Took the Small Child to see Oz, the Great and Powerful this afternoon at the cinema, anticipating a great family film, and we weren’t disappointed.  The story starts out with a carnival charlatan who is predictably swept up into a tornado and lands in Oz and eventually becomes the famous Wizard we all grew up with.

‘The Wizard’ (played by James Franco) is a self involved, egotistical, materialistic and superficial prat who goes about using those he encounters to meet his own ends… we could say he’s displaying psychopathic tendencies  but that’s probably overstating it a little as we all know that he’s going to ‘come good’ in the end – it’s that kind of film.   The witches, the Good, the Bad and the (eventually) Ugly… are portrayed the gorgeous Michelle Williams, the elegant and beautiful Rachel Weisz and the oh my god, your complexion is stunning and you have eyes for anime, Mila Kunis!  Together they did a bang up job for a family film… but if you’re wanting to see a little more menace and a little less Disney in your witches, you’ll be sadly disappointed.  Personally, I think the Ursula the sea witch from The Little Mermaid was more convincing than these girls in the evil department.

The good…

The bad… and the (eventually) quasi-ugly.

The most adorable characters in the whole film have to be China Doll (voice by Joey King) and Finley, the helper monkey (voice by Zack Braff).  Finley, because he reminds us so much of the lovable Puss in Boots of Shrek fame, with his adorable anthropomorphism and quick one liners, and China Doll who is probably the one character in the film most likely to universally affect audiences (says a lot considering she’s digital!).

The director, Sam Raimi (awesome director of too much cool stuff to list!) has done a great job with an interesting back story to the much beloved 1939, Wizard of Oz film (though I don’t know that many of us have ever sat around going… ‘Hmmm, I wonder where the Wizard actually came from?’) and blends together some seriously impressive special effects, with a very moralistic Disneyesque storyline about teamwork and redemption, starring an inherently flawed man who eventually finds some intestinal fortitude and strives for greatness.  Overall it is a great family film – vivid, enchanting, beautiful to look at, delightful costumes and characters, but I wouldn’t expect to see any of them on a podium for it any time soon.

PS:  I want a helper monkey like Finley!

Oh my God.  Such poignant, gutwrenching drama… the sadness is almost overwhelming.  The sheer grief, the copious sense of loss, the unlauded heroism and the unbelievable humanity I watched last night, has left me feeling like a wrung out dishrag.  Anyone would think I was foolhardy enough to have spent the evening watching a couple of seasons of Grey’s Anatomy back to back again… which for the record, I strongly recommend against doing!  Especially if you happen to be recovering from a recent surgery – been there, done that… not a good plan.  But I haven’t.  This was worse, so much worse, because it was real.

Last night we saw The Impossible starring Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor. It’s the story of one ordinary family’s horrifying experience of the tsunami that hit Indonesia and Thailand on Boxing Day in 2004 (was it really that long ago?).  It’s one of those movies where you know you’re in for a heartbreaking cinematic experience as soon as you see those seemingly innocuous little words come up on the screen during the introduction… ‘based on a true story’.

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for the people (locals and tourists alike), who were swept up, and many swept away, by this enormous display of the sheer brutal power of nature.  So many died.  So many families ripped apart, some not reunited for years, and some never to be reunited, with hundreds of thousands missing, presumed dead, especially in Indonesia, families and individuals from every country in the world were effected by this disaster.

This movie is most definitely not your typical Hollywood disaster flick.  This is an intense and compelling film about the very real, and emotionally charged, account of one family’s experience living through one of the world’s worst ever recorded natural disasters… and, as you might imagine, it is absolutely harrowing.  The characterisations of the individuals who were in the middle of this tragedy are so convincing, full of complexity and human frailty that you find yourself thinking…  What if that was my family?  My husband? My child? My wife? What would I do if that happened to me, or the people I loved?  And you come away with no answers.  It’s unthinkable.

The family behind this remarkable story are Maria Belon and Quique Alvarez, and their three sons Lucas, Thomas and Simon (if you are planning on seeing this film, I’d click that link later).  I can’t imagine the bonds that hold this family together after everything they went through – but the sheer stubbornness, determination and resilience displayed by all of them in the film, especially the children, no doubt contributed to their survival when faced with the most disastrous and horrifying scenario imaginable.  It is difficult to say you ‘enjoyed’ a film like this due to the horrendous human tragedy it portrays… but I am glad I saw it.  Even though it brought me to tears several times.  It really makes you think about how incredibly strong the human instinct for individual survival is – and that it is prevalent in all of us – regular everyday people.  It also made me think about the invisible but indestructible emotional bonds between spouses, between parents and their children and between siblings, and how formidable those ties can be, even amidst so much confusion, suffering, pain and loss.

On top of that, never have I seen a movie before that made me feel like those of us living in ‘the lucky countries’ have our day to day priorities so screwed up.  Money, houses, cars, material ‘stuff’… ultimately none of is important.  Our families, the people we love – those are the only things that truly matter when the shit hits the fan.  I thought this movie was extremely powerful, hard hitting and emotionally exhausting, but well worth watching.

It’s hard to know where to start to describe a movie of this caliber.  Yes… caliber is a good word – because someone should have shot the screen writers, directors and casting agents before this abortion of a comedy had life breathed into it and it was launched on an unsuspecting movie-going public.

OMG.  You will probably see this film described as appalling, shocking, dull, disjointed, clumsy, disgusting, stupid, tasteless and a hundred other derogatory adjectives and yet none of them will fully encapsulate the gross spectacle that you will encounter should you decide to still go see this film once you’ve finished reading this.

So, I can’t describe the plot, the storyline or the narrative of the film – because there isn’t one.  I can’t talk about the protagonists, character development, depth or complexity – because there isn’t any.  We can’t talk about artistic genre vision or intent of the film – because it’s beyond definition.  Hell, we can’t even really talk about the cinematography, costume design or locations and set design – because it’s amateur hour the whole way!  It’s just like a bunch of Saturday Night Live skits hyped up on meth and filth and that certain je ne sais quois that I like to call ‘artistic shock me! shock me! shock me!’, that seemed to have escaped their time slot.  :S

The only thing left to talk about is how the fuck did they manage to get such a sterling ensemble cast of A-list stars to participate in this unadulterated, stinking dog shit of dog shit, of a movie?  Because they’re all in there… Kate Winslet, who I have always so admired,  Hugh Jackman, Dennis Quaid, Richard Gere, Greg Kinnear, Emma Stone, Keiran Culkin, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Kristen Bell, Justin Long, Elizabeth Banks, Johnny Knoxville,Liev Schrieber, Naomi Watts, Jason Pratt, Anna Faris, Kate Bosworth, Sean William Scott, Jason Sudeikis and on and on the list goes.  They have Uma fucking Thurman for Christssake!  Such a huge cast, almost every face instantly recognisable and I bet every single one of them will eventually wish that this scatalogical, puerile and idiotic piece of celluloid is not on their resume.  When in gobsmacked disbelief, I asked ‘How?’…  Mr K said “Two words. ‘Contractual obligation.'”  *shudder*  God I hope he’s right.  It’s hard to imagine these amazingly talented people did this willingly!

Overall, this is just a really boring, badly made bunch of comedy skits mashed together by a flimsy premise and a bunch of disjointed directors, who I assume were sitting around stoned off their gourds when they came up with the idea for it.  In fact, the whole thing feels like a dare run amok… or a game of The Aristocrats that got out of control and, to our everlasting lament, found a fucking budget!  I’m almost convinced they did pitch it to studio executives at gunpoint.

For once, I feel that America’s general propensity for litigation may prove to be in our favour – cos surely someone, anyone, should sue all their arses for wasting our precious time on this earth with this complete and utter drivel!

PS:  Like much truly infantile, putresecent and ill advised so-called comedic crud that makes it onto film… it will give you a few laughs.  Though anyone over the age of 13 with an IQ over 70, will be left wonder why you found any of it amusing!?!?  *shrug*  It’s one of life’s great mysteries… 

 

 

As soon as you see those words appear on the screen you know exactly what you’re in for.. an unusual, innovative and creative story line, weird yet engaging characters, unpredictable plot twists and of course blood shed.  And lots of it!

I went to see Django Unchained last night it it was easily one of the best films I have seen in months!  The casting was excellent, the script was pithy, well written, funny, yet emotive, dramatic and violent and moved along with at a rhythmic pace – action, drama, action, drama, action.  I didn’t even notice it was nearly three hours long.  It is probably  the best Tarrantino anything I’ve seen since Pulp Fiction.

The first half of the film has some genuinely funny moments in it as we are introduced to our main characters Django (the sexy Jamie Foxx) who is a presented to us as a slave with a past and eventually as a slave with a mission.  We also meet his ‘master/owner’ Dr King Schultz (played by the awesome Christoph Waltz who was so good in Inglourious Basterds), a German born bounty hunter in the American old west c.1850.  I love the high brow manner of speech and affectations of Dr Schulrz, which given his profession seem completely out of place.  But these two characters, and these two actors, work so well together they make a strange but very effective pair of misfits travelling around kicking arse and taking names… or in this case, killing folks and collecting bounties.

There’s plenty of Tarantino’s signature morally ambiguity and his sometimes challenging, “I can’t look”, sadistic and torturous violence thrown in for good measure.  But it’s all so completely over the top that your enjoyment of it is somehow incongruous with the cruelty of the content… does that make sense?  I know what I mean, even if no one else does!  😛

It’s a bit of a piss take on old Westerns that turns into a revenge drama about slavery in the deep South.  It has some bizarre, almost Mel Brooks-like humour as Tarantino uses the Ku Klux Klan for some comic relief – yeah wtf?  but it works.  Django and Dr Schultz, who turns out to have a heart of gold, build themselves a neat bankroll in the flesh industry (cash for corpses) before heading off to Mississippi in search of Django’s wife, the unlikely named Broomhilda von Shaft (played by that absolutely gorgeous ball busting chick who plays Olivia Pope in Scandal… err, Kerry Washington).

It turns out she belongs to a wealthy Southern gentleman, Mr Calvin Candie (Leonardo Di Caprio) who has a large plantation and an propensity for Mandingo fighting (‘my nigger can beat your nigger’ sort of thing…) which I don’t know is historically accurate.  I have to say I don’t think I’ve seen or heard the word ‘nigger’ used so frequently and flippantly since I read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!!!  **Hold Please**  Just looked it up – there are 176 uses of the word ‘nigger’ in Django Unchained and 213 mentions in Huck Finn.  He’s trying but he’s got a ways to go to catch Mark Twain!   Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, they found Broomhilda and as you can imagine things start to go rapidly pear shaped from there.  No need to speculate who’s going to die, it’s a Tarantino flick after all, so it’s more of a ‘I wonder how he’s going to kill him off!’ sort of deal.

Other must mention performance in Django Unchained is of course Samuel L. Jackson in the role of Calvin Candie’s right hand/head house nigger, Stephen or Steve who takes on the part of the Magical Negro!  Talk about trying to cover all your literary and film genres in one hit.

Whole thing is a bit of a whirlwind, some great burlesque-like costumes and set design, Djangos costumes range from the rock-n-roll cowbow to a down right ridiculous dandified valet outfit. Dr Schultz tends to look more like a cross between Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud than a stereotypical Western bounty hunter.  And there’s some ‘Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn!’… Hey sexy lady, “Rhett Butler Style!” overlaying the whole thing!

All up I loved it… and I discovered that when you fire off lots and lots of black powder pistols in an enclosed space they sure lay down the really visceral looking carnage, but don’t leave huge plumes of smoke choking the pistolier and obstructing the view at all!   🙂

Took the Not So Small Child to see Wreck-It Ralph this afternoon.   It’s holidays and there’s plenty of fodder out for the kids so we tend to see a lot of movies at this time of year.  It’s just a bonus that we get to hide in the air con for a few hours too.

The trailer for this movie looked both fun and funny.  The premise of the story promised to be unusual and creative too.  The animation looked like it would be an interesting blend of 80s retro cool and top of the line digital animation and the voice cast sounded pretty solid too.  So what went wrong?  Cos quite frankly I thought this movie sucked arse.

Basically we’ve got Wreck-it Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly) who’s suffering from situation depression due to his role as a ‘bad guy’ in his video game. Ralph then goes rogue, or in game parlance ‘goes turbo’, and decides he wants to be more accepted by the ‘good guys’ in his game by winning a medal to make him as popular as his game’s hero, Fix-it Felix (voiced by geeky and annoying, Jack McBrayer).

So Ralph goes off running amok in other games in hunt of validation in the form of some heroic medal, and starts off in Hero’s Duty where he’s thrown in the deep end of a modern first person shooter game and is way out of his element.  His guide here is a very sexy steel capped breastplate, ball bustin’, drill sergeant type called Calhoun (voiced by the fabulous, Jayne Lynch).  After finding the much coveted gold medal everything goes phenomenally pear shaped when he finds himself ejected from Hero’s Duty and into a sweet and puffy racing game called Sugar Rush.

Here he meets a very annoying, but I’m told ‘strangely attractive and arousing’ (don’t ask I wont reveal my sources), little kid who looks straight out of Despicable Me called Vanellope (voiced by the usually very saucy, Sarah Silverman which probably explains the strange comment from a friend who found her ‘attractive’ on some level).  Anyway, Vanellope steals his medal to buy her way into some race game and…. well any more than that I have no idea, because I pretty much fell asleep at this point.

I imagine that the story probably ended up in typical Disney fashion, with Ralph back in his game and enjoying a new found respect and admiration from his ‘colleagues’ in Wreck-It Ralph.  Order restored and all is well with the world… blah, blah, blah.  Apparently there was an interesting little back story with Vanellope and the dude that was in control of Candy Rush Land, but the whole thing escaped me because I was napping.

Basically I felt this movie was trite, boring and so predictable as to be unwatchable and fail to watch it I did.  Bit sad really, seeing the trailer showed quite a bit of novelty and promise… or maybe I’m just altogether too hard to please!