To brie or not to brie… that is the worst pun ever brought to you by Mr K.

Posted on May 15, 2010 by borysSNORC

I was thinking the other day that while Mr K is sick and unable to yell at anyone with any gusto, now might be a good time for a wee confession….

For several years now Mr K has been telling me that he doesn’t like brie…. or at least he thinks he doesn’t like brie. He likes camembert well enough, but not brie. Only the thing is… about half the ‘camembert’ cheese that gets served in our house is actually brie and has been for donkeys. I know it’s a dreadful deception, but everyone else likes brie, and he seems to consume it with plenty of enjoyment when he thinks it’s ‘camembert’,

It’s just a little white one right?

A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age!

Posted on May 31, 2009 by borysSNORC

Some food makes me feel like I’m a little kid again. I’m not sure why but when you have it… it just reminds you of some of the simple little things you’d have as kids. I have a list (as all good little OCD-like nutters do) of foods that remind me of being a kid –

Watermelon slices – seed spitting competitions
Spaghetti jaffles – ‘I can’t be bothered cooking’ sunday night fare
Dumplings – cooked in stew… stodge stodge and more stodge
Beetroot sandwiches – nothing else, just beetroot
Vanilla slice – one Mum used to make with Saos
Plum pudding – every christmas I can remember
Country Captain – bizarre chicken dish Mum used to make
Tomato soup – with white bread on cold rainy days
Mangoes – stolen from someone’s tree, juice going everywhere
Sweetcorn on the cob – grown in Mum’s garden every September
Luncheon sausage – cooked on the BBQ out camping
Roast pork – fighting over the crackling

I’m sure there’d be heaps more if I thought about it longer… strangely enough the only ones that have transferred into my own cooking repertoire are the spaghetti jaffles, mangoes, the tomato soup and the sweetcorn! Don’t go near the rest if I can avoid it 🙂
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Every little piggy’s got a heart.

Posted on April 30, 2009 by borysSNORC

Now I understand that bacon is a staple on the food chain for many peoples who seem to live on the internets for reasons I don’t begin to fathom but for me personally it’s … okay ocacionally I guess. Rarely do I go out of my way for pig products at all, though we do seem to have ham for sandwiches and the like in the house most of the time – but I feel that hardly constitutes a particular porcine affinity or a specific swine style relationship.

In the middle east of course they have a long time honoured and tradition heavy relationship with pigs so I was interested to note that Egypt is set to slaughter every damn pig they can get their hands on by the sounds of it… somewhere estimated between 250,000 and 400,000 piggies. Given that there’s no current scientific argument pointing towards this being necessary to halt the ‘impending swine flu pandemic’ – that’s an awful lot of pork on your fork for a region that don’t really dig on no swine as a rule.

Wonder what they’re going to do with all that dead pig!?!?!?!
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Just a little bit of paradise….

Posted on March 31, 2009 by borysSNORC

Generally speaking I don’t like chocolate and can happily turn down chocolates, cake or slices and biscuits with no problems what so ever. I mean… there’s a box of chocolates that I was given for Christmas that I opened last week and there’s two chocolates eaten from the box so far and I have no desire to go eat the rest of them because they’re really just too sweet.

There are however, some things that are just too yummy to exist and as such can not (and probably should not) be resisted if one is to maintain some semblance of mental health. One of these particularly therapeutic items is the White Chocolate Raspberry Creme Brulee they make at the 2 Small Rooms… or at least they used to make it there 🙁 But don’t despair… we have their cookbook (silly, silly people selling their recipes of deliciousness for the measly sum of $35) and here ’tis…

2 Small Rooms White Chocolate Creme Brulee

100gm white chocolate grated
300ml cream
8 egg yolks
100ml castor sugar
2 vanilla beans

6 tuile biscuits
castor sugar
2 punnets fresh raspberries
icing sugar

Split vanilla beans lengthways
Heat cream and vanilla beans gently (do not boil)
Whisk together egg yolks and sugar, add cream slowly to egg mix whisking continuously
Heat gently over a double boiler until mix reaches a custard consistency (25-30mins)
Stir in white chocolate until disolved
Place bowl over ice to cool remove vanilla beans after scraping out seeds into mix and stir gently to remove air bubbles
Spoon mix into ramekins and allow to set.
Lightly sprinkle castor sugar over the top of the ramekins
Spray with a little water and burn sugar with a blow torch until golden brown
Stack raspberries on side of plate and dust heavily with icing sugar
Prace brulees and tuile biscuits on plate and serve

Anyone got some time over the weekend to come cook? Oh and do you happen to have a handy blow torch in the shed?

Cold hands… warm heart… dirty feet… tiny mouth?!!?

Posted on March 23, 2009 by borysSNORC

Big Food pisses me off! 🙁

You see I’ve got a rather small mouth… (waits for the titters to die down)… and whenever I try to eat Big Food I feel like a snake trying to dislocate it’s jaw in order to eat it’s prey. Problem is that most food items that are normal size for most people are just not daintily proportioned enough for my delicate mandibles and I end up doing my dislocated snake jaw impression rapidly followed by an unattractive and ungainly squirrel cheeks imitation.

When we go to the Sushi Station (or similar) I always pick the items that are small bite sized things because if I choose some of the larger items then I risk wearing half of it because I can’t eat it in one bite. If we go out for steak sandwiches at the Hoggies or just a panini sandwich down the local cafe for lunch, I end up dropping half my sandwich on my plate as I try to wrestle with the two inch thick slices of bread. Even when I make hamburgers at home… just rissoles on a regular bread roll with some cheese and salad maybe… I seem to struggle to get around those too.

It’s really annoying. My dentist says that I do indeed have a little mouth and one of the reasons I hate going to the dentist so much is that it feels like HE is trying to dislocate my jaw so he get get a decent look. Having a little mouth has resulted in very straight and gapless teeth which is good thing I guess but it kinda sucks being unable to eat anything larger than a chicken nugget if one wishes to maintain any outward aspect or appearance of decorum.
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