Oh shit we are going to see the nice lady who takes my temperature up my butt’ shakes, or even the ‘Holy dooley, that is one big dog, keep him away from me’ shakes.  No, we noticed she had started shaking like a Parkinson’s sufferer all the time even when we were all just chilling out around the house.  I couldn’t tell if she was in any discomfort – she didn’t appear to be, and it didn’t appear to be situational or environmental.  She didn’t have any other symptoms of ill health (eating normally, pooping normally – ie: everywhere! 😉 ) and was otherwise her playful usual self… just shaking all the time.

So, I did what every responsible puppy lover does and consulted the Oracle (totally Googled that shit!) and came up with what looked like something called Generalized Tremor Syndrome… it’s a neurological condition.  Then I consulted all our good friends on the ARQ Angel Forum to see if any of the other puppy mill puppies – her cousins and siblings – had shown any signs of weird shaking.  Seems like there is plenty of fear trembling going on among this crew, but nothing like this.  And while I had the chance over the weekend in Canberra, I asked my friend Rob the Vet what he thought it might be (armed with handy video on my phone so I could show him her only symptom).  He says to me with a straight face – ‘I think she has Shaky White Dog Syndrome’… I thought he was making that shit up, but apparently that is another name for Idiomatic Shaking Syndrome (all these things are the same condition, I am now learning) which is a neurological/auto-immune condition, prevalent in – you guessed it – small white dog breeds, like Maltese and West Highland White Terriers.

Now Alaska is supposed to be predominantly Fox Terrier, and given her diminuitive stature, I would have thought that is about right… now however we are thinking she may have a lot of Maltese in there, though she is never going to be as large as your average Maltese.  So off to the vet with Alaska for a full exam yesterday.  Sharon the Vet really put Alaska through her paces, and our timid little girl passed all her neurological tests with flying colours… except that one where she needed to stop shaking for 60 seconds together!  So yep, our shaky white puppy has Shaky White Puppy Syndrome and we are going to put her on a small course of steroids to see if it helps – it can’t be fun spending every waking hour with the shakes, poor little thing.  At the moment she is happily curled up defending the tv remote controls…

Alaska 2

Tackiest Present Ever Competition

Do you have a friend or family member with whom you have this strange competitive thing going on, whereby you attempt to exchange the most odd/bizarre/tacky or just plain stupid present with?  Or maybe you have a perpetual present that keeps being re-gifted from person to person to person… and at any given point, someone is ‘stuck’ with the stupid thing.

We have a tendency to do both thanks to a slightly off kilter sense of humour that runs in my family, and it is never so apparent as when it comes to gift giving.  There was the time that Surly wrapped up a stuffed cat for the Small Child for his birthday…  And the time that we took a large unwieldy and unattractive pottery ‘pod’ thing, that some well meaning friend had given my mother, and regifted it to my younger sister 250kms away, who then regifted it to BigSal who then regifted it to us, then it was regifted back to my Mum and it was supposed to be regifted to Edouardo up in Atherton, but no one every figured out how to ship the stupidly big thing!  😀   Then there was the time I spend hours search for the perfect black velvet painted Elvis for BigSal for her birthday, and somehow ended up giving her a weirdarse Sadler teapot instead!

I mean honestly, our fall back position for people who don’t hand over decent gift ideas for Christmas presents, is to frequently threaten them with a footspa!  Because, well, everyone needs a footspa like a hole in the head!  But I digress…

This year I was trying to find MrK a Christmas present and was absolutely 100% out of ideas, let alone decent ideas.  Then I happened upon this while out shopping one day:

And I thought to myself… MrK would LOVE that!  It’s exactly what has been missing in his life  😀  And of course, I would win the Single Use Appliance Christmas Present War this year with a Rollie Vertical Egg Cooker like this!  Sheer brilliance!  So after much deliberation (about 2mins 10 secs), I decided to give him one for Christmas – thinking it would either be awesome or end up gong back to the shop as soon as the stores re-opened.

rollie egg cooker

Well, Mr K opened it and looked at me with the ‘Umm, err thanks’ of beguiled gift recipients who aren’t sure if someone is taking the piss out of them or not, familiar the world over, thanked me for the unusual gift.  But then someone incredible happened… he tried it out and LOVED it.  And it has then been quick and easy and no clean up Rollie Eggs for everyone ever since.

rollie egg master


I was gobsmacked, the ridiculous half joking present had indavertently turned out to be a success .  But wait… there’s more!  He told everyone at work that he had bought his wife a new iPad Air for Christmas and that she had bought him a Rollie Egg Cooker.  Which apparently piqued their interest (either that or he is one helluva salesman!) because suddenly everyone at his work wanted to try it out.  So he was going to take his Rollie Egg cooker to work and I went ‘Meh, I will go get you another one and you can have Rollie Eggs for lunch’.  I managed to pick one up and then Mr K had to spend his monrings for the following week showing everyone how to make Rollie Eggs! He had people from other divisions turning to cook vertical eggs and eventually people from different floors deciding they loved the Rollie Egg Cooker.

Sigh… guess I’ll just have to work harder on my tacky/weird present buying skills…

Personality Quizzes for Shits and Giggles

I don’t really like the Stars stuff… Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargates, and all the rest of that crap.  Too many aliens.  My favourite show set in space is Firefly – no aliens! – and that’s mostly because of Malcolm Reynolds… the guy everyone man wants to be and every woman wants to shag.

Anyway, there’s a stilly Star Wars Personality Quiz floating around Facebook this morning and I’m just bored enough to do it and here is my result: Star Wars Personality QuizAnd I’m reading that and thinking ‘Yeah, sounds about right’.  But which one do I believe because the Harry Potter Personality Quiz in the side bar says I’m Professor Snape!

harry potter character are you quizAnd no I am so confused because the internet has never let me down before!

And they keep on coming – Which X-Man am I? Storm apparently
zimbio which xmen

Which sits weirdly with ‘Which Downton Abbey Character Am I?’  Lady Mary…?
Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 7.42.15 AM And as we all know, Lady Mary is very similar in character as The Black Widow from the ‘Which Avenger Am I’ quiz?  I am starting to have a sneaking suspicion that these quizzes are not very scientific… little bit of consistency wouldn’t go astray though.
Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 7.55.19 AMWhich goes straight to ‘Which Disney Side Kick Am I’ and ends up with this:

Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 8.18.04 AMYeah, I can’t make head nor hide of it either.  But there is something about surveys and quizzes that makes people keep on clicking through!


What’s wrong with you people?


It’s not me… it’s you!

I write crap here all the time, mostly because I enjoy writing it, and less so because I think people enjoy reading it… because well, let’s face it, most of what ends up here is drivel. Behind the scenes, the handy dandy little widgety thingamebob on the stats page tells me if people actually read the complete and utter nonsense that I am spewing forth with alarming regularity on an unsuspecting public… and it is telling me that you people are weird bastards!  I may have written it, but look how many of you clicked through to read about recontextualized sex toys, of all things!

Seriously?  What is wrong with you people?   🙂