Two cow economics… E-cow-nomics!

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…

two cow economics e-cow-nomics

Fish Out Of Water

After a bit of a late night I had great plans for Latin study alternated with doing as little as possible today in an effort to conserve what little remains of my sanity at the moment.  It’s heading into silly season and I don’t know why I thought I had a quiet weekend ahead of me, but that went out the window pretty quick.  C’est la vie.

Anyway, today for the first time I ended up at one of those strange cultural phenomena known as a comic conference or a popular culture festival, called Supanova (why they spell it like though, that is beyond me).  I was not expecting to be going, and was rather lukewarm on the concept to be honest… and I certainly wasn’t one of the many in the crowds who had obviously been looking forward to this event for months with great anticipation – sequins, fake blood, brightly coloured wigs and hot glue guns at the ready.  It took me a minute, but as we got near the venue; the penny dropped… aaah pop culture/comics books/fandom/geek fest = cosplay.

brisbane cute sexy outfitsI seriously had forgotten about the complete license to let your freak flag fly at these sorts of events and was initially a little taken aback at the wide and varied and excessively skimpy costumes on display.  If cookie monster hair and a Sailor Moon costume is what it takes to get you going… more power to you.  But I just somehow totally failed to make the connection before we got there for some reason… meh.

So the March of the Weirdos was extremely entertaining (and this coming from someone with 15 years of background in medieval re-enactment… yes, I am fully cognisant of the hypocrisy/irony in the sentiment) mostly because I simply didn’t have the background knowledge to know what the fuck most of these people were supposed to be dressed up as?  I mean I go to an SCA event and I can pick someone who is doing 10thC Anglo Saxon from someone who is doing 15thC Spanish which are both clearly different from 14thC Burgundian or 12th Irish!  But most of the people at the showgrounds today just caused me to me constantly ask ‘What is/are he/she/it/them supposed to be dressed as?”  Absolutely no frame of reference whatsoever for most of them.  I recognised an orc, and saw some robots (but couldn’t tell you what flavour or franchise of robot they were supposed to be), and I saw two Links (thanks Small Child, wouldn’t have known that one without you) and more Batmans than you can poke a stick at.  But past those I was like ‘what’s she/he supposed to be?’ which turned out to be a bit of a pointless exercise anyway because the answers made me none the wiser anyway… I can’t pick a storm trooper from a mechwarrior (?) in a line up anyhow.  :S

graphic novels avengers compendium

We whipped around the pavilions, saw LOT of cutesy cutesy Japanese anime Hello Kitty type merchandise right next to someone selling huge movie related replica swords, knives and quasi-military paraphernalia (paintball, tactical gear, webbing, scopes and balaclavas??)  There was stalls selling comic books, chunky compendiums of graphic novels and serious collectors items alongside with someone selling home made gingham hairbows with little skull faces in them??  Err… a little something for everyone one I think?!?

supanova brisbane merchandiseI rapidly discovered that open ended questions gave me a marginal advantage in stopping me from looking like a complete noompty – so I spent most of the afternoon saying, ‘What is that for?’ or ‘What is that from?’ or just ‘what the hell is that thing?’… :S  Because apparently it’s better to appear ignorant than to get it wrong… as in “Cool, I’m going to buy Mr K this silly figurine from Star Trek that no one likes as a bit of a shit stir! :P” whilst holding up a thing called Jarjar Binks.  Yes, I admit it I don’t know anything about the Stars… Star Treks, Star Wars, Star Gates, whatever!  They’re all the bloody same to me – aliens, lasers and good guys and bad guys (yes, yes, please keep your indignation/incredulousness down to a dull roar… ta).

supanova shopping brisbane weird stuff

merchandise series fry leila nibbler I pottered around the place with an odd feeling that I could not remember the last time I felt so ‘out of place’ anywhere.  I am usually quite comfortable in my surroundings and never feel like I don’t belong or don’t understand the place or my purpose in being there. So it was a very unusual weirdness to feel a bit ‘What exactly am I doing here, and what is this whole thing about?’  Couldn’t remember the last time I felt like such a fish out of water.


Surrounded by confusing icons of pop culture, I did what any sensible woman armed with only a Platinum Visa for protection would do – I shopped!

jar jar binks super mario marty mcfly lego WoW cards I did buy the Jarjar Binks STAR WARS (yes, I was set straight on that one) figurine for Mr K, but I also found boxes of WoW cards and called him to see which ones were which, so I could buy him ‘the right’ box.  I also found a Lego stall and after much deliberation bought the Small Child some Avengers Lego – very cool.  Ummm… I also got a ‘not for tv’ Marty McFly rainbow coloured cap, a strange Mac&Cheese smelling car freshener for the Small Child to hang off his monitor which I thought he might find amusing, and a cute Super Mario belt that spins from a red to a green mushroom (you can’t have a ten year old son and NOT know who Super Mario is so I was safe there).  😀

All up it was a rather entertaining afternoon (an interesting cultural counterpoint to Saturday’s matinee session of Carmen by the Australian Opera Company)… but not sure it’s one I care to repeat.  Been there, done that, what’s next?  🙂

Word Clouds for shits and giggles.

A friend of mine was doing up some interesting Word Cloud images on Facebook tonight via Tagxedo.com and was coming up with some very creative and cool images full of words describing her friends.  I flicked through to the site and noticed you can use the URL of your blog or Twitter feed or website and it will create one for you based on your content. So I thought I’d give it a burl for a bit of a lark on an otherwise boring Monday night.

Here’s one it created from this blog: www.boryssnorc.com

borys azerbaijan etc

Here’s one I created from my SCA website: www.threegoldbees.com

word cloud for threegoldbees.com

And here’s one I created from my Twitter feed (which I don’t use much tbh): @boryssnorc

tagxedo word cloud twitter

That last one is a bit painful really… but then, so am I.

I think someone is going through my trash….

Okay so I just did this weird little ‘What colour are you?" Facebook bit of stuff and nonsense test cos… well I’m in front of the computer and have this OCD like compulsion to fill in these damn things when they’re put in front of me. There was only a few questions – below – and then it spat out saying that I am ‘green’…. which I am definitely not. I’m pepto-bismol pink as well we know! But the little personality profile it spat out at the end is creepy… made me feel like someone was watching over my shoulder as I read it.

Have Facebook somehow gotten hold of notes from my shrink or something? I mean Fabebook often seems ubiquitous and all… but this is just… scary accurate…..

The real "true colors" quiz
Discover your personality style to learn your true purpose in life
1. Which word best describes you?
Compassionate
Flexible
Competent
Organized
2. Which word best describes you?
Honest
Competitive
Empathetic
Curious
3. Which word best describes you?
Loyal
Devoted
Independent
Open minded
4. Which word best describes you?
Inspirational
Active
Perfectionist
Cooperative
5. Which word best describes you?
Affectionate
Courageous
Orderly
Rational
6. Which word best describes you?
Theoretical
Communicative
Rule Follower
Impulsive

MY RESULT:

YOU ARE GREEN…

Values:
Intellectual Achievements
Logic
Competency

Joys:
Personal Achievement
Ideas
Meeting Challenges

Strengths:
Confidence
Logical
Problem-solver

Needs:
Autonomy
Truth & Facts
Accuracy

Frustrations:
Unfairness
Incompentence
Nonsense Rules

At work you are conceptual and an independent thinker. For you work is play. You are drawn to constant challenge in career, and like to develop models, explore ideas, or build systems to satisfy your need to deal wth the innovative. Once you have perfected an idea you prefer to move on leaving the project to be maintained and supported by others

In love you prefer to let your head rule tour heart. You dislike repetition, so it is difficult for you to continuously express your feelings. You beleive that once feelings are stated, they are obvious to a partner. You are uneasy when your emotions control you. You want to establish a relationship, leave it to maintain itself, and turn your energies back to your career.

In childhood you appeared to be older than your years and focused on your greatest interests, achiveing in subjects that were mentally stimulating. You were impatient with drill and routine, questioned authority, and found it necessary to respect teachers before you could learn from them.

Silly silly silly billy.

sillyness from

 

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Why yes… thank you very much.

2. Have you ever been drunk?
Many… many times.

3. Do you own a gun?
Depends…. who’s asking?

4. What do you like to do on weekends?
Hang out with my boys.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not nervous per se… just a bit ‘Oh ferfucksake – here we go again’.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

American Hotdogs are ok… somtimes.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Fekkin’ hate Christmas with a passion

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Tea

9. Can you do push ups?
Don’t be ridiculous.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?

Wedding/engagement rings. My fish? My starfish? Dunno

11. Favorite hobby?
Should be bungee jumping but is embroidering.

12. Favorite novel?
Ever?  Ummm… too hard next question.

13. What’s your favorite shoe?

Sneakers…

14. What is your middle name?
Michelle… my belle.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
My back/neck/head hurts… alot.
I need more sleep…. some sleep… any sleep.
I should have had some breakfast.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink.
Wine
Water
Tea

17. Current worry?
Concrete coming – not enough hands.
  
18. Current hate right now?
Pain

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
At home.

21. Where would you like to go?
Paris to live.
New York to visit (the Met!)

22. Name three people who will complete this:
Probably no body – most people have a life.

23. Do you own slippers?
Ugg boots – but note: they’re inside shoes people.

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?

Red.

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets?

Nope… don’t honestly think anyone does.

26. Can you whistle?
Yep… cover your ears.

27. Favorite colors?

Cherry Crush and Candyland Pink

28. Would you be a pirate?
No. Though thank you ever so much for your kind offer.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
None. Don’t sing in the shower.

30. Favorite Girl’s Names?
Elle, Natashya, Hermione, Cosette, Bianca.

31. Favorite boy’s names?
Aaron, Edward/Edmund, Eric or maybe Jason.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?

No pants = no pockets.

33. Last thing that made you laugh?

The Small Child scared of the noisy chainsaw.

34. Favorite summer activities?
Air con, dark room, movies, slurpees.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had?

Ummm… whiplash x 4.

36. Do you love where you live?

Has it’s ups and downs.

37. Who is your loudest friend?

Corny   😛

39. How many dogs do you have?
One small yapper type dog called Caesar.

40. Does someone have a crush on you?

I strongly doubt it.

41. What is something you are really looking forward to?
Dishes being done Dude!

42. What is one thing you do several times a week?
Cook unfortunately.

43. What song do you want sung at your Funeral?
Sally MacLennane by The Pogues of course!