Every little piggy’s got a heart.

Posted on April 30, 2009 by borysSNORC

Now I understand that bacon is a staple on the food chain for many peoples who seem to live on the internets for reasons I don’t begin to fathom but for me personally it’s … okay ocacionally I guess. Rarely do I go out of my way for pig products at all, though we do seem to have ham for sandwiches and the like in the house most of the time – but I feel that hardly constitutes a particular porcine affinity or a specific swine style relationship.

In the middle east of course they have a long time honoured and tradition heavy relationship with pigs so I was interested to note that Egypt is set to slaughter every damn pig they can get their hands on by the sounds of it… somewhere estimated between 250,000 and 400,000 piggies. Given that there’s no current scientific argument pointing towards this being necessary to halt the ‘impending swine flu pandemic’ – that’s an awful lot of pork on your fork for a region that don’t really dig on no swine as a rule.

Wonder what they’re going to do with all that dead pig!?!?!?!
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Just a little bit of paradise….

Posted on March 31, 2009 by borysSNORC

Generally speaking I don’t like chocolate and can happily turn down chocolates, cake or slices and biscuits with no problems what so ever. I mean… there’s a box of chocolates that I was given for Christmas that I opened last week and there’s two chocolates eaten from the box so far and I have no desire to go eat the rest of them because they’re really just too sweet.

There are however, some things that are just too yummy to exist and as such can not (and probably should not) be resisted if one is to maintain some semblance of mental health. One of these particularly therapeutic items is the White Chocolate Raspberry Creme Brulee they make at the 2 Small Rooms… or at least they used to make it there 🙁 But don’t despair… we have their cookbook (silly, silly people selling their recipes of deliciousness for the measly sum of $35) and here ’tis…

2 Small Rooms White Chocolate Creme Brulee

100gm white chocolate grated
300ml cream
8 egg yolks
100ml castor sugar
2 vanilla beans

6 tuile biscuits
castor sugar
2 punnets fresh raspberries
icing sugar

Split vanilla beans lengthways
Heat cream and vanilla beans gently (do not boil)
Whisk together egg yolks and sugar, add cream slowly to egg mix whisking continuously
Heat gently over a double boiler until mix reaches a custard consistency (25-30mins)
Stir in white chocolate until disolved
Place bowl over ice to cool remove vanilla beans after scraping out seeds into mix and stir gently to remove air bubbles
Spoon mix into ramekins and allow to set.
Lightly sprinkle castor sugar over the top of the ramekins
Spray with a little water and burn sugar with a blow torch until golden brown
Stack raspberries on side of plate and dust heavily with icing sugar
Prace brulees and tuile biscuits on plate and serve

Anyone got some time over the weekend to come cook? Oh and do you happen to have a handy blow torch in the shed?

Cold hands… warm heart… dirty feet… tiny mouth?!!?

Posted on March 23, 2009 by borysSNORC

Big Food pisses me off! 🙁

You see I’ve got a rather small mouth… (waits for the titters to die down)… and whenever I try to eat Big Food I feel like a snake trying to dislocate it’s jaw in order to eat it’s prey. Problem is that most food items that are normal size for most people are just not daintily proportioned enough for my delicate mandibles and I end up doing my dislocated snake jaw impression rapidly followed by an unattractive and ungainly squirrel cheeks imitation.

When we go to the Sushi Station (or similar) I always pick the items that are small bite sized things because if I choose some of the larger items then I risk wearing half of it because I can’t eat it in one bite. If we go out for steak sandwiches at the Hoggies or just a panini sandwich down the local cafe for lunch, I end up dropping half my sandwich on my plate as I try to wrestle with the two inch thick slices of bread. Even when I make hamburgers at home… just rissoles on a regular bread roll with some cheese and salad maybe… I seem to struggle to get around those too.

It’s really annoying. My dentist says that I do indeed have a little mouth and one of the reasons I hate going to the dentist so much is that it feels like HE is trying to dislocate my jaw so he get get a decent look. Having a little mouth has resulted in very straight and gapless teeth which is good thing I guess but it kinda sucks being unable to eat anything larger than a chicken nugget if one wishes to maintain any outward aspect or appearance of decorum.
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Beetroot Cake with Peanut Butter Icing

Posted on November 23, 2008 by borysSNORC

I don’t usually go around posting recipes to the internet as it seems a bit redundant given how many cooking and recipe websites there are out there. However, recently I promised someone a copy of this old recipe that I had inherited from some chefs I knew years ago and now of course my drug addlepated brain can’t remember who I was supposed to email it to, so I’m hoping this catches whomever it was that was supposed to get it :S (That made more sense in my head). So yeah… Beetroot cake. I know it sounds disgusting but chocolate lovers assure me that it’s to die for… so bear with me here.

First – a warning: This is an extremely rich chocolate cake which means… 1) it is really, really bad for you…I mean you can almost feel those arteries hardening as you read the ingredients list… and 2) seeing that the dominant flavour is chocolate – I don’t like it. It would however satisfy any chocoholic or mud cake afficionado and has gone down a treat on the few occasions that I’ve bothered to make it.

BEETROOT CAKE

Cake ingredients:
2 cups of cooked beetroot, mashed
2 and 1/2 cups plain flour
2 teaspoons bicarbonate of soda
2 cups of sugar
1 and 1/2 cups of ‘salad oil’
4 eggs
1/2 cup of cocoa
2 teaspoons of vanilla
2 teaspoons of salt

Icing ingredients:
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup butter or margarine
3 cups icing sugar
milk

Cake method:
Mix together sugar, oil, vanilla and eggs thoroughly.
Sift flour, soda, salt and cocoa.
Alternately add flour and mashed beetroots and to oil/egg mixture.
Place in a prepared 23x33cm cake tin,
Bake at 180C for 45 minutes

Icing method:
Combine peanut butter and butter.
Add icing sugar.
Blend in just enough milk to make a good spreading consistency.

Image: Aurore Damant.

Canadian = More North American than he cares to admit :)

Posted on November 11, 2008 by borysSNORC

Mr K is Canadian. Now aside from the frequent bad puns… normally we don’t hold his Canadianism against him. But over the years the one thing that separates Aussies from Canadians even more than the occasional disparity in lingo (trunk = boot; footpath = sidewalk; toilet = bathroom… which for the record we call a toilet because there’s a fucking toilet in there!!!) there’s a distinct difference in our food preferences.

He’s a peanut butter man and we’re Vegemite kids through and through. He grew up in Qld but doesn’t like seafood at all. Ditto in the mango department…. Huh? I mean wtf mate? Who doesn’t like mangoes? He likes strong cinnamon flavoured gum and lollies… bleurk. Has a penchant for something called Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups. He refuses to acknowledge that Root Beer tastes the same as Sarsparilla even though the ‘root’ in his root beer is well…well it’s fucking sarsparilla dude! Get over it. His idea of a BBQ used to be hot dogs or hamburgers only but I beat this one out of him. He’s been known to eat bacon on pancakes AND inflict that on other people.

But the worst culinary infringement must be the occasional appearance in my panrty of the disgusting victual (and I use the term loosely) known as… the Pop Tart. Oh my God these things are awful! They’re a confectionery masquerading as a breakfast food and I’ve not looked it up but I’ve a strong suspicion there’s no acutally food content in them. But wait there’s more…. becuase they’re not readily available Down Under they cost a ridiculous $9 a box here from a specialty lolly shop in the city. Yes a lolly shop not a grocery store.

Every time he brings home a new flavour I’m tempted to try a little nibble to 1) try to ascertain why Americans seem to love them and 2) investigate if any of them are acually edible. My findings thus far? Haven’t found an edible one yet.
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