I have tickets 🙁
Tickets that were booked last December.
Tickets to New Zealand to attend SCA May Crown.
Tickets that cost $475.00 each.
Tickets for myself, Sir Phil and Shagsy Wagsy.
Tickets that I… we… won’t be using.
It was all arranged months ago and I really thought by the time it rolled around that all would be well. I thought it was something positive to look forward to and given my anti-social attitude and hermitic habits of late… I honestly thought it would be a good thing to have something, anything, to look forward too. But now it’s only a week or two away and I just can’t bring myself to go. In the cost / benefit analysis… the pain and bullshit totally outweighs any potential fun.
Don’t want to sit still on 4 hr flight – that’s gonna hurt.
Don’t want to be handling luggage – that’s gonna hurt.
Don’t want to sleep on crap motel beds – that’s gonna hurt.
Don’t want to sit on bad chairs all weekend – that’s gonna hurt.
Don’t want to wear heavy SCA frocks – that’s defintely going to hurt!
Don’t want to be driving around getting lost in an unfamiliar city….
Don’t want to get stuck talking to people I couldn’t give a shit about atm…
Don’t want to deal with pretentious and officious Laurels at meetings…
The whole idea of going away is already churning my stomach and filling me with anxiety at the predictable exacerbation in pain and emotional disquiet the trip would inevitable provoke. I don’t think I’m up for this at all.
.