Snapish Furball Meme

Got this from SnappsihFurball….  and like all good memes it’s a good for a bit of a giggle.
Have a go and see what you get  🙂

I ate the Trojan Man because the little people told me to……

…But I wish that I’d shot Paris Hilton because I have Double Ds!!!

pick the month you were born in
1 – I ate
2 – I needed
3 – I ran naked with
4 – I shot
5 – I killed
6 – I smoked with
7 – I banged
8 – I ran shirtless with
9 – I stabbed
10 – I cuddled with
11 – I slept with
12-I killed

Pick the day (number) you were born on

01 – a condom
02 – a dog
03 – a jew
04 – a toothbrush
05 – Santa Claus
06 – a homo
07 – Barny the dinosaur
08 – a prostitute
09 – a pornstar
10 – a bag of weed
11 – the trojan man
12 – Paris Hilton
13 – my lover
14 – the kool-aid man
15 – a pickle
16 – a stripper
17 – a shoe
18 – a horse
19 – an orange
20 – a crackhead
21 – a homeless guy
22 – a whore
23 – my crush
24 – a easter egg
25 – a jar of honey
26 – a lesbian
27 – a bowl of cereal
28 – a french fry
29 – your dealer
30 – a glass of milk
31 – Ur grandma

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White – Because thats how i roll
Black – because I have AMAZING boobs
Pink – Because the lil people told me to
Red – because im sexy as hell
Blue – because I’m a pimp and your jealous
Polka Dots – because I hate my life
Purple – because I’m gay
Gray – because I love marijuana
Other – because I have double D’s
Green – because I’m good in bed
Orange – because I smoke crack
Turquoise – because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown – because i had to
Shirtless – because I’ve got abs
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Ute.

A friend sent me this by email the other day – thought it was funny.  Read below before opening image.

My darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip, I want to let you know about a little accident I had with your pick up truck.  Fortunately, it was not too bad and I didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.  In fact, about 5 seconds after it was over, I felt much better and was back to my happy, smiling self!  I didn’t see any reason to notify the police or our insurance agency.I was coming home from K Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake! The garage door is slightly bent but your ute, fortunately, came to a halt when it bumped into your car.  Lucky for you, your motorcycle was spared.

I am really sorry, darling.  But with your kind-hearted, giving, loving personality I’m positive you will forgive me.  Remember how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.  Enclosed is a picture of my little “accident.”   Have a safe trip home.   Oh yes, before I forget… Your  girlfriend called.

Your loving wife.
XoXoX

infidelity found out

BOFH w~ MCustomer#62

HelpDeskChickie:  Hello this is borysSNORC calling from the Goliath Broadband Help Desk.  Am I speaking with MCustomer#62?  It is?  Great.   This is just a courtesy call to see if the ADSL fault you logged last week has been rectified.  Is your service up and running okay now?  (operator smiling audibly over the phone)

Customer:  “Yeah, it’s all up and running foine now.  It’s going pretty good aktually…”

HelpDeskChickie:  Okay well I am going to go ahead and close this case for you.  Is there anything else I can help you with today?? (Compulsory closing sentence I’m obliged to say but would rather not have to utter…)

Customer:  “Yeah there is.. i keep doing these searches on the indanet and I always get those pawnography pages coming up.  Can you fix it?”

😐


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Dreaming … Dreaming of being….

I am totally not used to this work stuff!  It’s thrown my sleep patterns out the window something fierce.. I haven’t had to set an alarm to wake me up for years now, always had the little guy pulling alarm clock duty.  Now I’m setting the alarm clock each day and waking up before it.   Also when i used to wake up in the middle of the night, I used to be able to get back to sleep without too much trouble unless my back is stirred up.  Well since the job’s stirring my back up pretty drastically, I’ve been waking up like last night at 3.20am and not being able to get back to sleep.

Did finally doze off for about half an hour at 5.30am and had the weirdest dream…. I was at work and scheduled to work 7am-3pm and had turned up a little early to get all logged in and ready (yesterday was a nightmare – took about 28mins to get into all the systems and configure my profiles correctly).  But because I was early, I went and had a bit of a lay down in the break room.  When I got out to the floor, my shift was just finishing, and the guys I was supposed to be working with were all heading home.  I sank to the floor (which was a grass lawn btw), and watched as the night shift people came in.  There was four or so chicks in purple Tree of Life panne velvet ‘renaissance’ (and I used the term loosely) styled dresses, walking around trying to find somewhere to hang up some fancy purple stone mobiles on all the windows, calling themselves Amethyst Goddesses and making a blessing before sitting down to work.  Then a couple of muslim fellows started doing their call to prayer in the middle of the office while trying to figure out which way was west, cos there’s no natural light in the place… then a group of coal smeared miners with tool belts marched in, and one of them make a short speech about ‘making this a great day with no OH risks – lets go!’  And then I woke up……………..

I think working is sending me balmy.  :S  Next I’ll be getting visits from crazy discworld type characters – like Death of Office Recycling or the OHS Witch or something!

dream image terry pratchett

A=Z Meme

Meme from Dave2

A- Available or Single? Sure always.
B- Best Friend? Small but distinguished handful.
C- Cake or Pie? Pie – Pecan, grandma used to make one.
D- Drink of Choice?  Bombay Sapphire and tonic.
E- Essential Item?  Oakley Frogskins! circa 1989
F- Favorite Color? Musk stick pink.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms?  Fruit Tingles
H- Hometown? Toowoomba Queensland
I- Indulgence? Fortnightly manicures
J- January or February? January, party party party.
K- Kids and Names? Not For Publication.
L- Life is incomplete without…?  Guacamole.
M- Marriage Date? I’m supposed to know this right?
N- Number of Siblings? Two.
O- Oranges or Apples?  Mandarin please.
P- Phobias/Fears? Being buried alive, or burned to death….
Q- Favorite Quote? “There’s many a slip ‘twixt the crouch and the leap ”
R- Reasons to smile?  Gorgeous boy, good friends, MSN, new job 🙂
S- Season? Winter… in BrisVegas… 22 blue skies, cool breeze. Great!
T- Tag 3 people? Nah can’t be stuffed Jones.
U- Unknown Fact About Me? I love walking in thunderstorms.
V- Vegetable You Hate? Peas… ewww!
W- Worst Habit?  High expectations
X- Xrays You’ve Had? Back, Back, Back and oh wiz-bang teeth..
Y- Your Favorite Foods?  Oysters Kilpatrick and home made pizza!
Z- Zodiac? Capricorn (and Metal Pig apparently).

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