All on a sesame seed bun.

Posted on July 3, 2012 by borysSNORC

Am I the only person who sees sesame seeds and just HAS to pick them up and squish them between their fingernails? And I don’t mean just picking them up and making them go pop between the nails of your thumb and forefinger… I mean picking them up and putting it on the back of your thumbnail and applying pressure with your other thumbnail until it pops in a manner that is familiar to mother’s the world over who have ever had to groom their child for head lice?

Because there’s this thing you do every time your school sends home a notice saying that some kid has nits. You go through the procedure of checking their heads, checking their heads, checking their heads… and then the day comes when you notice with horror that there is a louse in your kids hair. Whereupon you carry out the following procedure in this order –

1) Freak out and start scratching your own head… because ewww!
2) Douse your poor child’s head with some disgusting toxic chemical concoction
3) Half drown said child trying to wash away the disgusting toxic chemical shit
4) Comb repeatedly with itty bitty painful lice comb until your kids hair is squeaky clean…

All the while continually resisting the urge to keep scratching your own head at the very thought of it.

And if you do happen to find a live one, then you pick it up by dragging it along the length of the hair strand and then it’s trapped between the pad of you thumb and finger… even though lice can’t jump you treat those little buggers like they’re as hard to nail down as fleas because the last thing you want is a louse in your house moving at his own recognizance! You then carefully put it on your left thumbnail and then you squish that little fucker with your right thumbnail until you hear it go pop… because if you don’t – the little blighters don’t die! Btw, if you don’t have kids you have all this to look forward to EVERY summer.

But I digress, because I wasn’t talking about nits, I was talking about my OCD-like compulsion to squish sesame seeds in the same way I squish nit. Am I the only person who does this? Do other people see sesame seeds and leave them to languish in peace on the table cloth? Or do they happily sweep them up and discard of them thoughtfully? Or are there other people out there who, like me, see an errant sesame seed and think that its pernicious little presence needs to be squished into oblivion?

I think someone is going through my trash….

Posted on August 19, 2009 by borysSNORC

Okay so I just did this weird little ‘What colour are you?" Facebook bit of stuff and nonsense test cos… well I’m in front of the computer and have this OCD like compulsion to fill in these damn things when they’re put in front of me. There was only a few questions – below – and then it spat out saying that I am ‘green’…. which I am definitely not. I’m pepto-bismol pink as well we know! But the little personality profile it spat out at the end is creepy… made me feel like someone was watching over my shoulder as I read it.

Have Facebook somehow gotten hold of notes from my shrink or something? I mean Fabebook often seems ubiquitous and all… but this is just… scary accurate…..

The real "true colors" quiz

Discover your personality style to learn your true purpose in life

1. Which word best describes you?
Compassionate

Flexible

Competent

Organized

2. Which word best describes you?

Honest

Competitive

Empathetic

Curious

3. Which word best describes you?

Loyal

Devoted

Independent

Open minded

4. Which word best describes you?

Inspirational

Active

Perfectionist

Cooperative

5. Which word best describes you?

Affectionate

Courageous

Orderly

Rational

6. Which word best describes you?

Theoretical

Communicative

Rule Follower

Impulsive

MY RESULT:

YOU ARE GREEN…

Values:
Intellectual Achievements
Logic
Competency

Joys:
Personal Achievement
Ideas
Meeting Challenges

Strengths:
Confidence
Logical
Problem-solver

Needs:
Autonomy
Truth & Facts
Accuracy

Frustrations:
Unfairness
Incompentence
Nonsense Rules

At work you are conceptual and an independent thinker. For you work is play. You are drawn to constant challenge in career, and like to develop models, explore ideas, or build systems to satisfy your need to deal wth the innovative. Once you have perfected an idea you prefer to move on leaving the project to be maintained and supported by others

In love you prefer to let your head rule tour heart. You dislike repetition, so it is difficult for you to continuously express your feelings. You beleive that once feelings are stated, they are obvious to a partner. You are uneasy when your emotions control you. You want to establish a relationship, leave it to maintain itself, and turn your energies back to your career.

In childhood you appeared to be older than your years and focused on your greatest interests, achiveing in subjects that were mentally stimulating. You were impatient with drill and routine, questioned authority, and found it necessary to respect teachers before you could learn from them.

A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age!

Posted on May 31, 2009 by borysSNORC

Some food makes me feel like I’m a little kid again. I’m not sure why but when you have it… it just reminds you of some of the simple little things you’d have as kids. I have a list (as all good little OCD-like nutters do) of foods that remind me of being a kid –

Watermelon slices – seed spitting competitions
Spaghetti jaffles – ‘I can’t be bothered cooking’ sunday night fare
Dumplings – cooked in stew… stodge stodge and more stodge
Beetroot sandwiches – nothing else, just beetroot
Vanilla slice – one Mum used to make with Saos
Plum pudding – every christmas I can remember
Country Captain – bizarre chicken dish Mum used to make
Tomato soup – with white bread on cold rainy days
Mangoes – stolen from someone’s tree, juice going everywhere
Sweetcorn on the cob – grown in Mum’s garden every September
Luncheon sausage – cooked on the BBQ out camping
Roast pork – fighting over the crackling

I’m sure there’d be heaps more if I thought about it longer… strangely enough the only ones that have transferred into my own cooking repertoire are the spaghetti jaffles, mangoes, the tomato soup and the sweetcorn! Don’t go near the rest if I can avoid it 🙂
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Oh……I can’t look!!!!

Posted on May 30, 2009 by borysSNORC

My house is falling down around me…. thank Christ they’re doing it on purpose! The theory bit of ‘Hey! Let’s build a rumpus room on the house!’ was cool. Yep, no problems there… architecty dude to do the plan, structural engineery dude to design the footings, certifier dude to sign off on all the council required obligations etc… Yep… no probs – all cool with that.

The practical bit of ‘Hey! Let’s build a rumpus room on the house’ is a little bit on the stressful side for some strange reason….

Imagine if you will an anal retentive home owner… the sort of person who sorts their cottons and pins by colour, their pantry all squared away by product type, their books by genre (then region and timeframe) and their CD and DVDs in alphabetic order. Also, imagine this particular home owner as the sort of person whose 18mth old son had mastered the art of using coasters under his sippy cup and would (without prompting) arrange all the shoes by the front door in neat little pairs. In addition to these particular weirdnesses, imagine the aforementioned home owner also arranges her clothes in her wardrobe by colour… has entirely different sets of cushions for her bed that match her various manchester sets… keeps her collection of Disney cartoons arranged in chronological order… has all her friends heraldry imported to her iPhone for use as their particuar caller ID picture… would happily re-purchase two seasons of The West Wing and three seasons of The Sopranos to have sets with matching covers… AND who uses a plastic table cover to protect the kitchen table top and THEN uses newspapers to protect the protective plastic cover if doing something potentially messy!!! .

Not a difficult picture I’m sure. Add to all this, a tendency to physically twitch should someone have the audacity to SIT on her freshly made bed… a habit of constantly correcting the Small Child for putting his fingers on the walls… an absolute inability to leave a coffee ring on the kitchen bench… a palpable discomfort when items in her room have been moved or altered in anyway…. and altogether, has a frequent air of discombobulation should ‘things not be quite right’.

…. and now…. take to her home with a sledgehammer!!!!

Yes, I daresay it is an understatement of the year to declare that I’m finding the practical side of ‘Hey! Lets build a rumpus room on the house!’ somewhat disconcerting. 😐

Coffee and headphones and laundry… who cares?

Posted on May 16, 2009 by borysSNORC

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for about two days now…. and it’s not going away! So I thought the best thing one can do in these situations is to share the love pain.

On a totally unrelated topic – I want to find some decent noise inhibiting/noise cancelling headphones suitable for air travel etc but am unsure which ones would suit best. Thinking of these – Sennheiser CX300 II…. but have no idea if they’re what I need. I have very little ears which I guess is weighing into the equation too 😐

And on further unrelated crap – I went and did some laundry today and in the process noticed how filthy the laundry room itself was. I know not how one can expect to clean things in a room that is in itself utterly covered in dust and yeurk. So being the little OCD freaker that I am I washed down the washing machine, dryer and sink, cleaned the shelves, washed the door and started in on the walls before being forcibly stopped. But now I feel like my eyes are falling out of my head and my back is going ‘oh-dear-god-what-the-fuck-was-she-thinking’!?!?! So not good… extra valium for me tonight.
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