Hit the road little Jack and don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more!! Hit the road little Jack and don’t you come back no more. And this is precicely what very nearly happened to me last night.

I am up in Twin Waters helping out Mr K by attending a work ‘Gala Awards’ dinner (and I use the term loosely given there were blue jeans, t-shirts and inappropriate footware aplenty) so that he might give his bosses,clients and co-workers the impression he is a respectale family man. I know, I know. It’s like trying to push shit uphill with a shovel but we do what we can 🙂

The drive to this once familiar location was stressful and worrisome beyond belief. First there was the truck that had smooshed a 4WD full of Mum and Dad holidaying with the kids and a trailer full of camping gear into a concrete road works barrier that had the traffic bumper to bumper from the Bribie Island turnoff all the way back to THE GATEWAY FUCKING BRIDGE!!! Then there’s the wankers with their heads up their own arses who aren’t giving way so the ambulances can get to them. And then there was the impatient fuckwits who think theyre going to be getting there quicker by constantly switching from one creeping lane to the other creeping lane while tailgaiting the guy in front of them! Morons the lot if them. Which reminds me – I am totally going to get a new horn in my car that doesn’t sound like you’ve just stepped on a rubber ducky squeaky toy when you’re trying to honk at someone with righteous indignation.

On top of dealing with Mr Beer Swilling Male Pattern Baldness Testosterone Fuelled Cockhead I also had to contend with a spectacular Google Maps clusterfuck. Luke a good little girl who doesn’t own a Refidex I jumped on the PC to check the directions before I left. I used to come up here all the time as a kid but haven’t been here for about 20 years. Sigh… There was a whole bullshit drama that started with a ‘take the first exit off the roundabout’ that should have been a ‘take the THIRD exit off the roundabout’ and ended with Google Msps on my phone leading me the back maintenance entrance of this massive golf course resort.

I’ve always had an aversion to GPS units and thought of them much in the vein of other single use appliances that rarely get used but I was wishing for one on this drive though god knows it might have still be all gone to shit given that it was Google Maps leading me astray in the first place. 🙁

So after forty five mins wasted driving around in circles I finally arrived as pissed off as all hell and feeling in just the right mood to go dealing with a bunch of Bus People (who seem to have some uncanny similarities to Circus People) none of whom I had met before.

Fun fun fun for the whole family.