Cards Against Humanity – We Love You.

Spent a side-splitting night playing Cards Against Humanity on Sunday night and was thinking… ‘I really need to get some of these, just to play with the family on Christmas Day’.  With expansions, of course.  So I jump on their website, and even though I already knew they probably wouldn’t ship to Australia, I thought I’d look for that ever elusive internet loophole.

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So having a look through their FAQs… cleverly disguised under the section entitled: “Your Dumb Questions” and yeah, had my expectations confirmed – no shipping to Australia.  But, there was a small glimmer of hope:

cards against humanity email

So, I thought I’d give it a whirl in spite of of their warning:

cards against humanity email warning ———- Outgoing Email ———-
From: borysSNORC
Date: Tue, Oct 8, 2013 at 9:22 AM
Subject: OCD Chick Needs Proper Cards
To: CardsAgainstHumanity

Hi there,

I have the misfortune to live in an ‘inferior’ country as outlined on your website, in this case, Australia.  Yes, I know…  Anyway, as such, I do not have ready access to your excellent products through yourselves or through Amazon.

This presents a significant problem for me personally, as I have diagnosed obsessive personality traits and can not foresee any situation where home made cards would be acceptable… let alone the inevitability that would see future expansion packs printed out on inhomogenous card stock – the horror!

Naturally, this is completely unacceptable and would render my game completely unable to be played.  *twitch twitch*   Why, the very idea of it is almost as traumatizing as that time, when the powers that be, released the first two seasons of The Sopranos in cardboard boxes and then latter seasons were released in regular plastic cases necessitating the re-purchasing of the entire series!

I am therefore humbly requesting that I be allowed to order the original Cards Against Humanity party game (RRP of $25) and the First, Second and Third Expansion sets (at $10 each) and have them shipped to Australia – and, if at all possible, without an ass raping, non-lubed shipping rate!  Just this one time, I promise.

Also, I think it worth noting, that as a group of individuals that are figuratively crying out to be ridiculed, I believe the OCD community are significantly and conspicuously absent from your most excellent game, which given the propensity for absurd behaviour tics is absolutely ripe for exploitation.

Yours in date rape and child beauty pageants…

borysSNORC

cards against humanity

And low and behold, I got a reply this morning!  😀

———- Reply Email ———-
From: Cards Against Humanity
Date: Wed, Oct 9, 2013 at 2:43 AM
Subject: Re: OCD Chick Needs Proper Cards
To: borysSNORC

Hi Robyn,

Cards Against Humanity is technically only available in the US, Canada, and the UK right now . . . buuuuut since you asked so nicely, I’ll link you to our super-secret international store.
Password: yousickfucks
A few notes:
  • This is a private link. Please don’t share it!
  • You may have to pay import taxes depending on your country. You’re on your own there.
  • Shipping takes a few weeks, so please give it some time to arrive.
Thanks, and good luck!
J & the CAH

TeamTa da!  Borys’ most excellent letter writing skills, strike again.  I think I should write a consumer advice book on “How To Have Your Way With Almost Anyone”.   😀

cardsagainsthumanity

I’m not shuffling them again.

Several years ago – it doesn’t really matter how many, as it does no one any benefit to do the math and figuring out exactly how many moons ago it was! – I did an extended trip through Europe.  Nearly six months of just travelling through Europe with my sister, BigSal and a friend BuddyMary.  None of this ‘working holiday’ nonsense for us Cross girls – there’s simply not enough time for partying ’til all hours, getting stupid drunk on ouzo, puking on ancient ruins, falling down stairs with extra large cups full of margaritas, watching your travel companions nearly getting arrested by imams, peeing out of moving buses, getting stoned in Amsterdam, and ‘going to see his scoot’, if you have to, you know… go to work!!!  Anyway, we started in London (well, if you don’t count the unexpected detour to Bahrain because a some poor guy on the plane had a heart attack as we passed over Tehran), and we went through a bunch of countries: France, Spain, Monaco, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Czech Republic, Austria, Germany, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Holland, Wales, Ireland, Scotland and England (and I’m sure I’ve forgotten some!), many of which were done courtesy of a Top Deck double decker bus tour.

Sigh… They don’t run them like that any more.  But back in my day, 😉 they had a fleet of old London buses that had been converted to have sleeping bunk areas upstairs, kitchen and sitting areas downstairs and they pretty much ran like your average Contiki Tour, going from place to place, but without the time wasting and nightmarish packing and unpacking every night, and the tedium of putting up and pulling down tents every stop!  Truly, it was one of the best things I ever did.  The first eleven weeks was spent on these buses with total strangers, many of whom would do the Big Brother House proud!  One of the ‘not so strange’, total strangers was HtheVet, who was an already well travelled Kiwi lady, who had been living and working as a vet in London, fully armed with a plethora of gruesome work related dinner table stories, that frequently gave the four nurses on our trip a run for their money!  Anyway, HtheVet was one of the handful of people we met on the trip who we stayed in touch with, because, well… she was one of the sane ones!  😀   And she used to collect these little lapel pins on her travels and stick them up in her home.  Which I thought was a fantastic idea to remember my travels too, so I started doing the same thing, because it was that, or I was likely to end up coming home with a massive pile of ‘I heart <insert place of interest>’ t-shirts that I’d probably never wear!

By the time I got home from that trip, I had a bag full of souvenir pins that were a cool little chronicle of my travels. Several years after the particular trip in question, I asked my Dad if he would make me a glass topped coffee table to display these pins in, and he lovingly made me a beautiful timber table to put them in as a wedding gift.   And not surprisingly, thanks to my obsessive personality traits and persistent bowerbird tendencies, I’ve been collecting lapel pins on my travels ever since.

collectable lapel pins

But no more!  Now I’ve come to a grinding halt.  With my recent trip the Canada, Alaska and the US, the coffee is full (I repeat Ghostrider, the patten, err table, is full!).  That’s right no more travel for me, unless it is to third world countries where things like souvenir lapel pins are rather hard to come by.

Four Pics One Word

Quite a few of my friends have been playing a little game on their smartphones lately called ‘Four Pics, One Word’ (which brings up immediate and somewhat alarming correlations with the ‘Two Girls, One Cup’ thing, which is no doubt deliberate, but I digress!) and I know this to be true… because when they run out of coins they are posting their harder puzzles to Facebook and asking the hive mind for assistance!  🙂

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Four Pics, One Word is essentially word puzzle game – you are provided with four images that are connected in some way, along with twelve letters that create a word which relates to all four images.  Some of the visual clues are very straight forward and the answer will leap out at you straight away.

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And then others tend towards the somewhat obscure and require a bit of lateral or abstract thinking to figure out the correct word.  That, or putting it aside and looking at it with fresh eyes later and you can usually figure them out as they don’t seem to get more difficult as you go along.

So you sail through a few and then actually have to look at the puzzle for a few seconds.  Personally, I find this game fairly straightforward and haven’t used the ‘coins’ you get for getting the words correct (they can be used to delete letters from the options or to purchase a letter in the word I believe).   This is probably because many moons ago I did a Bachelor of Visual Arts degree where they inflicted things like ‘Reading the Visual’ and ‘Visual Perception’ and ‘Communicating using Images’ onto us, so dissecting art, symobls or visual imagery and relating to them as concepts and words has become second natur over the years.

But what I really love about this little game is the beautiful quality the game has about it.  It’s very polished looking, the images are all professional stock photography, the letter tiles are very smooth and easy to read, and it’s a simple design and layout… it’s really just a rather pretty meadow, I guess.

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But, (and y’all knew there was a big old ‘but’ coming!) there is something that is driving me absolutely nuts about this game.  And it’s the advertisements.  They pop up about every half dozen words guessed, probably more frequently than that in all honesty and given the little word puzzle game is free, the ads are inevitable yes?  However, it’s not the actual presence of the ads that is annoying me… it’s the visual presentation of them!  Here the developers are having spending considerable time and energy creating a game that is visually quite stunning on a little handheld device only to turn around and have it frequently polluted for their users by throwing in ugly looking advertisements for other cheap and nasty looking games.  WHY?  Surely they could be putting up more targeted advertising than this?  Why something that is so incongruous with the quality of the game in which they are putting them?

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Urgh… the ugly keeps interrupting my little game, setting off my OCD, and making me twitch like mad!  I just know I’m going to cave and buy the Premium version of the game for the grand total of USD$1.99 just so I won’t be visually assaulted with these horrid cheap looking ads!



Twitch. Twitch.

They’ve gone and done it again!  No explanation.  No apparent reason.  No earthly logical reason why changing the introduction music to a TV show is a cunning plan… unless of course it’s to save royalties because the original artists were starting to get greedy about it.

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Watched Bones S08E01 tonight and got 5 minutes in only to discover that they have changed the intro music/sequence and it is now a watered down pathetic version of it’s former self.  Why?  Especially after seven successful seasons where they have indelibly imprinted the associations in our brains between that particular piece of music and their show?!?  I’m sure you can damn well get it as a ring tone for crying out loud.  To change it, well… it makes no sense!!!

I may have railed against this in the past in regards to ‘The Unit’ and ‘Veronica Mars’ amongst other shows, but I just don’t understand why (when you’re obviously on a winning formula) you decide to fuck with it?

I was quite disappointed to hear the new intro, it’s like a cheap knockoff version of itself and it no longer has the same connotations as the original Bones tune… it was all I could do not to switch it off in disgust and never come back!