Hurricanes, Homosexuality and Hocus Pocus.

Posted on October 30, 2012 by borysSNORC

The British Museum has an exquisite woodcut in their current ‘Shakespeare Exhibition’ which depicts four witches concocting a spell to create a huge storm at sea –

James I believed the witches were trying to conjure up the storm to kill him by sinking his ships! Such evil forces in the world back then. And obviously there’s evil forces at work today too…

For Hurricane Sandy is no normal hurricane or cyclone or post-tropical cyclone or just plain old storm. Labelled the ‘Mother of All Storms’, ‘A Monster Storm’ and the ominous sounding, ‘Frankenstorm’ – it can’t be the result of something mundane, rational and scientific like global warming or climate change. Can it? No, far more likely that there’s medieval witchcraft at play here.

Or, we could take the word of John McTeman, a well known wack job fundamentalist Christian preacher, who claims the storm is more proof that “God is systematically destroying America” as punishment for the “homosexual agenda”!!!

It’s up to you people… Is this ‘once in a generation’ monstrous storm the result of – Climate Change? Medieval Witchcraft? Or… the Democratic Homosexual Agenda?

Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Social Networking Needs

Posted on May 8, 2012 by borysSNORC

I particularly like that with a little creative license this Hierarchy of Needs could like like a great big pile of poo… much like 90% of the social networking we digest these days. 😐

The Diamond Anniversary Theory

Posted on April 27, 2012 by borysSNORC

Clever guy that he is, Mr K worked out back in the beginning that paper, wood and linen just doesn’t cut it when it comes to showing the woman in your life how much you appreciate her. I mean, seriously? Paper?

So for many, many years now Mr K has been telling people that ALL wedding anniversaries mean Diamonds – and whenever anyone brings up the ‘traditional’ list of wedding anniversary gifts he agrees that the list is quite correct, but that people have been misinterpreting it for a very long time. ‘Paper’, he claims, is the receipt for diamonds; ‘cotton’ is the little cloth jewellery bags that the diamonds come in, ‘leather’ is the bound boxes which also house diamonds… but that’s about as far as he’s ever really gotten in explaining his Diamond Anniversary Theory before getting an amused reaction from any male listener and an approving reaction from any female audience!

Having just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary, I thought I’d put him to the test and see how far his Diamond Anniversary Theory could hold out. And this, ladies, is what came of it:

Mr K’s Diamond Anniversary Theory

1^st Paper: Receipt for diamonds

2^nd Cotton: Cotton velvet jewellery bags that diamonds come in

3^rd Leather: Leather bound jewellery boxes for diamond rings

4^th Linen: Linen shirt pocket containing diamond tennis bracelet

5^th Wood: Polished walnut boxes with diamond studs inside

6^th Iron: Diamonds bought paying the ‘Iron Price’ (not ‘Gold Price’!!)

7^th Wool: Padding holding loose diamonds for setting of her choice

8^th Bronze: Diamond set Bronze Age design torc bangle

9^th Poetry: Slogan at Tiffany & Co. where diamond keys (pl!) are purchased

10^th Tin: Biscuit tin in which diamond jewellery is hidden until anniversary

11^th Steel: BHP stocks sold to buy diamond necklace

12^th Silk: Ribbon on box of miscellaneous diamond jewellery

13^th Lace: Lace filigree work on setting for diamond pendant

14^th Ivory: Ivory Coast ‘blood’ diamonds acquired in suspect transaction

15^th Crystal: Temporarily give up crystal meth habit to pay buy diamonds

20^th China: Trip to Hong Kong to buy back alley diamonds

25^thSilver: Cremated remains of 1st husband made into a Life Diamond

30^th Pearl: Diamond encrusted, pearl handled handgun/s

35^th Coral: Diamonds recovered from pirate treasure found in the Coral Sea

40^th Ruby: Recently deceased Grandma Ruby’s heirloom diamonds

50^th Golden: Diamonds bought with $1 coins saved from leftover schrappers

55^th Emerald: Diamond solitaire ring – Emerald cut of course

60^th Diamond: Well duh…

70^th Platinum: Platinum Visa used to purchase more diamonds

75^th Diamond/Gold: You can’t buy off my affections every… OMG!!! It’s a tiara!!!

So there you have it. Every wedding anniversary really is a Diamond Wedding Anniversary. Ladies, make sure you spread the word to your husbands, and gentlemen… I hope you’re paying attention! 🙂

Word Clouds for shits and giggles.

Posted on April 23, 2012 by borysSNORC

A friend of mine was doing up some interesting Word Cloud images on Facebook tonight via Tagxedo.com and was coming up with some very creative and cool images full of words describing her friends. I flicked through to the site and noticed you can use the URL of your blog or Twitter feed or website and it will create one for you based on your content. So I thought I’d give it a burl for a bit of a lark on an otherwise boring Monday night.

Here’s one it created from this blog: www.boryssnorc.com

Here’s one I created from my SCA website: www.threegoldbees.com

And here’s one I created from my Twitter feed (which I don’t use much tbh): @boryssnorc

That last one is a bit painful really… but then, so am I.

Ooer! Young, handsome, perceptive AND socially adept?!?

Posted on April 20, 2012 by borysSNORC

I got stuck standing around outside Latin this afternoon engaged in a conversation that I tried to politely extricate myself from about four times! Don’t you hate it when that happens? You’ve got places to be and people to see and find yourself caught in a conversation with someone who just won’t take a hint. Twice I tried, “Well, I’ve got to get going, I’ll see you next week…” and even that didn’t get me out of the goddamn conversation.

Anyway, there was a young (and I don’t mind saying, rather handsome) man standing nearby who must be more perceptive than your average bear, because he actually came to my rescue and saved me from this tedious conversation! The young stranger walked up to me and said “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” I looked at him, and said “You have?” with slight disbelief and a momentarily confused expression. He said “Yes, I need your help with the mumble mumble geo-science building blah blah something or other I didn’t quite catch”. And I said “Oh, ok.”, “See you later, Ms Tedious”, and walked off with the extremely attractive and very welcome interloper!

Once we were out of earshot and I said to him, “Do I know you?” to which he confidently replied “Nope, but you totally looked like you needed out of there!” I laughed and thanked him for his assistance. But this impressively confident Brad ‘Test Fighter Pilot’ (ch-ching) type guy didn’t stop just there… he asked me to come out to have a drink with him and gave me ‘the look’!

Curious huh? Either his mates put him up to it or I must have been having one helluva good hair day today. Oh and for the record… in a most uncharacteristic fashion for someone of the male persuasion, he was even talking to my face!

He looked like this guy… only much cheekier!