Ok, so remember when we got told by the Department of Communities that Daleyacunt and Fuckin’ Fuckhead had done their dash, what with the threats to our persons and property, and were being issued a ‘Notice to Leave’ that would give them 16 to vacate the property?  Well, that was back on June 8^th and we have been waiting ever so patiently for that blessed event to occur.  Some time around mid-July we started to get over the ‘we should be adult about this and wait for the government wheels to turn in their own time’ thing and were trying to contact the Housing Officer Debbie to confirm that the self professed, Neighbours From Hell, would in fact be moving and find out when they’d be gone.

We left several messages for Debbie, initially with staff and later on her voicemail desperately asking her to contact us regarding the continuing distressing situation next door.  Finally, about two weeks ago, we found out why Debbie hasn’t been returning our calls… The Housing Office that manages this area HAS BEEN CLOSED DOWN FOR SOME TIME and all files have been transferred to another Housing Office who had never heard of us, or our complaint, the arrest, the behaviour orders and subsequent ‘Notice To Leave’ order. Our repeated entreaties for Debbie to call us back were going to a defunct voice mail service in an office that no longer existed! 🙁  Thank you fucking Campbell Newman for your promise not to cut any front line services, which was pigeon paired with promises that services won’t be compromised.

So the new Housing Officer at the new larger Regional Housing Office has taken a couple of weeks to request police reports etc., to try and find out what has happened with this friggin’ mess.  And finally they have gotten back to us.  Yes, Debbie did issue the ‘Notice To Leave’ as per our information (so apologies to Debbie for all the curses and expletives I’ve been hurling in your uncontactable direction!), but with their office closing, no one forwarded the breech of the ‘Notice to Leave’ to the sheriff/bailiff who enforces these things… so nothing happened and it all got lost in the shuffle.

Which brings us up to date.  The new Housing Officer dude, I think his name is Steve, tells us we should write a letter and put the whole thing in motion again… which I feel is rather wishful thinking on Steve’s part, because if I have to waste a day writing an official letter outlining the ongoing problems we’ve had with our neighbours that date back to early February, it won’t be addressed to Steve.  It will be addressed to the Minister for the Department of Communities and the Director General in charge of Community Housing, and will be none too flattering for Debbie or Steve or their entire organization.

I know it’s terribly uncharacteristic of me to stop bitching about something once I’ve gotten my teeth into it, but even though I haven’t blogged about it much, their crap hasn’t stopped this whole time.  They’re still taunting the dog, still using loud power tools at inappropriate o’clock for no reason, playing loud pop music at 0500 on a SUNDAY morning, and of course still abusing the living shit out of each other with alarming regularity using the most profane and foul language imaginable; beating on each other, throwing things, slamming doors, still screaming bloody murder at the drop of a hat, and the police are still being called (by us) whenever it sounds like he’s getting close to, well… maybe, actually killing her.

Why, just this morning I was enjoying a cup of tea and looking over my Latin assignment for any glaring errors, when I heard her screaming at their dogs (there’s very vicious sounding pig dogs over there now) about them having ripped out her plants and ‘money trees’ (I don’t know, and I don’t want to know).  She’s swearing at the dogs, yelling that she’s “going to kill those fucking dogs”, screaming at Daleyacunt for not controlling them and generally just going off tit.  My little Puppy Guts, Oscar, ever one to get in on the excitement starts running along the fence line barking excitedly at the aggravating raised voices, so I go into the laundry and whistle to call him inside to quieten him down… at which point she yells at ME!  “and you fucking neighbours can fuck off too you’re as fucking bad as the fucking mongrel dogs pissing me off”. There may or may not have been punctuation in there somewhere (?) but I couldn’t tell, either way though, it was a positively charming start to my day.

First thing Monday morning – call Steve and ask him the name and address of the Minister for their department and to whom I should be addressing my concerns.  I could very easily find this out on my own of course, but nothing seems to get those Government wheels moving quicker than the word ‘ministerial’… especially in the current political environment.

Peace and quiet hath finally been restored to Azerbaijan and all is quiet on the Northern Front.  Hur-fucking-rah!   And all it took was two charges from the QPS – one of Threatening Violence and one of Willful Destruction of Property – and a Letter of Breach of Conduct from the Dept of Communities and a follow up Notice of Eviction.  Oh and a court ordered Peace and Good Behaviour Bond which stipulates that the neighbour must not have any contact with us, interfere with our property or comes onto or remain on our property, lest he risk being fined $1500.  Doesn’t seem enough to me, but given he’s unemployed and is living in a Housing Commission home… correction, is soon to be homeless… it probably seems like quite a lot.

Back on the 6th of May when Daleyacunt was railing indignantly at us for having the audacity to call the police while he was beating on his wife and his children were crying in fear in distress, the swarmy bastard yelled at us: ‘why doncha write anuva fuckin’ letta ya stupid fuckin’ cunts, yer good at that!’ and I remember thinking to myself, ‘Oh, don’t worry, petal.  I have every intentions of doing so, only this one won’t be addressed to you.’  Having been enjoined so earnestly to write a letter, how could I refuse?   I wrote to the Dept of Communities and given Daleyacunt, who shall henceforth be known as ,the Defendant, was being charged with Threatening Violence and Willful Destruction of Property, the representives of the Housing office took the matter very seriously indeed and acted as swiftly as their bureaucratic red tape allowed. The Defendant now has less than 10 days remaining to vacate the property and with the Peace and Good Behaviour Bond in place, I anticipate the next noise disturbances we hear from next door will be him and his mates yelling each other as they try to tetris his bar fridge, garden tools and wife beating equipage onto the back of a ute.

We are very glad, and relived, that the bureaucracies processes in place had our back on this occasion instead of holding things up for a change (and so very odd to be praising the Qld Police Service while conconurrently raging at Qld Police Service’s Weapons Licensing Branch in almost the same breath due to a weird coincidence of timing).  The previously palpable tension around here is all but gone and we are no longer on high alert but just keeping out a steady watch as we wait the days out.  But there is something about this whole mess that is REALLY PISSING ME OFF.

Daleyacunt has been quiet – one could almost say restrained, or well behaved even.  A little bit of passive aggressive nonsense while he was waiting for his court date, but now he’s got a chunky fine hanging over his head, we haven’t heard much from him at all.  Not towards us, not about us, and not even between them, which was previously a daily occurrence at least.  Which means that this absolute moron who has been making our lives miserable for the last six months is quite capable of containing his temper, is aware of what decent neighbourly behaviour is, and is quite capable of restraint when it is required thank you very much.  It’s not that he’s psychologically unstable, it’s not that he’s got anger management issues and it’s not that he’s somehow truly ignorant of how his actions effect others or is, for whatever reason incapable of living any other way… he’s just a monumental prick who doesn’t give a shit about anyone else.  Not until there were repercussions for him personally.  And that really gets my goat.  If they had moved into the house and starting comporting themselves the way they have since his court date, they wouldn’t have bothered anyone at all and we could have all happily co-existed for the next decade without any problem.

What a fucking dickhead.  I can’t wait to see the back of him.

Feeling kinda nervy this morning…

I found out last week that the Neighbours What Did Spew Forth From The Bowels of The Department of Communities Who Are Demonstrably Lacking in Perspicacity, are going to be sent an eviction notice for being inconsiderate, violent arseholes… err, I mean for repeatedly breaching the code of conduct required of persons living in public housing.  And I rather expect when they receive said notice, they will be none too impressed at discovering there are repercussions for their threats of violence, repeated willfully damage to our property and disruption to the peace and comfort of the community.  And being as completely stupid as they are generally known to be…they’re unlikely to recognize that they have bought this upon themselves and will in their everlasting wisdom decide that the fault for their predicament lies not within their own hairy unwashed miscreant conduct, but rather with those who have reported them for it.

So here I am, the hatches battened down, the doors and roller shutters all secured, the PuppyGuts locked indoors, the Police on speed dial and preparing for another round of completely sober yet unbelievably belligerent bullying behaviour from what I am sure is one of the most intellectually challenged, judgement impaired and verbally incontinent men in the entire country!

The really fun bit is… they have 14 days to vacate the premises once they receive the notice.  I wonder what new and exciting torments and threats he can throw at us with 14 days up his sleeve and nothing to lose.  😐

It feels like a never ending saga.  Since the guy next door was foolish enough to threaten us with violence in front of the police and get himself arrested, things have been relatively quiet on the Northern Front. Likely due to Daleyacunt being on some sort of good behaviour bond until he goes to court.  “Relatively” being the operative word here of course.  Mostly they’ve just switched from full on aggression and threats of violence towards us to passive aggression, and they seem determined to vex us in any way possible.

They’ve still been having their drag ’em down, knock her around arguments, but they’ve been playing loud music to cover up when they are hurling abuse at each other.  Daleyacunt, a man in possession of limited intellectual capacity, honestly doesn’t seem to realize that in doing so, they are merely creating an environment where they have to scream even louder at each other – making themselves ever more audible to their neighbours.   Sigh…

Instead of continuing to threaten to poison our our dog he has taken to taunting poor PuppyGuts with food on the other side of the fence, which sends the poor little guy into a tailspin (almost literally) as he runs back and forth along the fence trying  to get to it.  As far as I can tell, he hasn’t fed Oscar anything else yet, but I’ve had to take to locking Oscar inside (poor thing) for his own protection when ever I go out.

Thus far they appear to have refrained from the continued use of poisons on our garden, but  Dickhead Dale (yes, I’m getting sick of the endearing nickname his girlfriend has bestowed upon him) is still turning on that leaf blower at stupid o’clock in the mornings and he’s added Chainsaws After Dark to his repertoire… so we had chainsaw song over dinner on Wednesday night, though for the life of us we haven’t been able to figure out what he was actually using it on… if indeed he was actually using it, odds are he was just making noise to annoy us.

It feels like we are living next to a time bomb.  No wait, I shouldn’t be speaking for Mr K and the Small Child in this matter… but I sure as hell feel like I am living next to a time bomb, just waiting for the next explosive and ill-advised temper tantrum.  I’m watching my poor dog like a hawk, tip toeing around the house when I’m home alone so they don’t know when we are home and when we are out.  Hoping like hell he doesn’t damage the property or put the place on fire when I do leave the house – because he’s evidently THAT STUPID.  It’s like having a huge festering boil next door and I’m just sitting here waiting for it to spew pus and vitriol all over us… again.  🙁  Nothing like having the peace and comfort of your own home compromised by elements (read: hairy unwashed miscreants) beyond your control!!!

Basically I think we might correctly boast that we are living next door to one of the stupidest bogans in the entire country.  He has neither commonsense nor sound judgement, nor (apparently) the ability to control his own temper.  But most alarming of all, of late he is demonstrating that he does not seem to be in possession of a self preservation instinct!  Honestly, does anyone think it seems wise to continue to deliberately antagonize the Complainants in your upcoming court case; the very same people who are in the process of dealing with your landlord and taking out a Peace and Good Behaviour Order against you?

Oh wait, he doesn’t know about those bits yet…

Update:  Well, yesterday went from bad to worse.  The neighbours were abusing each other again, cursing and slamming doors and yelling and screams of distress and pain. I found myself compelled, once again, to call the police. The police duly arrived and did their thing which appeared to subdue the situation.  However, no sooner had the police left the scene, then Daleyacunt and Fuckin’Fuckhead (aka Jacinta apparently) finally introduced themselves… sort of :S… by means of standing in their back yard yelling at us/towards our house pressing into service some of the most foul language imaginable.  😐

Dale was aggressive and abusive, repeatedly directing someone in our household to ‘Suck my cock, ya fuckin’ cunts’ 😐   He then proceeded to attempt to intimidate us by ranting on about how he’d been in jail for 11 years and that being loud and rude doesn’t get you sent to jail, but stabbing people does!  Ergo, there’s no point in calling the police on them for again.  Almost immediately, She began hurling abuse at us too (unbelievable)!!  Declaring. loudly and proudly, that she was ‘black’ and that we should be worried because her family that would come ‘fuck us up’ just like they ‘fucked up that guy on Palm Island’.  Daleyacunt was also saying ‘Don’tcha watch TV?  When you stick your nose in other people’s business, ya come home an’ find ya fuckin’ house on fire, ya cunts’.  It went on and on. By the end of this tirade they had threatened our persons, our property and our little dog too (poor Oscar). He was laughing maniacally like he thought he’d pulled some great joke over on us, swearing indiscriminately and saying the police were scared of THEM and that there was nothing we could do that would do anything to him.  Many more ‘We are going to fuck you up’s and several more ‘they’re going to get us’ threats were issued when in amongst this barely coherent abusive rant, Dale actually referred to themselves as the ‘neighbours from hell’…  Which may well be the first and only factual thing he said.  Throughout all this window-licking crazy talk, Mr K and I were staring at each other in disbelief and remaining stoically silent, refusing to engage with him at all.

Unbeknownst to the less than perceptive Daleyacunt, as soon as he issued the first threatening statement I had called the police again to report that threats were now being directed towards us (something we had been trying so hard to avoid incurring for the last few months).  The same officers who attended next door were then sent around to our property and all the while Dale was still railing at us from next door.  One of the policemen interviewed us while his partner went into the backyard and started recording the abusive diatribe.  With this audio recording in hand, the police officers decided to charge him with threatening violence and he was subsequently arrested.  Unfortunately, he was likely only gone a few hours and was then released on a good behaviour bond under which he is not allowed to interact or talk to us… but I had my doubts that bond would stop him from getting on his leaf blower at 6am this morning (being Monday, he’s allowed to use power tools even earlier).   The police called to let us know when he was in custody, and relayed to us that when they picked him up he denied having threatened us with violence at all.  They quoted his threats back to him and he denied having issued any of those threats.  They then confronted him with the fact that they had been on our premises at the time and had audio recordings of his threats and he STILL denied everything!  Apparently, he would only admit to ‘maybe’ having said he was going to mess with our dog.  So, it turns out Daleyacunt is even more deluded than I thought… incapable of digesting new information, such as oh, I don’t know… concrete evidence? and adjusting his version of events accordingly.

The man obviously has no common sense, very little if any higher reasoning abilities, is completely unable to grasp a concept my 10 year old has already mastered – that your actions in life have consequences, and even when confronted with direct evidence by officers of the law, he blatantly lies!  He appears to be lacking even a self preservation instinct?  Seriously?

Well, I admit that after months of listening to this steady flow of abuse I have become quite stressed about the situation.  Now, after today’s events, I am excessively distressed about the unwanted circumstances that we find ourselves in.  Yes, I was quite upset about the whole mess yesterday and I am not looking forward to more passive aggression from next door.  All I can do is keep calling the police when his behaviour escalates and hope like hell that he doesn’t change pattern and decide to come over here and start physically throwing his weight around  🙁