Help… I’m stuck in Transit Hell.

Jesus titty fucking Christ I have just had the worst transit since the Allah-Awful 40hour plus nightmare transit that was getting back from Islamabad to Brisbane in 2007…!

I woke up, it was a lovely morning, I had slept well, the sun was shining and it was looking like a good day.  I was looking forward to my flights, and hopefully a comfortable and minimum fuss transit day.  I left home at a reasonable at 0800 on Friday morning to leave via the Brisbane International Terminal.  I realised the last few international flights I have taken have all gone out via Sydney, so it’s been a while since I checked in at BNE Intl.  When I got to the Qantas counters, I saw all the usual premium check-in counters were gone.  No premium check-in line, no ‘Platinum people go here’… just a Business and StatusWhores line that lead directly to a bank of SELF CHECK IN MACHINES! The horror!

What (and I cannot stress this enough), the actual fuck is going on here?  I am flying for the first time with the P1 fanciness under my belt and I’m expecting a friendly crew member welcoming me and doing all the things while checking on my upgrade requests.  Instead there was about 8 machines, six people standing around and two confused looking staff dealing with some guys checking in a bunch of oversized ski equipment bags.   I could see no option but to use the self check-in machine, so I did.  It printed me a bag tag and some boarding passes, which I then had to put on my luggage myself (I hate those fucking stupid sticker things; if I don’t get them on crooked, I invariably end up with an annoying paper cut), and no bright orange Priority Luggage tag on it, which was sad-making all of itself.  We then had to take them over to self-drop bag check-in off area, where predictably, the luggage drop scanner couldn’t read my bag tag.  I stood there stupidly for about five minutes trying to flag down one of the three staff who walked past me all saying, ‘Just a moment, I’ll be right with you.’  

Eventually, someone came to see why the machine wasn’t working, and said ‘Oh it hasn’t read your boarding passes…’ but it had.  Fucking twice – it was only working now because I had been jostling the suitcase around trying to get the scanner to see it while waiting from someone to come sort it.

I go downstairs to get ready to go through security and through border control, only to realise that my lack of greeting also meant I didn’t have a security express pass.  I’ve marched up to the express pass lane anyway – because that’s where we go, and the staff member there stopped me and asked me for my pass… I said, probably somewhat curtly, that there is no staff up there anymore and no one gave me one.  I showed her my boarding pass and she sent me straight through – I gotta wonder why they are asking for them, if Qantas has stopped issuing them.  I go down the queue and the express lane got funnelled into a special assistance queue full of non-frequent travellers who had wheelchair and crutches, and a woman with an arsenal of liquids holding up the queue.  So standing around way longer than necessary.  My mood was now thoroughly nonplussed and heading to annoyed. 

I get to the Business Lounge and was finally greeted by a lovely lady named Maria, she was the first interaction I had with any airline staff.  She had the misfortune to ask how my morning was going.  I responded by asking her what was going on at the check-in counters… and her “Oh, I know! Everyone is appalled.”, reaction told me everything I needed to know.  Too much cost cutting, and new staff dealing with the new check-in counters.  I said, ‘We fly a lot, we fly Qantas for a predictable experience, but this has been absolute rubbish. What’s the point in having airline status if you can’t reduce your aggravation points during checkin processes?’  Maria encouraged me to write a letter… but noticeably, she did not give me an email address to send it to. 

The Lounge was quiet-ish, but overall, I’m just not feeling the love today.  Flying is a shitty experience in general and the more you do it, the less ‘fun’ it becomes.  Ticket prices are higher than ever, Qantas has posting record quarter on quarter profits, and yet, the customer experience is declining rapidly… even for people like us at the top of their loyalty program.  So what the fuck? 

I found myself thinking about the check-in BS the whole time I was sitting there: I got no, ‘welcome’ at all, no priority luggage tag, no express security pass and WOW if this is how their highest level loyalty customers are going to get treated now, they can get fucked.  ALL the touch points imaginable and no personalised anything… so why be brand loyal if all the perks are disappearing?

We are eventually boarding and thankfully everything there at least went smoothly.  Normally I get a “Welcome back Ms Borys” when I load onto the plane, and I didn’t even get that – weird. Once we were loaded and ready to go, we had 40 mins waiting at the gate before pushing back late due to undefined ‘technical issues’.  That ol’ chestnut! Eventually we get out on the tarmac and thankfully weren’t pushed too deep into the take off pattern and were in the air about 45 mins late in total.   Unexpected bonus on the plane – it was an Airbus A330 and we had wifi that would hold as long as we were over Australia… though the boys were probably wishing I didn’t have connection as I spent the time lamenting the poor airport experience. Pic for Yale who is flying cattle to Las Vegas next week!

Just after we got past Darwin, as we were heading out over the sea, an announcement came over the PA asking if there were any medical professionals on the flight.  Oh dear lord, I’ve been here before and last time it resulted in being rerouted to Bahrain and a 19 hour delay in getting where we were going.

Thankfully whatever doctors came and assessed the situation must have decided it was safe to continue our flight, but advised the Captain to get there as quickly as possible.  Pilot put the hammer down and we had a very bumpy flight and we arrived in Singapore a full hour and an bit early after leaving nearly an hour late. 

Predisposed to being critical – I had a very ordinary meal on the way here. The dessert choices always suck, so it’s cheese or cheese.

We disembarked in Singapore, and I had a slow walk through the terminal.  I know Changi is supposed to be the best airport in the world, but if you can’t get enthused for high end shopping, and don’t feel like exploring a humid butterfly garden or something, what’s the point?  
Sorry Mr K, no Tumi surprises for you this trip.

I pretty much ended up heading to the Qantas First Class Lounge to find somewhere comfortable to settle in for what was now going to be a 6 hour layover thanks to the early arrival.  The lounge was PACKED. There were loads of people in there on Fiji Air boarding passes and Cathay and lord knows what.  This place needs to be twice this size given that there are so many affiliates using the facility. 

The lounge was also a bit weird… there were staff members wandering around offering people drinks and menus, but for some reason when found a comfy spot, and settled in, I waited about 10 mins and no one had come to offer me a drink – could have been resting bitch face by this point, but I gave up waiting for a server and went and helped myself to a fridge.  Thankfully, there are also nice clean and well appointed showers so at least we can freshen up and feel more human before hitting the connections.

Wasn’t there long before being told that QF1 from SYD was going to be delayed.  Oh joy!  It was about 1800 local when I was told this, and it was due at 2150, but expected now at 2250.  Our originally scheduled departure was supposed to be 2305, so that was never going to happen and we were bound to be a solid 60-90 mins late.  I was correct and they told us we would be leaving around 0030. 

Edit:  
I don’t know wtf is going in with this flight. 
Original ETD: 2305 and arriving 0615. 
First delayed to ETD:  0030 arriving 0740. 
Now it’s saying ETD of 0100 arriving 0640…? 
How does that work?

We all dutifully left the lounge and went down to the gate for 0000 as told for a 0030 departure, only to be told we had another 30 min delay due to that famous scapegoat, ‘technical issues’ once more. None of us embarked until around 0110-ish.  No greetings and things on boarding – I know they must be a little harried, but I’ve been on way delayed flights before and the staff are usually so friendly.  Things were looking good and then nope!  Apparently we had an ‘engineering issue’ this time so that delayed us another 30mins.  Our 2305 flight was eventually pushing back at 0140, only now we had lost all places in the runway queue so we took the scenic route out to a different runway where we waited another waited another 20 mins for clearance.  

After about 35 mins of that wait, we had the Captain coming on apologetically explaining that we had lost radio comms, and had to go back to the gate to fix it.   He sounded as exasperated as I felt. At this point it is now 0225 and I’m 1hr 15mins into a cheerful WWII movie, and I am utterly exhausted.  Been awake forever. We take the scenic route back to the gate… taxing back and forth around Changi wasn’t how I was hoping to spend the wee hours of this morning at all!   I was just sitting there with fingers crossed hoping we weren’t all deplaned and sent to a hotel to wait for new aircraft!  Half of the business cabin has their jammies on and are into our second or third glass of champagne. The crew are going to run out of nuts at this rate! Not even the view of the Scoot Pokemon planes are not making this incessant waiting more fun.

We get back to the gat at 0235 – and ‘lo and behold, there is no one there to operate the aerobridge to let the comms engineers on. FFS… my <6 hour layover is now pushing well into a 9 hours layover due to arriving early and now leaving with all these delays.  It currently 0445 Saturday AM Brisbane, a full 24 hours since I last slept.

The fun it never ends… This is the plane that won’t take off!  
0330 update – comms engineers have fixed the radios and it will be 15 mins until we can try to leave again. Wonder how long we will wait on the tarmac for a place in the runway queues this time. So much for a 2305 departure, huh? 

Pushback take two finally occurred around 0340, and after another shorter wait (thank fuck!) on the tarmac, our flight just left after 0410.  Now all we want is to go to sleep, but of course the crew have all only been awake for a couple of hours, and they’re about to run their food service because that is what they do – regardless of schedule.  A late ‘dinner’ that would have been served at midnight is now being offered at fucking 5am.  I wasn’t hungry at all, but thought I’d have the mid-flight sandwich to tide me over as dinner was 8 hours ago, and breakfast was definitely 13 to 14 hours away.  

Big mistake, I should have skipped it and kept everyone away from me.  0455 – I’ve been awake for over 24 hours now and a FA smashes a glass on top on the side table. Tiny shards of glass go everywhere; all over me, my electronics, the little blanket, my seat and the floor.  She doesn’t apologise or say anything and goes away.  I start collecting the larger pieces of glass before trying to find all the little splinters (some of which I found with my fingers) and she eventually comes back with a dustpan and brush to sweep up the mess.

I’m so done with this fucking transit… I ate half my sandwich (which turned out to be served on such stodgy, two-inch thick focaccia that I couldn’t even get my mouth around it), popped a Valium and tried to go to sleep and forget the whole fucking mess.  After I woke up some four hours later, the Cabin Manager came over and introduced herself and thanked me for being a loyal customer – all very business as usual until my dead pan face and monosyllabic responses seemed to prompt a, ‘We are so sorry for all the delays.’  

At some point people start opening the windows, it looks lovely out there – I’m sure it won’t stay that way seeing we are heading to London. In February.

I didn’t know what to say other than most of my long haul flights last year were with Emirates or Cathay and I’m kinda wishing I was on an Emirates flight right now.  She apologised again and left me alone for the rest of the flight. 

We somehow magically touched down in London at 0920 – not too bad all things considered, only three hours late. Thank fuck it was a Saturday and I wasn’t working today!  I picked a splinter of glass out of my hand as we taxied to the air bridge and I deplaned with that delightful feeling of mal d’ebarquement, coupled with a sleep deprived sensation that people around me were talking underwater.  

I walked away from the whole nightmare as fast as my overtired little body would carry me.  FARK!

Further edit: Oh Qaint-arse… are you guys gonna regret sending me this!

J5 Transit back home

Time to say farewell to our gorgeous onsen suite and start the trek home. Japan is only a 9 hour flight so it doesn’t feel as never ending as a Europe or US transit, thank fuck! The end of a trip is always kinda sad, but I’m always so grateful to have been able to come and see these gorgeous towns and the beautiful scenery and enjoy the lovely food and the break from the usual routine.

As we are packing, Mr K says to me: ‘You could stay a little longer if you want to…’ Fuck! Now he tells me! Maybe next time I totally should, I could see myself tootling around another couple of ryokans or tootling about with the Messrs Stokes who are in Kyoto. Oh well, too late to change plans now.

We had a few errands lined up to deal with on the way from Hakone to Haneda, but it should be a pretty chill day hopefully – only about a 90 min drive and one we’ve done before. So fingers crossed everything goes smoothly. First to Odawara to the nearest Donki to try and find some weirdnesses to add to this year’s Christmas gifting. 🙂

Sorry, SirLee – I don’t have you in the Christmas draw this year or I would have bought a couple of bottles of ridiculously cheap whiskey. I do have one of my nieces though…. 😀 Vanilla caramel spermatozoons! What’s not to love? They even promise to make you look great on social media! 🙂

I just… what? I’ve forgotten what shopping in Japan is like.

Total retail regret: should have bought this strange strawberry heart shaped pillow home with me; even though it would have been a struggle to fit it in the luggage somewhere. 😉 It was super cute and very Japan.

I’ve been out of the cities for too long… everything feels like an assault on the senses. From the traffic lights talking to me, to the escalators and their musical singing/warnings, to just walking past some random Hello Kitty machine that is nattering in an overly kawaii voice trying to get us to buy popcorn! Argh! Take me back to the peace and quiet of the onsen towns.

Our drive to Haneda Gardens was marked by one traffic jam after another. Like seriously, our 90 min drive turned into more like 3 hours plus, in total. Once we got onto the interchanges is when the fun started… the fuel light came on in the car, and both of us really needing a Happy Room! With 27kms to drive, and the car saying we had about 36kms worth of fuel, we were desperately looking for a petrol station. Lord knows the Happy Room was likely going to be out of the question, we had passed numerous konbini before we hit the interchanges but then there was nothing but noise barriers fencing us in. If we left the highway, we could have been driving around for ages looking for fuel, and this close to the city, konbinis with car parks gets to be few and far between.

We managed to limp all the way to Haneda and turn off where we needed to on the sniff of an oily rag… range anxiety was relieved when we found a fuel station (fortuitously the one closest to our car hire return place later!), and very unexpectedly – they had a Happy Room for customers (most petrol stations here do not). Feeling much happier in spite of our 90min turned 180min drive, we made our way to Haneda Gardens to meet Yale for some late lunch before we could return the car and go check in.

When we got there – we were surprised by a show of super cars in the car park! Wow! There’s some serious money here!

Inside was an even more choice selection of fancy cars inside.

But no time to dilly dally, it’s now 3pm and sushi lunch was waiting. Favourite Haneda Gardens sushi restaurant inserted here so I can find it for next time we are in need of a sushi fix before heading to the airport!. Tsukiji Sushiko Takumi… I won’t ever remember that!

Yale chose the Uber plate of all the things.

I tried the All Tuna All the Ways nigiri platter…

Mr K had his favourite tempura donburi, and a savoury steam custard with roe and smelt and all good things.

Several beers and a good catch up later and we were soon ready to repack some final things and make our way to the airport for the overnight flight home. Mr K dropped us to the airport and then took the car back, and met us back on the concourse.

We front up to the Business check in, and I ask the lady if Yale’s business upgrade request had been successful – and sadly it had not been. So we checked our bags (three of them: 2 x 25kgs and 1 x 10kg bag), in what must be our lightest ever return from Japan. Mr K then asked the lovely staff member if he could take home a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne that we never got around to drinking because there is so much affordable quality saké everywhere… unsurprising that! Sadly, and very predictably, she said it would be taken off us at security, so he handed it to her with a flourish and said, “Happy Birthday, we hope you enjoy this!” And off we went towards security and the JAL lounges.

Security turned into a trial… I’m rolling my eyes here, but here is a actual copy of a text I sent to a friend while waiting for the guys to sort their shit:

Oh my god… I can’t transit with these two ADHD squirrel-brained fuckers at the same time! 😵
One had a 500ml can of 196 in his carry-on so they pulled him out of the line… while he simultaneously misplaced his smart watch and had to hunt through hand luggage that looked like it was packed by a bipolar raccoon to find where he’d stashed the damned thing barely two minutes earlier! The other had six very teeny (but very stabby!) steel souvenir forks in his backpack 🙄 and we had to wait another five minutes while he rifled though that backpack which also looked like it was packed by some sort of escaped rabid lab monkey! And I’m sitting there thinking, “Seriously MFers?!” 😐 I’m the one with the titanium knee and the only one not causing dramas at security!”

Preserved for posterity!

The JAL First Class Lounge was busy, and not as calm or as nice as the one at Narita… but we no complain: saké on tap and sushi delivered to your table (though I was no longer hungry after the tuna on tuna platter earlier. It had been an unexpectedly warm day, so showers and cool drinks were much appreciated no matter what. The lounge is very stylish in a Japan meets Scandinavian minimalism kinda way.

I loved this wall near the shower corridors… it’s covered in nails and each nail has a round token hanging from it creating a design that is obviously Fuji in JAL colours.

Damn, forgot to photograph the hair dryer. 😉

Yale managed to try most of the menu… I was just keen to rehydrate and get ready to take some drugs and hopefully sleep the night away.

So, being in the lounge getting ready to fly home, of course my mind was wandering to the next trip… and I don’t mean the cruise to NZ in January (or the weekend popover to Auckland next weekend), I mean, we are back in Japan next May for the Transport and Mobility expo at Osaka 2025. I’m hoping to tack on a few days in Hokkaido, as Mr K is keen to sus out the integrated transport options for the Shinkansen between Hakodate and Aomori. Anyway… got me wondering what the mascot for Hokkaido was… and it’s this strange ‘round moss head dude’ who is always depicted with a huge package! Marimakkori is his name. I feel like photographing him with small children is almost as bad as getting a pic of your kid with Pedo-Bear… oh wait, who would do that? Right, we would.

Big dong Marimakkori! Then I saw this cartoon of him and was wondering… are those? No, surely not!

Thankfully the translation proved it to be not as obscene as it could have been! But, Japan – you never know what to expect. Point in case*:

* I can neither confirm nor deny whether I may or may not have been the one who set his Messenger nick to that at some point on this trip. LOL.

Before too long, it was time to board, and Mr K and I went straight in with our Group 1 boarding fanciness. Sadly, Yale was in cattle having missed out on his upgrade. I felt so bad, all 5’ nothing of me in the front, and 6’9” of him in the back… but as I was walking down the gangway, I saw he was held up. The ladies at the boarding switched out his boarding pass and he was given the very last seat in the business cabin after all! I wonder if it was that bottle of Moët & Chandon that won the day! 🙂

Yale looking very happy with his unexpected and very last minute wash!

We were offered a late supper, which given I hadn’t eaten in the lounge was welcome – though I have to say, the quality of the Qantas Japanese set meal seems to have gone down from last year. I can’t honestly say if it’s just my impression because we have been eating fabulous and delicious kaiseki meals on this trip, or whether it really has slipped a bit. I know Qantas domestic meals have definitely been a bit on the ordinary since Vanessa took over, (and as a shareholder I heartily approve of cost cutting measures, but as a consumer of the product, I’m all like: “Fuck you!”), so it’s possible that it’s not as good as I recall.

Flight was uneventful, no stinky feet, no crying children, not even any snoring businessmen!

Early storms in Sydney caused delays for our flight, but we made it back to Brisbane by about midday… and were met with gloriously blue skies and 29°C at home.

Hopefully, I’ll find time for a nap, and then Hatsune Miku tonight! 🙂

Transit day again – Japan!

Off adventuring again. A few days hanging out in Hakon with Yale before Mr K comes over and we get stuck into some work and some serious onsen hopping. Having this trip booked has been MAJOR motivation to stick to the rehab program on my knee and make sure I am ambulant enough for this.

Hmmm Qantas slacking off on the menu again. Lane Lois Blanc de Blanc is the sparkling wine on offer atm, and I made the mistake of noting the step down from the Grant Burge to Yale, who relayed it to his wine-snob friend, Gamer. Gamer who immediately started hanging shit on me for preferring Grant Burge! Yes, I do! To this swill… but only because it isn’t the Vintage Dom Perginon I’ve become accustomed to on Emirates flights this year! Sheeesh. When I asked when we were coming over to raid Gamer’s wine racks, I noticed he backed down pretty quick!

Made it into the Qantas First Class Lounge in Sydney and thankfully, there was some superior French offerings here… a bit of Pommeray and Tattinger. Phew that was close!

I only had some nuts with my wine on the plane, so had some salt and pepper calamari and tried a mushroom dish. Tasty, and they serve you so quickly here, which is nice.

2A.. it’s my favourite in the A330. Closer to the window than the aisle. Yes, even in business class there are ‘better seats’ on the ‘right side of the plane’.

More champagne, yes please.

Pyjamas for the people…

The Japanese set meals on the flights to and from Japan last year were really nice… this one was a little on the ordinary side. I was wondering if maybe it’s because it was prepped in Australia rather than Japan. I guess we will get a chance to compare with the meal on the way home.

Still very pretty presentation though – and there’s saké so we aren’t writing complaint letters just yet!

Arrived safely in Japan! Oh no… it’s stupid early in the morning and we can’t pick up our hire care for hours yet. But, guess who skipped breakfast so we could hunt down some breakfast sushi! This chick. Not my first 0600 arrival in Haneda! 🙂

Oh dear god – how much trouble are we going to get into!

Okay, it’s official. There are ZERO ‘on-airport’ rental cars at Haneda airport. In fact, I’m not sure the companies operating from here understand the concept, because they will tell you they are ‘on-airport’ but you’ll find they mean, ‘yeah, there’s a desk cut you’re going to need to take a shuttle to collect a vehicle’, which will e somewhere in a nearby industrial neighbourhood. Oh well, guess that means we can stop hunting for ‘on-airport’ rentals in future. Hired this cute little Nissan Kicks… nice little car actually.

The drive to Yugawara onsen, which was down the coast past Yokohama… overcast and moody.

First things first though… it’s not a road trip in Japan until your first visit to the konbini, and because it was cool and overcast (compared to Brisbane at least) that means, sweet caramel tea and curry bread! 😀 Curry bread quota: no more than one per week in country. That’s a hard rule!

“Don’t judge crime!”… but why not?

We didn’t have much of a wander around before making our way to our ryokan. We were tired, and both hoping to check in a little early… can’t wait to slip into the onsen with a saké!

Frankfurt and out!

We had deliberately stayed in Nordlingden last night so we could have a last night in a quaint little medieval town rather that a large city. I’m sure Frankfurt has plenty to explore and see, but the odds we’ll be back here are probably higher than in the tiny medieval village we got to stroll around last night. The drive to Frankfurt wasn’t particularly long, though it was punctuated by plenty of roadworks and quite a lot of heavy traffic – being a Sunday afternoon there seemed to be plenty of locals returning from the lakes areas to the city after a weekend of ‘wandern, schwimmen und grillen am see’. Still the weather was bright and clear and there are worse places to be spending a few hours on the road than a German autobahn.

Frankfurt is a fairly large central German city on the Maim river (often called Frankfurt am Maim) and is quite the major financial hub. While the alstadt is known to be quite beautiful, it is also known to be quite touristy as there are not a huge amount of major tourist attractions in Frankfurt, and most visitors are here for work purposes. Frankfurt was a city state once upon a time and known as the Free City of Frankfurt for nearly five centuries. It was one of the most well known and important cities in the Holy Roman Empire – it was the location of the empire’s Imperial coronations for all that time, but eventually lost its sovereignty when the empire collapsed in 1806. It briefly regained statehood in 1815 but lost it again when it was annexed by the Kingdom of Prussia. Since the end of WWII in 1945, Frankfurt has been part of the state of Hesse – the capital of Hesse in fact – in modern Germany.

Like many of the cities we have been visiting, Frankfurt was extensively bombed in WWII, and had some concentration camps satellite to the city that housed mostly young women in forced labour camps. About 6000 Frankfurt residents were killed and the famous medieval city centre, which ast the time was one of the largest city centres in Germany was almost completely destroyed. About 40% of all buildings in Frankfurt were reduced to rubble. At the end of the war in March 1945, the Allied forces advanced into Frankfurt to take the city in an extended urban combat over several days of intense fighting before the German military eventually retreated.

The Römerburg makerplace in the Alstadt… most of these timber houses are reconstructions of the medieval buildings that were here prior to WWII.

The Frankenfurter Dom or Frankfurt Cathedral (also known as the Imperial Dome of Saint Bartholomew) is one of those cathedrals that the city surrounding it has crept up to its doors and you can’t step back to get a good look at the facade. It is the largest place of worship in Frankfurt and is a Roman Catholic Church. The first church on this site dates from the 7thC and this structure was completed in 1550s and underwent significant reconstruction in the 1990s. In theory the city of Frankfurt secularised the church, but it is still largely at the disposal of the Catholic Church (no idea how that works exactly – I think it gets maintained by the city but is mostly utilised by the Catholic church and sometimes by Lutheran church as well?).

It’s built in the high gothic style of the 14th-15th centuries with gorgeous vaulted ceilings and stained glass. It has gone through numerous reconstructions, including a severe fire in the 1860s, and of course damage during the bombing raids of WWII. It’s renown for it’s distinctive red sandstone construction.

There appear to be a wide variety of interesting artworks scattered thought out the cathedral – heraldic achievements, altarpieces, fonts, frescoes, but scant little information available on any of it… in German or in English. Even googling up info on the artworks in the Frankfurt Cathedral now is revealing very little. I have a suspicion most of the pieces here are reproductions.

I don’t particularly enjoy walking through these historically important sites surrounded by what look like artistically important works and not being able to accurately identify any provenance for any given piece. It feels like you’re getting only half of an impression of what you are looking at…

Anyway, due to the lack of information and context, we were not in the Cathedral very long; before we knew it it was time to start out transit back to the airport and then it would be time for the long transit home.

Thankfully the transit home was way less eventful than on the way over!

Up In The Air… Again.

Alright, I am seriously getting way too comfortable at the pointy end of the plane… so much so I dread the day that I find myself having to long haul in the back again! Emirates really are a cut above with their First Class product too, which I am sure isn’t helping matters. You get a cosy little private suite, a 32” TV, a minibar, a basket of high end snackage, and on a la crate dining whenever you want… which is great if you load in the middle of the night and all you immediately want to do is nap – no need to wait through a noisy meal service.

The decor and ambiance is also really classy – as you would hope… it’s lovely having the little door to block the light and let you get comfy in privacy.

First things first, is the vintage Dom Perignon champagne, and as much of it as you like! Seriously good stuff if you like the bubbles – I believe it retails at home between AUD$450-$600 a bottle depending on the year, which is just nuts. The chef will prepare an off menu amuse bouche before every meal, which is always something interesting.

Even just a cup of tea comes with fine china and a couple of premium biscuits.

Sadly, Angus’ QFF points don’t stretch to this type of upgrade, but he did enjoy visiting.

The fully flat lay down bed is the best thing about BC, in First, it’s taken to a new level; easily another 5” wider, and a mattress topper laid over the bed makes it firm, comfy and breathable. I’ve never slept so well in the air.

Before we landed, Angus came and joined me for a while, so we could deplane together to go to the Emirates First Class Lounge… we had a greeter come and collect us and lead us through some back hallways in Dubai Airport so that we could reach the lounge with the minimum amount of touch points!

After our layover which was about three hours – plenty of time for Angus to have a good meal (Wagyu burger for breakfast, kiddo? Really?), and for us both to go have a shower and relax for a while, we loaded for our onward journey to Frankfurt.

This time I was the only customer in the FC cabin… but it took me a moment to realise this – the staff were super attentive without being intrusive, and the Dom was still flowing freely. When I noticed that I was the only person being topped up, I told them to let me know when that bottle was empty as I really didn’t need to drink an entire bottle of champagne – but I most certainly didn’t need to cracking into a second one, or I’d be paying for that later for sure!

The caviar service, as always is superb and extremely generous – and if you run out and still have blinis or bread remaining, they will happily bring you another generous dollop of the good stuff! I think this is rapidly becoming one of my happy places… here and soaking in a private onsen in Japan somewhere. 😀

Easily 50gms of caviar in each serve… which is about AUD$200+ a serve at home.

Filling up on caviar meant I decided to skip a main meal and a few hours later, about mid-flight, I opted for some sliders. It was around this point the champagne had been emptied and Julia the FA offered me a cocktail. She had heard my request not to open another bottle but offered me a Kir… which sounded like just the thing. Stupidly, I thought, they’ll open some Moet or something for that surely. Nope, they cracked a second bottle of Dom and dumped cassis in it! So one glass of Kir, and I was back on the Dom!

Best cheese plate I’ve ever had in the air. If you were a big eater, you could stuff yourself silly on the amazing menu options, and I am sure some people do.

Quick selfie as we were arriving in Frankfurt… all rosy cheeked from a bottle and a half of Dom over the last 7 hours! Woo!