J5 Transit back home

Time to say farewell to our gorgeous onsen suite and start the trek home. Japan is only a 9 hour flight so it doesn’t feel as never ending as a Europe or US transit, thank fuck! The end of a trip is always kinda sad, but I’m always so grateful to have been able to come and see these gorgeous towns and the beautiful scenery and enjoy the lovely food and the break from the usual routine.

As we are packing, Mr K says to me: ‘You could stay a little longer if you want to…’ Fuck! Now he tells me! Maybe next time I totally should, I could see myself tootling around another couple of ryokans or tootling about with the Messrs Stokes who are in Kyoto. Oh well, too late to change plans now.

We had a few errands lined up to deal with on the way from Hakone to Haneda, but it should be a pretty chill day hopefully – only about a 90 min drive and one we’ve done before. So fingers crossed everything goes smoothly. First to Odawara to the nearest Donki to try and find some weirdnesses to add to this year’s Christmas gifting. 🙂

Sorry, SirLee – I don’t have you in the Christmas draw this year or I would have bought a couple of bottles of ridiculously cheap whiskey. I do have one of my nieces though…. 😀 Vanilla caramel spermatozoons! What’s not to love? They even promise to make you look great on social media! 🙂

I just… what? I’ve forgotten what shopping in Japan is like.

Total retail regret: should have bought this strange strawberry heart shaped pillow home with me; even though it would have been a struggle to fit it in the luggage somewhere. 😉 It was super cute and very Japan.

I’ve been out of the cities for too long… everything feels like an assault on the senses. From the traffic lights talking to me, to the escalators and their musical singing/warnings, to just walking past some random Hello Kitty machine that is nattering in an overly kawaii voice trying to get us to buy popcorn! Argh! Take me back to the peace and quiet of the onsen towns.

Our drive to Haneda Gardens was marked by one traffic jam after another. Like seriously, our 90 min drive turned into more like 3 hours plus, in total. Once we got onto the interchanges is when the fun started… the fuel light came on in the car, and both of us really needing a Happy Room! With 27kms to drive, and the car saying we had about 36kms worth of fuel, we were desperately looking for a petrol station. Lord knows the Happy Room was likely going to be out of the question, we had passed numerous konbini before we hit the interchanges but then there was nothing but noise barriers fencing us in. If we left the highway, we could have been driving around for ages looking for fuel, and this close to the city, konbinis with car parks gets to be few and far between.

We managed to limp all the way to Haneda and turn off where we needed to on the sniff of an oily rag… range anxiety was relieved when we found a fuel station (fortuitously the one closest to our car hire return place later!), and very unexpectedly – they had a Happy Room for customers (most petrol stations here do not). Feeling much happier in spite of our 90min turned 180min drive, we made our way to Haneda Gardens to meet Yale for some late lunch before we could return the car and go check in.

When we got there – we were surprised by a show of super cars in the car park! Wow! There’s some serious money here!

Inside was an even more choice selection of fancy cars inside.

But no time to dilly dally, it’s now 3pm and sushi lunch was waiting. Favourite Haneda Gardens sushi restaurant inserted here so I can find it for next time we are in need of a sushi fix before heading to the airport!. Tsukiji Sushiko Takumi… I won’t ever remember that!

Yale chose the Uber plate of all the things.

I tried the All Tuna All the Ways nigiri platter…

Mr K had his favourite tempura donburi, and a savoury steam custard with roe and smelt and all good things.

Several beers and a good catch up later and we were soon ready to repack some final things and make our way to the airport for the overnight flight home. Mr K dropped us to the airport and then took the car back, and met us back on the concourse.

We front up to the Business check in, and I ask the lady if Yale’s business upgrade request had been successful – and sadly it had not been. So we checked our bags (three of them: 2 x 25kgs and 1 x 10kg bag), in what must be our lightest ever return from Japan. Mr K then asked the lovely staff member if he could take home a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne that we never got around to drinking because there is so much affordable quality saké everywhere… unsurprising that! Sadly, and very predictably, she said it would be taken off us at security, so he handed it to her with a flourish and said, “Happy Birthday, we hope you enjoy this!” And off we went towards security and the JAL lounges.

Security turned into a trial… I’m rolling my eyes here, but here is a actual copy of a text I sent to a friend while waiting for the guys to sort their shit:

Oh my god… I can’t transit with these two ADHD squirrel-brained fuckers at the same time! 😵
One had a 500ml can of 196 in his carry-on so they pulled him out of the line… while he simultaneously misplaced his smart watch and had to hunt through hand luggage that looked like it was packed by a bipolar raccoon to find where he’d stashed the damned thing barely two minutes earlier! The other had six very teeny (but very stabby!) steel souvenir forks in his backpack 🙄 and we had to wait another five minutes while he rifled though that backpack which also looked like it was packed by some sort of escaped rabid lab monkey! And I’m sitting there thinking, “Seriously MFers?!” 😐 I’m the one with the titanium knee and the only one not causing dramas at security!”

Preserved for posterity!

The JAL First Class Lounge was busy, and not as calm or as nice as the one at Narita… but we no complain: saké on tap and sushi delivered to your table (though I was no longer hungry after the tuna on tuna platter earlier. It had been an unexpectedly warm day, so showers and cool drinks were much appreciated no matter what. The lounge is very stylish in a Japan meets Scandinavian minimalism kinda way.

I loved this wall near the shower corridors… it’s covered in nails and each nail has a round token hanging from it creating a design that is obviously Fuji in JAL colours.

Damn, forgot to photograph the hair dryer. 😉

Yale managed to try most of the menu… I was just keen to rehydrate and get ready to take some drugs and hopefully sleep the night away.

So, being in the lounge getting ready to fly home, of course my mind was wandering to the next trip… and I don’t mean the cruise to NZ in January (or the weekend popover to Auckland next weekend), I mean, we are back in Japan next May for the Transport and Mobility expo at Osaka 2025. I’m hoping to tack on a few days in Hokkaido, as Mr K is keen to sus out the integrated transport options for the Shinkansen between Hakodate and Aomori. Anyway… got me wondering what the mascot for Hokkaido was… and it’s this strange ‘round moss head dude’ who is always depicted with a huge package! Marimakkori is his name. I feel like photographing him with small children is almost as bad as getting a pic of your kid with Pedo-Bear… oh wait, who would do that? Right, we would.

Big dong Marimakkori! Then I saw this cartoon of him and was wondering… are those? No, surely not!

Thankfully the translation proved it to be not as obscene as it could have been! But, Japan – you never know what to expect. Point in case*:

* I can neither confirm nor deny whether I may or may not have been the one who set his Messenger nick to that at some point on this trip. LOL.

Before too long, it was time to board, and Mr K and I went straight in with our Group 1 boarding fanciness. Sadly, Yale was in cattle having missed out on his upgrade. I felt so bad, all 5’ nothing of me in the front, and 6’9” of him in the back… but as I was walking down the gangway, I saw he was held up. The ladies at the boarding switched out his boarding pass and he was given the very last seat in the business cabin after all! I wonder if it was that bottle of Moët & Chandon that won the day! 🙂

Yale looking very happy with his unexpected and very last minute wash!

We were offered a late supper, which given I hadn’t eaten in the lounge was welcome – though I have to say, the quality of the Qantas Japanese set meal seems to have gone down from last year. I can’t honestly say if it’s just my impression because we have been eating fabulous and delicious kaiseki meals on this trip, or whether it really has slipped a bit. I know Qantas domestic meals have definitely been a bit on the ordinary since Vanessa took over, (and as a shareholder I heartily approve of cost cutting measures, but as a consumer of the product, I’m all like: “Fuck you!”), so it’s possible that it’s not as good as I recall.

Flight was uneventful, no stinky feet, no crying children, not even any snoring businessmen!

Early storms in Sydney caused delays for our flight, but we made it back to Brisbane by about midday… and were met with gloriously blue skies and 29°C at home.

Hopefully, I’ll find time for a nap, and then Hatsune Miku tonight! 🙂

Hakone Part II

There is quite a lot to do in the Hakone area, last time I was here, I went to the Open Air Museum, the Venetian Glass Museum and had driven around from Atami through the mountain pursuing views of Fujisan. This time, we were in Hakone proper – down town to taste the delights; and I mean ‘taste’ quite literally. Hakone has become rather Insta-famous for its local food offerings.

The Haya River that we followed all the way down from Nishiyama yesterday.

More Hakone marquetry… it’s everywhere and I love it and want to take it all home, but I know the minute it leaves here and I attempt to juxtapose these things into my home, it will feel out of place, and I will wonder why I bought it. So I was restrained and didn’t buy any kitchen trays, or coasters, or a tissue box cover, or desk set items. Very mindful. Very demure. Very 2024…

Recontextualised Kokeshi dolls… Star Wars. Made me wonder though : where are the shelves of Pokémon cross over Kokeshi?

The whole main drag of Hakone is shops and famous snacks, shops and famous snacks. One of the most iconic (and Instagram’d) snacks are the Castella-yaki Hakone Manju mini-cakes made by Kikukawa Shoten… try saying that five times fast after a bottle or two of saké. They are a small western-style manju cake – a lightly sweetened sponge cake encasing a white bean paste, stamped with a cute onsen symbol and literally saying ‘Hakone’. The machine making these was really quite neat, loads of people were video’ing the machine working, and taking photos of themselves eating their fresh and warm ¥80 manju cake. Yes, these things are so famous everyone who comes here buys one to put on their socials, and they are still only AUD$0.80 each.

Further up the street is a hippy dippy crystal shop – you can’t seem to get away from these. They are in every corner of the globes… I’ll have to tell Col Dazzles it’s here – he loves these places.

Japanese Dango snacks – sticky savoury rice dumplings on a stick. They come in a bunch of different flavours and are cooked over charcoal… we thought we would try the miso walnut flavour.

Oishii! Miso-y, walnut-y, gooey goodness… also comes in sesame and onsen flavours? No idea what ‘onsen’ flavours are, but if it’s kinda local sulphuric goodness, no thanks!

This guy was in this box all day, packing soba noodles into small packages for sale. I’m not sure why he had to be in a box like a zoo exhibit, but man he was quick with his task.

Daruma cups… cranky faced Daruma. I like him (he ended up coming home with us).

Kamaboko is another type of Hakone local snackage – it’s a type of fish cake made from processed fish paste. They’re very popular and we have seen kamaboko appearing in our breakfasts in particular over the last few ryokans. They’re apparently a specific produce known from this region (Hakone, Odawara, Numazu) – there’s even a museum around here somewhere showing how they’re made. And like all things in Japan, anything worth doing is worth doing excessively well, or artistically. Here they have definitely raised their kamaboko fish paste snacks into an art form!

We decided to have a a late lunch today as we planned to skip dinner. And planned to do so in two stages – because I wanted sushi, and Mr K wanted tempura or a donburi. So first, we found a little izakaya where Mr K could find something yummy to suit his preference, and in a couple of hours, we are going to hunt down some sashimi for me.

Of course, while I was there ostensibly to make sure Mr K got himself some tempura and donburi or similar, I did have time to get myself a wee bottle of Hakone Mountain saké and some super rare, wagyu nigiri… nice entree to my sushi later! I love how they always assume I need two cups with my saké even when Mr K has ordered a beer! 😛

Mr K managed to find himself a pork tonkatsu and some nice fresh chicken karaage. After Lunch Stage 1, we kept wandering the street checking out all the shops… saw this awesome foot bath just outside a random shop selling condiments and sauces! Love it!

I think cooling foot baths would go down a treat in downtown Brisbane in mid-summer, but if you saw a public water feature like this at home and put your feet in it, you’d likely get a talking to by the cops!

It was very overcast today and I was hoping things would clear for when we caught up with the Messrs Stokes tomorrow. It would be rather sad to not get any good views of Fuji in, but we can’t control the weather – and while we couldn’t see the mountain, I was enjoying the moody atmosphere it created in the town.

Lunch Stage II: Nakamuraya Sushi… great menu, obviously used to tourists who can’t make up their mind. Slightly expensive compared to seaside towns on the west coast, but oh so fresh and delicious!

Another wee bottle of saké, though this time it’s was some mystery junmai that the landlady chose. I didn’t even ask! Wasn’t the cheapest on the menu, wasn’t the dearest either. 🙂

Mr K’s pickle baby nori rolls, and I ordered the Supreme sashimi bowl – complete with salmon, tuna, fatty tuna, scallop, ebi, uni, unagi, mackerel, yellow tail, cuttlefish, cod roe and god knows what else! Amazingly fresh, delicate and absolutely delicious! This is going to ruin sushi for me for at least the next six months in Australia! Oh wait.. in six months, we will be back. Brilliant! Carry on…

After a bit of a wander around the town some more, I told Mr K that we had to stop for a famous Hakone Terimisu ice cream… we had come past here earlier in the day and there was literally a packed rope line keeping patrons in line to buy their famous Terimisu ice creams. Now, I fucking hate coffee, but Mr K loves it, so *shrug* he took one for the team so I could take a pic of just one more iconic Hakone snack. Please note, none of the Insta-snackables actually ended up on Instagram. 😀

The hardships of it all! I did buy some strawberry and brandy flavoured puddings to take back to the hotel tonight – given we are skipping dinner tonight in favour of Lunch in Two Parts, some light puddings might be nice after the onsen later!

Hakone is really pretty – it feels rural, a bit like all the other little onsen towns we have been visiting, but it also feels a bit like Montville or Leura in the Blue Mountains, in that it is so heavily touristed, it feels like a totally fabricated place for the local city dwellers to get away to, to kid themselves that they’ve actually gotten away from Tokyo for a bit.

Managed to find a really nicely stocked saké shop so I could buy a few small selections to add to the ume-plum/pity saké I had bought in Minakami to share with ColDazzles when he arrives – apparently he isn’t into saké… Yet! But we have plenty of time to bring him around to the rice side! 🍶

Great selection.

We expected to see way more tanukis now we were back out of the Gunma region as they have been really prevalent when we were down this way before, but sadly, not many to be found until I spotted this 3’ cutie.

After this, it was back to the ryokan, and we will be back to a bit of Saturday morning sightseeing tomorrow.

Met up with the Messrs Stokes after they had what sounds like a trying morning of trains and no taxis. There’s a lot to be said for studying the public transport from ann objective distance! First stop after we got them settle was to head off for the Hakone-jinja shrine. Sadly, it was a lot more overcast than I had hoped, I don’t think we will see the mountain peeking through today.

The Hakone-jinja shrine dates to 757AD. Military commanders used to come to this shrine to pray which is what initially brought it nationwide fame. Another popular group of people who would come worship at this shrine were travellers and pilgrims who would come to pray for safe travels. Nowadays the shrine’s ’Heiwa no Torii’, or Red Gate of Peace which stands proudly tall out towards the Lake Ashinkoko has become a ridiculously Insta-worthy tourist spot… people line up here literally for HOURS to get their selfies in front of the torii gate. HOURS! I can’t fathom it when you have limited time in town.

When we arrived there were groups and groups of tourists lining up for their chance for a selfie, and it looked like it might be impossible to get a shot without anyone in it. A group of six Chinese tourists had just scurried into prime photo position and started taking their pictures of each other in small and large groups when I struck up a conversation with three Americans from Michigan who were next in line… I asked them if I might have 30 seconds to take some photos with no one in front of the gate, before they moved in. They were happy to let us take a moment, and in return I offered to take some group pics of the three of them together. What a zoo, though! These girls had waited an hour and twenty minutes for their photos in front of the gate; seriously, the weather is making for very average light for selfies in front of the gate, I don’t get it. 😮

More pirate ships. Fuji in the background all covered in clouds.

After a brief stop at the shrine, we made our way to the Hakone Checkpoint – but first a Tea Cup. But not just any Tea Cup, this one had a Great Wall of Saké. Amazing! 🤩

Felt just like being back in Takayama… I could have spent an hour here trying all the saké, but with one minor in tow, we kept moving.

The Hakone Checkpoint was originally an inspection facility during the Edo Period (1603-1868) which was designed to help keep Edo safe (Tokyo, as was). It was considered the major checkpoint for all parts of Japan, and there was a network of as many as fifty checkpoints across the country across the period. Nearly all the checkpoints were abandoned well before the 1860s. There is a lot of information here on the reconstructed Checkpoint itself, how it was constructed, what kind of tools and techniques were used to rebuild the medieval buildings, and how it was completed using authentic methods in 2007.

It took a little bit more digging to figure out what this checkpoint was actually used for. Turns out it was primarily a point used to control the proliferation of firearms (fair enough), and to patrol and control women attempting to escape Edo and their horrid arranged marriages (fuckers). Women have been put upon in every culture in every corner of the globe for ever.

The six meter-high Kyoguchi Gomon gates.

Sadly there were not a lot of plaques with English available for translation, and the ones I did translate seemed more to be about the reconstruction of the site rather than the period use of the site.

Diorama showing the women attempting to escape Edo being inspected – reminded me of traversing Pakistani customs!

The site of the checkpoint is really quite beautiful by the lake, definitely a nice spot to stop and enjoy the natural surroundings. Each summer, large fireworks festivals are held on the lake that set off tens of thousands of fireworks with Fuji in the background, and attract loads of visitors.

After our potter around the checkpoint, we head for a quick spot of lunch and then head back to our ryokan for the evening.

Nishiyama to Hakone

We had a rather long transit day today… because our visit to Keiukan had taken us somewhat out of our way, but I was looking forward to stopping along the way to get some photographs of the beautiful scenery we had driven in past the evening before. The Haya River is extremely picturesque… so apologies in advance for the barrage of photographs. Not really sorry.

Driving through the twisting mountain roads that line the river, there is often no where to stop at all, except perhaps at small maintenance pull over areas before and after bridges… so we got kinda loose with it, and pulled over where we could and just popped the hazards on while I was jumping in and out to take photos. Mr K is already known to the police – I’m sure they wouldn’t be surprised if he was pulled up for parking illegally. 🙂

Saw this very sturdy looking suspension bridge and walked a short way out on it to see if I could get some nice photos down the river… though I did take the time to translate a sign in case it was telling me that it was private property or something. Nope, all good – I don’t have a fishing license, but also, no intention to fish!

I really enjoy driving through these mountainous highways – it’s slow going, the speed limits are low for obvious reasons, and you night only be going 250kms for the day, but it will take you all day because of the slow speeds, inevitable roadworks and other delays. Thoroughly gorgeous though, so you don’t really care.

The Kotoji Falls (we’d call them a cascade tbh), were named in memory of the love between Gohei (a young man from Narada), and Imoji, a daughter of Yasumura who threw themselves into the Hayakawa River settling their unrequited love (interesting translation). Apparently their two bodies were found lying on top of each other in the pool below.

Another suspension bridge! Only this one felt a little bit less stable than the last one… like swinging wildly and rocking crazily with every step!

I felt really unsteady out on the bridge – might not be the best plan for someone who had a total knee reconstruction about 10 weeks ago and was still a bit iffy on uneven terrain! 😀

Oh, probably should have read this *before* deciding to go walkout on the rickety suspension bridge… I figured it was just warning me about my lack of fishing license again! Good thing I’ve been working on those stability exercises on my new knee!

Tea Cup stop! Bit cold and overcast today so I gave in and found myself a Kirin caramel sweet tea from a vending machine. Two in two weeks isn’t going to cause diabetes is it? I also found what was touted as ‘fried squid’… which was unexpectedly tasty, and not as greasy as the usual fried chicken offerings. Japan doesn’t do meat pies, but they do do their Fami-chicki at every single convenience store.

Saw this poster advertising the Hakone Ropeway that we visited in 2017 to get our first views of Mt Fuji… first views on our second trip. Our first trip to Japan, Mr K, Angus and my mum actually *climbed* Mt Fuji, but never actually saw the top of the mountain as it was in clouds the entire time.

What a beautiful drive full of stunning scenery.

We made it to Hakone by about 3pm… which is where we kept seeing this sign. Thought it was literally a monkey warning – no, just a warning about wildlife in general.

Kamisuwa through Nagano to Toyama

Today we needed to transit from Kamisuwa to Toyama through the Nagano countryside. It started out looking like midsummer in Kamisuwa… but was not to last. I had a feeling this gorgeous weather wasn’t going to last and it turned out I was absolutely right.

Ah, first point of business for the day was finding a Japan Post Office so Mr K could diligently march in and pay his traffic infringement from the weekend. We thought this might have been tricker than we thought – but the JPO is everywhere… only d difficulty proved not having a Japanese address! 😛 Fine paid… cheapest crazy travel story ever. Me in the car: “There’s some snow on those mountains; I bet it’s chilly up there.” #famouslastwordsWe have noticed that Sondora shows us the topographical /literal map of things and sometimes it looks like spaghetti junction, and no sooner does that happen than you get on a highway and it turns into a graphic representation of the destinations rather than a literal visual description (*think of a London Tube map compared to the A-Z).

We passed some beautiful vistas which featured steep cliffs, glacial waters and autumnal foliages. And then suddenly, it was fucking snowing! Mr K says he saw a monkey run across the road in front of us – but I think he was pulling my leg and just wanted to have one up on me. Beautiful!We noted that Sondara was showing some pretty spaghetti/worm like road maps coming up – just what you need when it is unseasonably and unexpectably snowing on what you thought might be a fairly uneventful drive. Then we came out of a tunnel and we were up in the mountains and it was a winter wonderland! OMG – so beautiful. I haven’t seen such gorgeous scenes since we did Christmas in Canada in 2017.It was just so beautiful… We stopped at a Okuhida Onsengo Kamitakara restop which had these weasels everywhere as a mascot – and we expected to find it full of weird Japanese weasel mascots and of course, fried chicken… instead we found :

An amazing display of sake from local breweries! Oh what a shame – I so totally wanted a weasel keychain, and instead walked our with four bottles of saké. Best fails ever. As quickly as we entered into the snowy altitudes we were returned to the autumnal glacial alluvial valleys again. We eventually made our way to the Dormy Inn in Toyama City – which I guess is like an American Holiday Inn or an Australian Rydges… there wasn’t much happening here by the time we arrived quite late in the day, but we did find an nice izakaya open and managed to have a nice fishy dinner. Below: miso crap, sashimi plate (salmon, snapper and yellowtail) and some sea cucumber).

Wolfsschanze – Hitler’s Bunker

Today we were leaving Riga and doing a very Australian road trip in Eastern Europe… that is to say, we were covering about 750kms. Which is not so unusual if you’re in Australia, but is like, long-haul-trucker-crossing-at-least-three-countries, distance if you’re in Europe.  We left Riga around 06:30 and it was pitch black and freezing cold and the streets were eerily quiet.

When the sun finally rise the landscape was beautiful.  Getting off the highway is both a blessing and a curse though. The scenery dramatically improves in what appears to be a direct correlation with how drastically the road conditions deteriorate.  Can’t have beautiful scenery and good roads it seems.  🙂  My high-speed landscape photography hasn’t improved any – but I do insist on doing it!

I think I blinked and missed the Latvia border… Oh, well. Goodbye Lithuania and welcome to Poland! Here, have a disused border building, some indecipherable signage and an immediately discernible downgrade in road quality.   Thankfully, we got to keep the pretty landscapes.

To break up our trip we had decided we would stop just after midday at the Wolf’s Lair. In German known as the ‘Wolfsschanze’.  Basically, this was Hitler’s primary military headquarters on the Eastern Front for nearly three years of World War II.

The drive into the complex is skirted by dense forest, far from major roads and urban areas. Much of the forest surrounding the compound was heavily peppered in landmines during the war, as a defence against ground attacks.  Would have been so pretty and yet so dangerous…Hitler’s Wolf’s Lair complex is enormous – at roughly 6.5 kmit was built by June 1941 to house the nearly 2,000 people who would come to live and work in the compound.  Among the workers were twenty women who were Hitler’s official food tasters, like Margot Wölk. Margot was from a German family, born and raised in Berlin, married a man named Karl who was in the Germany army and she didn’t know if he was dead or alive. She ended up fleeing to Eastern Prussia when their home in Berlin was bombed and basically had no one to look out for her and found herself rounded up by the local mayor for duty as a food taster to Adolf Hitler?! Her story is remarkable if you read a bit further into it.  Hitler’s intelligence sources were informing him that the British were planning an assassination attempt by food poisoning which fed Hitler’s perfectly just fear that people were trying to assassinate him, hence the food tasting team.

(Wilczy Szaniec – Polish for Wolf’s Lair) RSD Command Centre – Reichssicherheitsdienst, a Nazi SS security command post that was responsible for all aspects of security for the complex.
Security was arranged in three concentric circles around the compound:

Security Zone 3 is the first zone encountered when entering the complex. It was the heavily fortified outer security zone which surrounded the two inner areas. It was defended by landmines I already mentioned and by the Führer Begleit Brigade (FBB), a special armoured security unit from Wehrmacht which was used to man multiple guard houses, watchtowers, and entry and exit checkpoints at the three entrance points.

Security Zone 2 was the next concentric circle in from the outer zone.  It housed many lesser Reich Ministers such as Fritz Todt, Albert Speer, and Joachim von Ribbentrop. This zone also had quarters for the various other personnel that lived and worked in the Wolf’s Lair, as well as barracks and amenities for the officers of the RSD.

Security Zone 1 was the inner circle or ‘heart’ of the Wolf’s Lair.  It was encircled by steel fencing and guarded by the Reichssicherheitsdienst (RSD) SS specialists. Inside this zone was Hitler’s Bunker and ten other camouflaged bunkers. Each bunker was constructed from steel-reinforced concrete that was over 2m thick.  The bunkers in this area were for Hitler’s inner circle – including such infamous bastards as Hermann Göring, Martin Bormann,  Wilhelm Keitel, and others.   Nearly all the bunkers seem to have basement air raid shelters or armament storage underneath them. Inside the bunkers were a maze of corridors, conference rooms, workspaces and shelters.
The Wolf’s Lair has several monuments and memorials that have been created to commemorate the people who were associated with this place in WWII, particularly those who did the difficult work of destroying it and making the surrounding areas safe from landmines. Bunker 6 held a conference room that was the site of the 20 July 1944 assassination attempt that was organized by a group of civilians, in cohorts with some acting and retired Wehrmacht officers whose goal was to kill Hitler, end the war, and establish a new Germany government. Staff officer Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg was the primary assassin and he carried a briefcase into what was a daily conference meeting. He was supposed to place it a few feet from where Hitler would hold his meeting, but unfortunately, on the day the attempt was to be made, the meeting location was changed to a different building due to refurbishment happening in the Führer’s Bunker *and* it was rescheduled to be earlier than usual – so the attempt was unsuccessful.  The bomb went off as timed, and the interior of the Bunker 6 was destroyed, four people were killed, but Hitler sustained only slight injuries.

Before the bomb detonated, Colonel Stauffenberg and his co-conspirator, Lieutenant Werner von Haeften, had already left Wolf’s Lair to return to Berlin.  They managed to pass through several of the security zones and after only a short delay at the RSD guard post just outside Zone 1, they were allowed to leave the site by car.  News arrived in Berlin fairly quickly of the assassination attempt, and of Hitler’s survival.  Poor Colonel Von Stauffenberg, his Lieutenant, and several co-conspirators were arrested and shot that same evening outside the Bendlerblock in Berlin.

Reichsmarschall Hermann Göring surveying the conference room that was destroyed by the suitcase bomb left by Claus von Stauffenberg on 20 July 1944

It struck me at Auschwitz-Birkenau and now again at Wolfsschanze just the sheer size and scope of the military industrial complex that was deployed by the Germans during World War II.  It has been as eye-opening as the first time I went to Gallipoli – I had learned about the ANZACS and the Gallipoli military disaster during my formal education and had continued to study and gain knowledge o this topic throughout my entire life. But until I found myself looking down on ANZAC Cove and looking at the topography that the ANZAC diggers were attempting to overcome, the enormity and impossibility of it all did not really become a tangible and concrete concept in my mind.
Likewise, having grown up in the ’70s and having been taught WWII history and continuing to learn more and more about the Holocaust over the years – the displacement and deportation of millions of people throughout Europe, the slave labour and abuses of the concentration camps, and of course the details of the truly horrific attempt to completely exterminate the European Jewish population in death camps – these things too have been academic concepts in my mind without concrete frame of reference to anchor them to.

Now… having seen the enormity and scale of the just a portion of German military operation during WWII (and this has literally just been a small peek at what the Nazis had put in place), it has completely eclipsed my expectations and I am finding it difficult to verbalise just how monstrously immense the scale of their endeavour was, and the ruthless efficiency with which they appear to have attempted to deploy it.   It’s… shocking. Truly shocking.  I don’t know how something I have known about my entire life can be shocking.  But it is.   Bunker 8 was a Guest Bunker and Air Raid Shelter. This enormous slab of concrete weighing who knows how many tonnes, looks like it is precariously balanced on just a few decaying bricks… It’s not difficult to find a sombre beauty in the decay at Pripyat. Likewise, it is not difficult to find incredible textures, decaying walls and moss-covered walls at Wolf’s Lair that are similarly beautiful in their own way.

Bunker 11: Headquarters of Johann Rattenhuber, who was the Chief of the SS and head of Hitler’s security department.  Also, fun fact – his headquarters doubled as the Post Office.  The bunkers were split wide open by explosives when the Red Army reached Eastern Prussia during the Baltic Offensive of 1944. Hitler left Wolf’s Lair for the last time on 20 November 1944 as the Soviet armies advanced.  The Red Army took the site without firing a shot two days later, on the 22nd of November.  Shortly after, directives were issued to destroy the complex and the demolition took place some months later in January 1945.  Literally tonnes of explosives were used.  Each bunker requiring approximately 8,000 kg of TNT to blast through the reinforced concrete. Given that most of these buildings have large portions still intact, even that amount of explosive was only enough to partially destroy these enormous reinforced bunkers.

After that, efforts were started to clear each of the Wolf Lair’s security zones of the landmines that had been left behind.  It took over a decade to clear more than 54,000 mines that had been scattered around the complex and in the security zones and wasn’t given the ‘all clear’ until 1955.

Bunker 13 – Hitler’s personal air raid shelter and bunker.

Each day, Hitler would take a walk alone with his dog at 09:00 in the morning before looking at the mail (which came by air or by train). At 12:00 he would have a situation briefing, which was normally held in Wilhelm Keitel’s or Alfred Jodl’s bunkers. These meetings would usually run for about two hours, after which he would have lunch at 14:00 in the dining hall. Witnesses recall that Hitler was a man of routine and habits and he invariably sat in the same chair, always between Alfred Jodl and Otto Dietrich.  Wilhelm Keitel, Martin Bormann, and Hermann Göring’s personal adjutant, General Karl Bodenschatz would sit opposite him.

After lunch, Hitler would work on non-military matters and in the late afternoon, coffee would be served around 17:00 before a second military briefing with Alfred Jodl at 18:00. Dinner each day would start at 19:30 and could last up to two hours (I can’t stop thinking about the twenty women who were ‘kept’ here as his food tasters!), after which they would often watch films in the cinema. Yes, one of these big bunker style buildings was a cinema – I guess they needed somewhere to watch all those Leni Riefenstahl propaganda films (they also had a gambling hall/casino here in one as well).  Hitler would usually retire to his private quarters where he ‘gave monologues’ to his closest acquaintance, including the two female secretaries who travelled with him to the Wolf’s Lair.  Sometimes Hitler and his entourage would listen to gramophone records after dinner – Beethoven, Wagner or other operas – in what sounds like a very civilized and precise way to go about your day… but in among the seemingly orderly lives that these people lived, here, among in these bunkers, decisions were made that effectively signed the death warrants of millions of people across the whole of Nazi-occupied Europe as it was here the ‘Final Solution’ was developed and implemented.

Looking inside what was Bunker 13 from the rear.

Building 12 – Radio and Telex Buildings Bunker 20 – Martin Bormann’s personal air raid shelter for him and his staff. Bormann was Hitler’s personal secretary. Bunker 16 was a building to house generators to provide power for the complex. Hermann Goering’s Bunker:Walking under the ruins of Goering’s destroyed Bunker. It is cold, damp, and there is lots of thick rebar sticking out at all angles.  Over our heads is a massive – just indescribably, massive and heavy – concrete slab over two metres thick.  There are ‘no entrance’ signs everywhere but plenty of evidence that visitors have been walking through these spaces frequently.

The concrete walls were indeed well thicker than 2-5m…  yale for scale. I had read that this place is not so great to visit in the summer – partly because of the crowds (though it apparently only sees 200,000 visitors a year, which is not that many compared to say, the five million plus visitors that see the Sistine Chapel each year), but also because of the foliage.  In summer all the trees are still covered in their leaves, which obscure the size and shapes of the enormous bunkers.  This was quite deliberate, Hitler was paranoid about the likelihood of an air bombing raid so the thick tree cover in the middle of the forest was designed to camouflage the entire complex.  No major air offensive ever occurred here and it could be because the Western Allies were unaware of the Wolf’s Lair location entirely or were just unaware of its strategic importance – they have never disclosed whether they knew about it or not. The Soviet Red Army was certainly unaware of the complex’s location and scale when they discovered it during their advance towards Germany in late 1944.  So anyway, from the leaf litter which is well over 20cm deep everywhere, I can imagine that in summer you would find it hard to make out the size, scale and even proximity of these buildings to each other, in the summertime. Hermann Goering’s House Ventilation shaft. Recreated checkpoint – there were only three entrances to the complex, and each one had a checkpoint at security zone. As we drove away from the Wolf’s Lair and my speed landscape photography attempted and failed to capture the forest, I couldn’t help but think that this area was once full of 54,000 landmines.  Blurred and chaotic seems to work in this instance. The roads became noticeable worse as we were heading through tiny little villages making out way back to the major highways on our way to Gdansk.  We were hurtling along doing an average of 90kmph on some of the shittiest single lane back roads ever – I was literally holding my boobs some of the way, because I didn’t know I was going to need a sports bra to go for a drive in the countryside!  Mind you, the crap conditions of the road doesn’t slow the locals down one bit – they were overtaking us at alarming breakneck speeds. Honestly – we were doing just over 90kmph when this video was taken…

Eventually, we made our way back to the highway and then had to figure out how to get our car into the centre of Gdansk’s predominantly pedestrianised Old Town where our accommodation, the Aparthotel Neptun, is located. It was a little bit tricksy – you can approach the Old Town from many sides by car, but you can’t drive through the middle of it, so if your stupid GPS sends you to the wrong side and then suggests you drive the 100m to your hotel, right through the middle of people taking an evening stroll down the Long Market, you really need to back out and then fight your way around to try and enter from a different direction.  We only got pulled over by Police, once, so we thought we did okay.We checked in (nice hotel, actually) and then went straight back out again to find some dinner, as lunch was a dodgy service station hotdog many hours and several hundred kilometres ago.  We wandered the Long Market and ended up at a restaurant called the ‘Latający Holender’ where we were met with some of the best food, but worst customer service in Poland… which is saying something really because between here, Krakow, and Warsaw, I don’t think we have met any hospitality or retail staff who were in any way welcoming, hospitable or even a little bit friendly.  It’s kinda to be expected I guess – end of the tourist season, god knows I’d be over the bloody tourists too… but take heed waitpeople – winter is coming, and then we will see who is missing the tourists, their foreign currencies and their tipping habits!

What was I saying?  Dinner.  Right. It was quite good actually and dining out now we are back in Poland, is cheap, cheap, cheap!  I rarely used to photograph food for my blog, but then I found myself saying, ‘What was that thing we tried in Buenos Aires at that restaurant after we went to the place…?’  So now I am making more of an effort – so I can hunt down recipes back home for things we liked too.

After a bit of pfaffing around with tables, ‘Sit wherever you like’… we then take a seat and then it felt like the server was rolling his eyes at us and a ‘Why are they sitting there?’ type attitude ensued..?!  We then waited for nearly ten minutes for menus … about halfway through what seemed an interminably long wait for a menu I said, ‘I think they are hoping we will give up and leave, but they have underestimated my current mood!’  We then waited again for ages to get drinks… part of this sense of waiting stemmed from watching the servers all gathering not far from our table and seemingly hanging out and chatting with each other instead of filling drink orders and seating customers, etc?!  I dunno, the disdain was coming off them in waves – but hopefully not just in our direction.  😛

I ordered for an appetiser – Tiger prawns cooked in butter, onion, chili, fresh parsley, white wine and served with garlic bread… it was pretty fabulous.and yale ordered the Goulash soup – which was rather more watery and somewhat oilier than he had hoped. So that one was a bit hit and miss.For a main, I ordered the Grilled salmon with roasted potatoes, green asparagus, butter sauce and caviar.  Again, lovely though I usually prefer my salmon slightly more medium.
And yale seemed to commit some sort of unwritten ordering faux pas by having the audacity to order two dishes (he’s a big guy, he gets hungry), of Meat Dumplings, stuffed with beef and pork meat, smoked bacon, onion, arugula, and tomatoes.  And a main dish called, Desk of Polish Sausage, comprising of a selection of Polish sausage served with bread, pickled cucumber, mustard and horseradish. Well didn’t the little man have a ‘Two dinners? How could you? Wait, how will I serve them?’ moment over that.  Like I said, weird service.  Great food. A few happy ciders later and we didn’t much care either way for the server’s attitude anyway.  Dinner was nice, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you like being treated like an inconvenience by the staff.  😛

What a long, long day.  Tomorrow – Gdansk!