OMG.  My back hurts… I know I’ve been writing about my stupid back for years, and how it bothers me every single day…  hell even I’m sick to death of my own bitching and moaning about my shitty back.  But I can’t think about anything but fucking back pain pissing me off whenever I try to do any little thing.  I couldn’t sleep last night…. I was doped up to the eyeballs on codeine based pain killers and other good stuff that was making me feel very dopey.  But just couldn’t sleep.  So it was like midnight before I dozen off… and I woke up just after 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep.    Which means I’ve spent the day feeling like my eyeballs have been coated with sandpaper and people are talking to me underwater.  And that’s kinda crap on top of the not insignificant pain that’s screaming at me everytime I try to lift my arms up or do something really adventurous like turn my head.   Sniff, sniff… and my left foot still hurts too….

I need new shoes!!!  (wait I already said that!)

So shit all round really…  trying to rest but unable to sleep, feeling vague from the drugs, unable to concentrate and for reasons I can’t explain I chose to watch that Hairspray movie today.  Shrug… I don’t know what possessed me – it were crap.

But worse than that stupid crap film was the bad news that the nasty arse insurance company is going to fix my car, which will no doubt never be the same again.  🙁   Maybe Surly was right…. I must have been one helluva bitch in a former life cos I seem to have so much constant crap raining down on me in this one!    On the upside… this has given me something to complain about other than the shit at my work! 

PS – Thanks everyone who called or pinged me on the MSN to see if I was still alive and kicking… it’s nice to know that people are thinking of you while you’re falling into a self indulgent downward spiral of self pity!  🙂
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I’d much rather be running amok! amok! amok! amok! amok! but given that I am singularly unable to think about anything except how much pain my back is causing me right now… running aback! aback! aback! aback! aback! is all I’m capable of.

My back is one big ouchy.  I can’t sit still, I can’t turn my head (makes driving interesting), I can’t brush my hair, my feet are occasionally numb.. I can’t even  undo my own bra and my wrists are aching when I move my hands –  that’s not normal right? 

I went to see the quack today and he raced me off for some xrays to make sure nothing was proper broke like.  And same as always, there’s no broken bones.  I was almost wishing there was – at least then it would seem to make sense being in so much fucking pain.  So the doctor does the predictable thing that every other doctor I’ve presented with back pain to does…. loads me up with drugs. 

More anti-inflammatories and  pain killers for the people I say!!! 

Though you gotta wonder how good can this stuff be for you… if your doctor has to call some obscure government pharmaceutical control bureau for a ‘prescription approval for these sorts of quantities’.   Surely that doesn’t bode well for the intestinal tract.

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Straight after the accident yesterday I called OOO to see if they needed to send out a cop to write up a traffic incident report…. and I was kinda hoping that the dumb bitch who ran up my arse would get some sort of fine for negligent driving or following too close or something – anything really.  The stupid emergency call centre operator transferred me to what I assumed was my local station, where I was advised that they didn’t need to send anyone out unless there was someone seriously injured , so I could go to my local police station in the morning and make a report then….. and I stupidly believed them.

So when I went to go make said Police Report this morning, imagine my surprise when the cop there told me I should have called in last night and someone should have attended the scene to make a report.  😐   Damn and botheration.  Now I dont really give a shit, except that I’ve woken up excessively stiff and sore and are about to make the rounds to the quack and probably eventually physios etc, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the insurance companies aren’t really going to want to slug it out over the medical bills without that police report having been lodge all correct like.

Rest the physio said…. a-huh.  Right after I go to the police station and get the run around, try to track down crazy bitch who crashed into me for more details, harrass my insurance company to lodge a claim, go down to smash repairs to get personal stuff out of my vehicle, harrass the other insurance company over a replacement rental car, go to work to make sure things dont fall apart there, go to physio, try and look into Work Cover stuff, go to the GP for medical certificates, go to rental car office to pick up temporary vehicle, go get Angel from school, go to pharmacy to get more drugs… then go home and fall into quibbering mess.

I am sooooo sick and tired of this shit…. As if having experienced chronic back pain for THE LAST SIXTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE wasn’t bad enough, I feel today like I am back to square one.  Stiff, unable to touch my head properly or reach up and get stuff out of the cupboard.  I’m so stiff that I can’t bend over to do up my shoes and abandoned putting on sneakers yesterday.  And worst of all – I’ve got pains in ankles and lower legs, and in my wrists and forearms, and a strange acute pain in my left foot when I walk.  I’ve never had pain in my extremities before, and right now – typing this is hurting my arms, so I probably shouldn’t be doing it. 

I need help.  I need someone to deal with my car, the insurance company and the work cover people.  I need better drugs.  I need someone to take over my work.  I need a new heatpack.  I need new shoes!  🙁
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