Monthly Archives: August 2007

Elvis

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Elvis is dead
Elvis is dead
Elvis had a heart attack
Because he got so bleeding fat.

Don’t know where this came from.  I can hear it in my head as if being chanted by a very small very bored child.  It’s an awful ditty for a kid to be singing.  But nearly every time I think of Elvis and particularly on August 16th each year, I end up with this in my head.  😐

On a lighter side August 16th also reminds me of a very cute memory of my very first serious boyfriend, A1, confiding to me, on the night of my high school formal in 1988, that he was in love with me…..  awwwww.  How sweet is that!   🙂
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Brownie points for J.K.

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Last week I put aside the book I am half way through reading to catch up with the rest of the world and find out where Harry, Ron and Hermione have ended up.   I have been in no hurry to read it, but am convinced that I am eventually going to inadvertently learn their fates whether I like it or not if I leave off reading the Deathly Hallows for too long.   Anyway, I am all of 194 pages into the book, and have to admit, that I am finding it a rather unremarkable thing thus far.  Not gripping enough to want to make you stay up and read long after you should have gone to bed, and certainly not engrossing enough to make me want to take it to work to read on my lunch break….  Then I read the following gorgeous sentence –

Dawn seemed to follow midnight with indecent haste.

When trolling through classic literature, you find beautiful sentences like this all the time….  truly elegant phrases that have a precision and succinctness that somehow transforms a seemingly commonplace observation into a beautiful poignant sentiment.  And while you expect these moments to occur with regularity when reading a classic novel… I am assuming (and I could be wrong here :)…  that it occurs less often in children’s books!   I was quite taken with this eloquent phrase….  it made me stop, reread the sentence a number of times… and then put the book down and walk off to do something else, for I am certain whatever  follows will seem a disappointment in comparison.  :S
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I’m too lowly paid for this shit!

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I hung up on a customer today!   😮

First time I had a caller that I just did not want to deal with.  The guy had bought himself a  self install broadband kit and obviously knew absolutely nothing about computers or networking.  He’d been apparently experiencing some difficulties an by the time he got on the phone he was angry and aggressive right off the bat.  I let him rant a little – as you do – and then started to try and find out what the problem was.  Sounds like he probably had a stupid username and password issue that wasn’t allowing him to complete his install, but he was so frustrated he was just going off his nut.

He didn’t seem to be able to stop himself from raging, and he kept on ranting on about ‘fucking Goliath’, and how he was ‘sick to fucking death of fucking Goliath’ and ranting about how he ‘should’ve fucking known better than to sign up with mother fucking Goliath broadband’.   At which point I asked him politely to ‘please stop swearing’, that I was ‘sorry that his install was proving more difficult than he anticipated’ and I would ‘prefer that he would please stop swearing at me over the phone, and tell me what the problem is.’

Which I thought would have caused a normal person to reassess their attitude, but this guy then turns on me directly and starts in on me!  ‘All you people care about is getting our fucking money … none of you fucking idiots on the phone ever help, and it’s never anything but problem after fucking problem with you lot!’  

Now….. I’m not particularly enjoying my job of late, and I think this is largely stemming from the fact that the call centre is closing down, and we are all losing our jobs, and most of my colleagues whom I could stand for more then 5 minutes together have all abandoned the sinking ship…. so when I normally would have tried to talk him round…. I found myself saying rather tersely ‘Would you kindly refrain from resorting to profanity when addressing me, if you are indeed in any way shape or form capable of doing so.  Should you continue to rail against me in this manner, I will cease to assist you and terminate this call.’

Okay… I admit, had I uttered my threat in a variant of the English vernacular that this moron could comprehend, he might have wound his head in, but instead I got a ‘Don’t you fuckin’ talk to me like…’

Sigh…… Click!!!!
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Last supper

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I was driving past a KFC with Equinom and Yale the other day and…. as often happens when Equinom is in the vicinity… the conversation grasshoppered from premier travel destinations for Thai sex tourists, to what you would have for your last meal on earth.

Equinom informed us that her last meal on earth would be a tray full of Zinger burgers followed by a batch of Mrs Fields White Chocolate and Macadamia cookies.  What????   Ewwww.   Can think of nothing worse ….. of course other than the fact that it is your last day alive of course.  :S     If you were in the position where you knew you were going to consume your last meal on earth…. and hopefully that meal isn’t going to be consumed in an institution where one has had to refrain from picking up the soap for the last 20 years of so …  well I reckon I would hope that my last meal looked a little less like this:

and with a bit of luck and a fair breeze, a helluva lot more like this:

Complete with immaculately turned out, well manicured, well spoken and well coiffed waiter of indeterminate age…. hmmm make that ‘waiterS‘ and ‘ageS‘….   😀  And they will be bringing little tidbits of carefully prepared gourmet delights…. veal scallopini  on wild mushroom risotto….. white chocolate vanilla bean creme brulee……  camembert stuffed chicken breast with avocado and bearnaise sauce…..  rare roasted venison with mushrooms sauteed in truffle oil (oh hell… who am I kidding…. anything with mushrooms!!! 🙂 …..  bourbon pecan pie with double cream vanilla bean icecream and syrup…..  double baked goats cheese souffle with gruyere and sweet onion glaze….. and oh yes…. there ought be Fruit Tingles and guacamole!  🙂

With so many truly deliciously delectable delicacies (that was for you BluddyMary :)….. what could possess anyone to want a zinger burger – let alone a tray full of them – as their last meal on earth is beyond me!   😐
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