Beijing – Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City

This morning after an iffy night’s sleep at the Novotel Peace Hotel, Beijing, we head down for breakfast which is included in our accommodation. To be honest, I was expecting the sort of continental breakfast that you get when you stay at most Australian, UK or US hotels – muesli and cereals, toast and muffins, a couple of danish or croissant if you are lucky – and discovered the most lavish buffet breakfast I have ever seen.  Waffles, eggs done three different ways, bacon, sausages, chicken, turkey, vegetables, cereals, porridge, Asian breakfast foods (rice, pickles, radish, tomatoes, all sorts really), yoghurts, juices, seven different pastries – you name it, they had it.  Which would have been lovely if my stomach weren’t doing flip flops from whatever weirdness they served us on the China Eastern Air flight yesterday.  They kinda had us captive all day so we were forced to try it, and whatever the ‘fishy noodle’ was … it disagreed with me.  So breakfast was one egg, half a piece of bacon, and toast.  Then we were picked up by our tour guide extraordinare, Kelli.

First stop Tiananmen Square. Tiananmen Square is the largest public square of its type in the world – at 44ha it is enormous, and we were told there would be around 500,000 people there today given it is summer holidays for all the Chinese schools so we were warned not to lose sight of the group.  God knows once we got there she was absolutely right – it was packed full of people.  Large school groups from the countryside come to the big city to see the sights, families on vacation, I’d say if there was 500,000 people there today, about 95% of them were Chinese touring in their own country.  

The Square itself is only 70 years old, built right next to the ancient Forbidden City.  Directly front and centre is Chairman Mao’s imposing mausoleum designed according to feng shui principles and apparetnly supposed to look like a chop (name seal) though not being tha familiar with Chinese chops, I couldnt’ see it.  Directly outside the tomb was a line of Chinese tourists waiting to go in to see an effigy of the famous leader – it’s not him of course, and you can’t touch it or take a photograph of it, but the line up to go see this effigy snaked for literally kilometers back and forth across the square.  It would have taken hours to line up to go in, just to have a look at the effigy of this contenious and divisive political figure.  Anyway, we weren’t doing that!

To the right of Chairman Mao’s enormous tomb is a monument to fallen soldiers – a simple and stark brick monument designed to remember ‘all the heroes in heaven’ from the wars China has fought in, but most particularly WWII and the war with Chang Kai Chek (sp?).  Most of the local tourist seemed to barely pause at this monument even though it represented the lives of millions of their countrymen, and yet were willing to spend hours waiting to see an effigy of Mao… I found this rather odd.   Overlooking the entire Square is an enormous portrait of Chairman Mao on the outer gate of the Forbidden City, and he seems to be watching you as you walk around the area.  According to our guide, Chairman Mao never step foot into the Forbidden City, due to being superstitious.  He was a Water Dragon (I’m a Metal Boar/Pig according to Chinese horoscope) and he felt going into the Forbidden City would tempt fate as the Emperor’s were all traditionally from the mountains and were Clay/Earth Dragons. Apparently Earth controls the Water, and Mao who wanted to set himmself up as some sort of God, did not want to risk being controlled.   Or something silly of that ilk.

Anyway – we were going into the Forbidden City.  Us and about 250,000 Chinese tourists, all following people with flags on poles.  🙂  As you do.  The Forbidden City was built in 1402 and covers over 7ha by itself.  It has 9999 rooms that the Emperor needed to conduct his business, house his family and very importantly, house his 3000 concubines.  All the buildings of the Forbidden City have yellow clay roofs – yellow was the colour of the imperial family because it represented good fortune and good luck (incidentally blue represents privacy and secrecy and pink was reserved for the concubines).  Other walls and various beams and doors were red to represent happiness and longevity – making for a quite striking and colourful complex.  The very outside gates were called the Upright Gates, and only people of good character were allowed to pass.

As we passed through each set of gates on the way into the centre of the Forbidden City, we walked by enormous red doors covered in huge brass studs.  Our guide told us we should touch the brass studs for good luck and even though personally I kinda though it was more a ‘touch the brass studs for a dose of Hep A’, we did it anyway.  Through the next gates as well, until we entered the Third Gates, also called the Phoenix Gates and we found ourselves in another large courtyard.  This was the Execution courtyard, where the Emperor had his prisoners executed, his ministers wait before being allowed in for audience, where petitioners waited for meetings, and where eunuchs were made.  Inside the third gates was the Hall of Supreme Harmony – the Emperor’s main digs.  The building holds over 3000 people – it had to accommodate his ‘family’ (including his concubines) for weddings, birthday and Chinese New Year events.  So is quite the impressive building considering it is now 600 years old.  

The Hall of Supreme Harmony rests atop three marble plateaus, representing the earth, the humans, and heaven.  The Qing Dynasty Emperor was the last ‘proper’ emperor to reside here.  The Qing Dynasty died when a once loyal General got angry at the Emperor for taking his beautiful wife as a concubine.  He decided to get even by allowing the Manchurian army into the Fobidden City and the Manchurians then made themselves supreme rulers.   (There is SOOO much history omitted here for the sake of brevity and not wanting to get my dates etc mixed up – all of it fascinating).

Behind the Hall of Supreme Harmony was the Emperor’s Office where he conducted most of his official business near the Home of Mental Cultivation.  Opposite the Emperor’s Office is one of the treasure’s of China – a 7000 year old Jade disc that represents the Heavens, set within a square granite block carved with 8 dragons.  The Emperor himself was meant to represent the 9th dragon (many things here come in 9s).  It was so placed, such that the Emperor if he started to lag in his work, could be reminded of how he was the connection between his people here on Earth and the Heavens.

The next area we went into was the visiting space for the concubines.  With the Emperor being just one man and having 3000 women to choose from every night, each lady had a ‘business card’ made out of gree and white jade.  On the green section of the jade was the concubines name, on the white section an artist would paint the concubines likeness.  Many of the concubines would bribe the artists to make them look even more beautiful on their portraits than in real life in the hope of securing the Emperor’s favour – because seriously, given that the Emperor was choosing only 3 women every night, that meant each concubine would only get a look in maybe once every three years… and pregnancy was her only way to elevation.  There were 9 levels of concubine, and each concubine was entitled to a certain standard of living.  If she was favoured and bore the Emperor children, her little household entitlements grew as did her status within this world of women.  If however she didn’t recieve the Emperor’s favour, she was at the mercy of the higher ranking concubines forever.   If chosen, eunuchs would fetch the women, bathe them, make them up to the Emperor’s liking and bring them to this meeting space naked.  They would wrap the women in a silver quilt and carry them to a room to await his visit.  The nakedness was to ensure they weren’t carrying any weapons – not everyone was happy about being chosen to serve the Emperor as a concubine.  With three ladies every night, he might choose all or none to lie with, so getting pregnant had pretty slim odds… that and the Emperor had his favourites who he would visit with regularly.  Not much of a life if you ask me.

After this we went into the private Royal Gardens of the Forbidden City.  Nothing like Japanese gardens at all.  This garden was full of enormous pieces of ragged limestone, which had been imported from the South of China and was an ostentatious display of wealth – to be able to pay to have such large rocks moved.  There were also large juniper trees and pommegranate trees and every tree was specifically selected according to feng shui desing principles.  The paths were made of tiny rock mosaics, apparently the work of bored concubines who had nothing else to occupy their days but to linger in the gardens and make the pavements pretty.  The Forbidden City was very impressive, and I could not help but wonder that it was an ulimate expression of what could be achieved with unlimted wealth, manpower and other resources.  Just incredible… though it would have been truly  a sight to behold when it wasn’t swarming with sweaty tourists.

After this we went for lunch at a 300 year old restaurant, the name of which I am unable to pronounce let alone write.   We had traditional Chinese lunch, and I am sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that is it nothing like the sweet, over-MSG’d food that passes for Chinese food back home.  There were fish dishes, two chicken dishes, a mushroom dish, some chicken dises (one, complete with disconcerting chicken head), a couple of pork dishes and a unique pear soup that this restaurant has been making for hundreds of years – the pears are boiled for five hours and distilled somehow to end up tasting like a sweet pear mead.  Very unusal, and of course with such a banquet laid out and so many dishes to try, and free beer, the guys all got stuck into it.  Me and my delicate stomach were rather less adventurous than one should be on such occasions.  But what I did try was absolutely delicious.

Once everyone had their lunch and had a chance to visit the ‘Four Star Happy Room’ (Forbidden City have Two Star Happy Room and Four Star Happy Room, you want wait if you can hold on – yes, the Happy Room is our guide’s euphemism for the bathrooms)… we made our way to the Summer Palace, so named because the Imperial Family (Emperor, Empress, children, favourite concubines) would move there for the long hot sticky summer months – we which can attest are postively putrid.  It was so hot today, that everyone was sweating like pigs, and struggling to keep hydrated.  Anyway, I wasn’t quite sure how the Summer Palace which is by all accounts not that far away from the Forbidden City, was going to prove so much cooler.  But it turns out the Summer Palace is three times larger than the Fobidden City and 80% of that space is taken up with an enormous lake.  So you have Forbidden City which gets breezes off the land, with a huge lake on the other side of it, and the Summer Palace across that lake – which means the prevailing wind there is coming off the lake and naturally very cooling. 

The Summer Palace had many of the same rooms and layout as the Forbidden City, but not as large or grand.  Emperor’s living quarters, Empress’ living quarters, meeting rooms, concubines rooms etc.  There is also a Confucian temple where scholars came to study – there were up to 3000 students at any one time and only 72 ever excelled.   To become a Confucian student, you had to provide 20kg of rice and 20 kg of pork, though I am not sure why… tuition I guess?  Those studying the Confucian systemp were considered to be ‘believer’s of that system and it was very much treated like a religion.  There was also a Taoist Temple and Buddhist temple in the Summer Palace, but all the religions got along fine.

The most striking feature of the Summer Palace was the 750m long covered corridor that follows along the lake’s edge.  It was long and elegantly decorated – some 14,000 individually painted pieces – with some covered gazebos spaces along its length.  Walking through there, even though we were surrounded by Chinese tourists who seem to want to stare at short blonde people almost as much as the Pakistantis in Islamabad did, was extremely pleasant compared to the close, fetid air of the Forbidden City.  You could certainly see why they built the Summer Palace there and I can imagine it was once a beautiful lakeside garden of much quiet contemplation and refined entertainment.  I could just imagine what living in this Palace would have been like 600 years ago – though knowing my luck, I would have been a slave or a concubine.  :/ 

After exploring the Summer Palace we took a Dragon Boat ride back to our bus and there endeth our exploring of Beijing for one day – everyone was tired, sweaty, footsore but happy.  So many beautiful sights.  Back to the hotel for a swim in the wonderfully cool indoor pool and then to hunt down a light dinner… After lunch, it’s a wonder if any of us want to eat!

Transit to China

OMG – today has been such a prick of a day.  First we had to get up early, pack our stuff, get out of the accommodation, say good bye to the Small Child and SaucyMary, lug our crap up to a main road, hail a cab, get to Shinjunku JR station, find the right platform and catch a Narita Express train all before 5:55am.  :/

Yeah, was about as much fun as it sounds.  

Tripit had informed us tht our flight had been rescheduled from 10:50am to 10:00am (thankfully) or we would have booked a later train and potentially missed our check-in time.  So yay for Tripit.

We get to Narita, go to check in and find that the China Eastern Airline counters are NOT EVEN OPEN at 7:00am in the morning… what sort of airline doesn’t have service counters open at that hour?  Anyway, we dutifully stood in line until they opened, and checked in our luggage without incident – except I noticed a sign saying that the gates were a 20 minute walk away, and the customer service representative told us there were no shuttles or anything to move people to the gates.  Le sigh.  At least we had a Qantas Club to look forward to once we walked out there.

Have boarding passes, make our way out to the Main Terminal where all the gates are located and rock up to the doors of the Qantas Club to be greeted by a sign saying they don’t open until 8:30am!  What’s with this place, does everyone sleep in or something?  Does no one fly for business purposes?   We walk back out and find somewhere to sit and find some wifi to talk to people back home before we think we are going to have to go dark in China due to shitty internet and data security risks.

Go back down to the Qantas Club at 8:30am – flight is still at 10:00am and MrK was dying for a coffee at this point – only to find out that the stupid travel agent hasn’t booked us on a proper code share flight… and the Qantas Club actually turned away a paid up member, who is flying with an affiliate airline because of a lack of code share codes.  First time I have used a travel agent in about ten years – last time I will use a travel agent if I can avoid it.  

So we wander out and look for coffee and toast.  Find a not so tidy coffee shop and settle for that until our flight is being called.  Eventually we board and do the overhead locker and shuffling in the seat thing and are all settled in around 9:50am, and then for some reason we get held up.  And, guess what?  Our flight ended up sitting on the tarmac until the original scheduled 10:50am departure.  FFS.  

Which meant that our 1hr 30min layover in Shanghai was gobbled up in being late.  We got shuffled off the plane in Shanghai by way of steps onto the tarmac, crammed into barely air conditioned buses and then pushed like cattle through the entire back end of the airport to clear customs, before being put back on the stupid buses and driven straight back out to the same damn plane and being shown back to same damn seats.  Whole exercise was about 30mins and we walked 3 KILOMETERS through the fucking airport in a disorganized shamble.  We kept losing sight of the person  who was supposedly shepherding us though this process and at one point he dumb bitch disappeared all together and I overheard the French couple behind us who were just as pissed off and bemused at what the hell was supposed to be going on.  Why couldn’t we just be processed into the country in Beijing?  As it was, in Beijing they singled out everyone on the flight who had come from Tokyo, to make us collect our luggage and go through customs screening again with luggage in tow, so why not just do the immigration processing at the same time.  Fucking bureaucratic bullshit.  I was so dirty with them – bad enough we left late, bad enough we got all hot and sticky again walking around on the tarmac and through the arse end of the customs world in Shanghai, but to be pushed through another customs screening after they had us enter the country in Shanghai – FUCK OFF.

So, two three hour flights – that took us from 5:00am to 4:40pm later and we eventually arrive in Beijing and are met by our China Tours guide, Kelli.  Thankfully we were welcomed into the warm embrace of someone who knows what the fuck is going on and whose job it is to make sure we are comfortable and having a good time.  Some ice tea and a drive to the Novotel Beijing Peace Hotel, and we were finally pantless and trying to get over what was quite a traumatic day.

  If I had my way I would never fly China Eastern Air ever again – they were disorganised, the communication was sadly lacking and the staff, both on and off the plane seriously didn’t give a shit that so many foreign passengers had no idea what was going on.  Fuck them.  Fuck them with a rake.

Unfortunately however, our idiot travel agent who booked these open jaw flights has us flying with them again from Shanghai to Hong Kong at the end of this tour.  *grump*

 

Japan Weirdnesses

I have absolutely loved Japan, the people are lovely, the history is fascinating and the culture is incredible.

First thing to note for me personally is that I should only come to Japan in shoulder season or in the winter.  I’m from a subtropical climate, but NOTHING could have prepared me for the humidity here – it’s phenomenal.  People are walking around with mops, sponges and hand towels to constantly wipe the sweat off themselves.  It’s positively stifling… the men in particualr are just about wearing Monty Python hankies on their heads to stay cool, and yet there are plenty of ladies walking around in stockings, heels, blouses and CARDIGANS!  WTF is with that?  Wearing a sweater or cardie when it’s 34C out.  Urgh.  Even when playing tourist in their own country, the Japanese women are teetering around on uneven pavement and cobblestones in stilettos, stockings, skirts and a twin set.  Makes the rest of us in our sneakers and capri pants look excessively dowdy, but in comparison, we also look extremely practical.

Another thing we noticed was all the people wearing face masks to protect themselves from germs and toxins and what not.  This is nothing new, we’ve all seen it in news reports, people have genuine concerns about the air quality so they’re trying to filter what they breather.  But I have seen so many people wearing a face mask who have only got it on covering their mouth and not their nose.  🙂  Which hardly seems effective.   Not to mention we have also seen plenty of these self same people, happily walk into aa crowded smoking room, drop their protective face mask to dangle around their necks while they have a cigarette.  Absolutley absurd.

Some other things we haven’t quite been able to fathom is when to keep left, and when to keep right. It seems that in Japan, you drive on the left, but keep right when walking along streets or pedestrian access areas, EXCEPT when you get on an escalator… at which point you need to stand on the left.  Go figure.

The public transport is excellent for the most part.  Super fast, exceptionally clean, no bums begging for money in the subway (I’m looking at you fucking NYC and Washington DC) and people cram in here just as tightly as they do on the Tube, but with a bit more courtesy.  I don’t take public transport much at home so I probably have no proper frame of reference for this – but nearly EVERYONE is playing little mobile phone games for their transit.  Little Tetris type games, or puzzle games seem to be favourites, though I did sit beside one Japanese lady who was reading Pride and Prejudice on her phone in English (I saw fleetingly that Mr Darcy was asking Lizzy to dance and she had sworn she would never dance with him!) which kinda tickled my finely tuned sense of the absurd.

We noticed that our tour guides for the various city and ship tours we did, appear to be multi-talented … or wanted to appear to be multi-talented or something – but either way they wanted to show us what ever it was they could do. Not quite sure what was going on with this one, but the tour guides always wanted to ‘exhibit’ towards the end of the tour.  One sang us a traditional Shinto wedding ballad in a very operatic style, another played some local music on a weird little Japanese style ocarina type thing… but the true highlight was the strange little dude who was doing magic tricks on the bus on the way back to the ship.  LOL.  I have no idea what all this was about.
Flip phones!  Yeah, what’s with that????  Clam-shell mobile phones seem to be incredibly popular here (thse and iPhones of course).  Haven’t seen many people with clam-shell phones for ages at home, and when you do they tend to be low on features, but here, loads of people have them.  Didn’t bother going shopping to see what brands they were, but they seem to be everywhere.

Ummm… what else.  Trains stations are fun.  Like, literally — fun.  Every time a train pulls in, various ding dongs and bells and whistles go off – they sound just like pokie machines.  And I swear each station has it’s own different noises so that all the people dozing off on the train don’t miss their stops!  🙂   The trains here come in really fast to the station. I am not sure why they do – it’s kinda bizarre that they pull up so hard, but surely it must be a ‘person under the train’ risk.  If you wanted to jump on the tracks as a train was pulling into any station, it would certainly do the trick, they’re coming in that fast.

 We also loved the ‘No up skirt photos’ warning posters on a lot of escalators in train stations.  Particularly prevalent around the Shinjuku and Akhiabara area where cosplayers are frequently spotted around the place.  Mr K fell in love with escalators that went up… then go flat… then go up again.  Sort of a blend of escalator/travelator/escalator type thing.  Should be more of it I say.  Some of the older stations that obviously haven’t been updated or renovated have only steps still, but most of them were very accessible (Not like the NYC Subway I might note).

One of my biggest peeves with Tokyo is the complete ‘no public seating’ policy that seems to be in effect.  You can be at a station waiting for the next train, at a shopping centre just escaping the heat in the air con or even in a public park, and there will not be any seats anywhere that you can just pull up a pew and rest for a minute.  I was told by one of the guides that this is due to the habits of salarymen who have a tendecy to stay in town after work and get drunk, then sleep in the city in their clothes and go straight to work again.  Apparenlty it is quite common (and semi-acceptable) to crash for the night on a park bench… so no benches forces them into cheap tiny hotels or to pack themselves off home.

We have seen a bit of strange behaviour from the business end of town – one night in Shibuya when we were out for dinner with some of Mr K’s work colleagues, it was pissing down rain… and next thing you know the train stations and squares are full of businessmen in suits and GUMBOOTS.  They look so ridiculous, but how tediously practical is that?  To keep a pair of gumboots in your office for just such occasions.  I love it.  The other weirdness that business men are seen doing quite frequently is bowing while having their conversations.  They will stand around and bow constantly at each other, deference flying in all directions, which is lovely and polite and there should be more of it I say… but man does it look strange to see a man on a mobile phone repeatedly bowing to someone unseen on the other end of the phone, just because he habitually bows saying the words he is saying.  Plenty of bowing to invisible/absent people going on.

 What else have we got?  Loads and loads of push bikes everywhere, and hardly any of them are locked up… crime is very low.  BUT, when you got to a restaurant, reception centre, or even some temples, there are long boxes for people to put their umbrellas while they are inside – and those have individual locks so no one can walk off with your umbrella!  Yep, no locking up the bicycles, but definitely lock up your umbrella.  🙂  Speaking of umbrellas, Japanese cities are incredibly clean, but the one thing you can and will find littering the street from time to time, are broken umbrellas.  You can pick them up from any train station kiosk for about $5-6, so it seems these sorts of umbrellas are sort of disposable.  They are as cheap and nasty as they sound, but they do the trick for a while, so when they die, they get discarded and don’t stay in rubbish bins very well.

I noticed that the Emergency service vehicles here sound like air raid sirens – much like air raid sirens from WWII movies that depict people rushing around London grabbing their gas mask boxes, and heading for air raid shelters.  It’s a little disconcerting.
Oh, this one is definitely weird.  I took a cruise on the harbour around Tokyo while the others were climbing Mt Fuji, and I saw a Tokyo city ferry.  The Tokyo ferries look like a UFO fucked a submarines.  Weird. They look very weird.


In Kyoto, the bus drivers have a headset microphone on so they can address the passengers on the bus without raising their voice, which is fine seeing people enter the bus from the rear doors and exit by the front and pay as you get off.  Only problem is that the bus drivers either forget they are wearing them or they just don’t care and when you hear the amplified snorting of a Kyoto bus driver hacking up a loogie from six different speakers, it really makes you wish they didn’t have them things on.

Somthing else we have been often amused and confused by is the ridiculous amount of over packaging that seems to come with every purchase. You might want to buy two lapel pins or three handkerchiefs, that are already in their manufacturers packaging and the store clerk will either wrap each, already plastic wrapped, item in paper, or place each item in another individual plastic bag and then put the whole lot in another plastic bag. Even if you are carrying a backpack or other plastic bag to put it in, they will still insist on giving you yet another bag.

Speaking of shopping – fucking no one, and I mean NO ONE, bar the local Seven-11 or Family Mart, takes credit cards. While many western countries have embraced using Visa or Mastercard for small purchases, Japan seems to flow on a cash economy. Yes, many departent stores, boutique stores and large chains will take your credit card, but most bars, restaurants, souvenir shops, musuem gift shops even, only take cash. Weird. So unless you’re spending a lot of money in expensive stores, or eating in a semi-western restaurant or picking up a few groceries, we found ourselves having to pay for nearly everything with cash.

We noticed that the bus drivers and taxi drivers all seem to favour white gloves while working.  I have no idea why, but they’re often wearing white cotton gloves, like out of place mimes.  Additionally, I reckon nearly all the Taxi drivers are Japanese.  Which is unheard of in the UK, or Australia or the US.  I didn’t meet any obviously foreign taxi drivers (though in fairness, some of them could be Chinese and I wouldn’t necessarily know from the back seat).  Oh, this is gorgeous – most taxis seem to be quite old or rather modeled on an older style of vehicle, but are extremely well maintained and very well presented… I mean doilies on the seat and head rests and sometimes on the inside of the door frames.  Pristine white doilies.

Get out of Toyko where most people rely heavily on the very fast, very clean rail, and you start to notice a few things about the Japanese people and their relationship to cars. Firstly – they’re all tiny, and the ones that aren’t are disproportionately narrow… I mean when you stumble across a Mini Cooper S and think ‘Wow that looks like a big car for some reason’, you know how small most of the cars on the road are.  And because the population is so dense, parking is really creative.  Many residential properties have car lifts so people can park one of their cars on top of their other car. There are so many of these double decker parking lift things in some residential areas you get the impression they must be a really affordable option for parking problems.  Others have taken a different tactic and park their cars INSIDE what are/were shop fronts and restaurants… they initially appear disused but once the car is driven out it looks like itcould be business as usual.

The other car weirdness is peoples’ preparedness to stop anywhere.  In Kyoto, we went down to Gion and a guy in a Mercedes was parked on the side of a busy road (near our favourite okonomyaki store) and when we came back after checking out the lights, the shops, the hanamiachi… he was still parked there!  The driver was gone, but his buddy was in the front passenger seat watching baseball on an in-dash TV system.  No one seemed to think he should move on, and people will just stop seemingly anywhere regardless of how busy the road is.

We had one ‘it’s a small world’ moment in Kyoto (I mean once we were on the ship there were Australians everywhere and we were meeting people from just across down every other day), but the first people we ran into was on a tram in Kyoto.  There was a kid sitting opposite us wearing a Brisbane Lions cap and I pointed it out to the Small Child, who said, “I think he goes to my school”.  I said hello to the familyl and yes, it turns out they are from right around the corner in Cannon Hill and the kid in the Brisbane Lions cap does go to the same school as the Small Child, just a grade level up.  It is a small world… you always seem to run into someone when you are travelling.

And a list of Japanese weirdnesses wouldn’t be complete with an observation or two about the unusual toilets that you find here.  Yes, they are very fancy, and they have a multitude of functions.  The most amusing of the functions in my opinion would be the ‘water sound’ button.  It seems hearing other people pee is so offensive that the toilet will play water running or flushing noises for you so you can empty your bladder and no one has to hear it.  *rolls eyes*  The other thing I noticed is that it can be 35°C and disgustingly humid and sticky, but someone will have the toilet seat warmer on for reasons beyond my ability to comprehend.  Bizarre. And I think there is two types of toilets in Japan – the ultra fancy bidet with massage and spray and works and jerks, or the dreaded squat toilet with no paper. No in between.

And other than that – the only other thing I found truly, wonderfully, absurd was a Japanese man singing karaoke on the ship… he really should have chosen something other than ‘The Crocodile Rock’.  We were laughing so hard we had to back out of Club Fusion quick.

Tokyo Transit Cluster Fuck

Well, there is no doubt about it – transit days always suck.  But this one sucked even worse than usual.  

We felt pretty well sorted – everything was planned well.  However the best laid plans of mice and … Meh. you know the drill.  First thing to happen to us on this transit leg was for our accomodation to get cancelled on us.  Only downside of Airbnb, if something happens, and your booking gets cancelled on you – then you’ve got to scramble.  So the apartment we were going to stay in – something happened, no idea what, and we had to find a new place.  Airbnb were great, they transferred our credit amount and gave us another US$50 to help us find another place on short notice and we did.  It wasn’t in the same part of town, and we had somewhere to stay, but it was a bit of a pain in the arse.  Luckily that was sorted a couple of days ago, but it came back to bite us a bit.

We took a late disembarkation off the ship time so we would have heaps of time to get from Yokahama Pier to Shinjuku where we were now staying.  All good, slept in a bit, went up for breakfast and pottered around to be getting off the ship around 9am.  There was a free shuttle to the JR line, so we jumped on that waited around a while and found ourselves at the train station – whereupon a rapid panic ensued.  The Small Child, the only one with a free hand, had been carrying the stamped walking poles that Mr K, SaucyMary and himself took all the way up Mt Fuji and back… and he had accidentally left them on the shuttle bus in the hustle to get off.  FUCK.

Mr K, ran back to the shuttle stop to try and see if another driver could radio the other drivers and find out where they were.  No go – language barrier BS.  He then decided to taxi back to the pier in the hope he could head off the shuttle before it started his rounds again.  Got half way up the pier, got stuck in a traffic jam, decided to get our and run up the rest of the way (if you’ve ever been to Oshanbashi Pier, you’ll know this is NOT a good plan, expecically not in 34C heat).  He got to the shuttle stop and was trying to communicate with other shuttle bus drivers when one of the pier staff found him and said ‘Are you looking for Fuji poles?’  They had been handed in immediately – much to his relief.  Another taxi back to where I was stuck looking after four suitcases and four backpacks and an hour lost to find poles.  Poor youngin’ felt so guilty about leaving them behind, and I kept telling him that ‘shit happens’, but he was distraught until Dad turned up with the poles in hand.

  
Next we finally made it onto our trains, then switched trains, then found a pair of taxis to take us to our accommodation – and neither cab driver knew where the place was.  It took us a full 30 mins of wandering around tiny back streets and around corners to find the right building let alone figure out the comibination mail box lock BS to get the key out.  Eventually squared that away and dumped our stuff so we could go out for the afternoon.  That took us up until about 1pm of fucking around in the ridiculous heat.  :/

We were going to go do some last minute wandering around at Asakusa … but changed this plan due to the whole ‘well, it’s an outdoor market and it’s blistering hot and humidity’ thing.  Decided to go to Akhiabara instead and try to find the Anime Information Centre and a huge well known shop called, Mandarake, which was shut the last time we were here.  More trains to Akhiabara.  More wandering around in the heat – only to find that the goddamn Anime Information Centre which tells you where all the English anime stores are was CLOSED ON MONDAYS.  Arrrggghh!  So not having a good day.  Expending way too much energy in disgustingly hot conditions for very little reward.

By this stage we were all shattered, so we went looking for somewhere cool to just sit and recuperate for a while. Would you believe we couldn’t find a single place to sit in the air con that wasn’t McDonalds or Starbucks?  There are shopping centres everywhere and large department stores – but not a single one of them has any seating.  None at all.  So McDonalds and Grape Fantas all round while we regrouped and waited for evening booking.

About six weeks ago I booked some tickets for the Robot Restaurant, and we didn’t tell the Small Child, thinking it would make a great suprise for his last night in Tokyo.  It is everything that you expect from Toyko Pop Culture.  Lights, flashing neon, music, dancing, scantily clad wait staff and performers and all the bells and whistles.  We get lost trying to find the place.  I eventually ask some staff members at an electronics store if they know where it is – they don’t, but htey have internet so they look it up for me and set us up in the right direction.  We get there and find a lonely French man wandering around saying ‘I can’t find out how to get in.’  And… neither could we.  

Eventually some staff type people show up and tell us the show is not on.  Langauge barriers again raises it’s ugly head and I’m waving a ticket at them going, ‘what do you mean it’s not on?’  It turns out the Robot Restaurant show was cancelled for four days – our day being one of them – and the booking agent I had purchased tickets through said she had been trying to contact me for a few days to switch our dates.  Oh ferfuckssake.  Could this day get any more screwed up.

So instead of seeing all the lights and fun and weirdness of the Robot Restaurant… we ended up walking around Shinjuku looking for a restaurant that I hadn’t just seen an enormous rat run into.  We landed at a Japanese BBQ place, which was lovely, but it was very quiet and certainly not what we had in mind for the evening.    Yay, another transit day tomorrow.

   
    
   

Grand Japan – Aomori Nebuta Festival

Doing the back to back cruises means we get a second stop in Aomori. Last time here, we did a day trip out to Lake Towada and the Mt Hokkado Ropeways, so this time we decided to go down town and check out the famous Nebuta Museum.

Now there is a ship tour that takes you to this museum, but after a tiny bit research, Mr K found out the Nebuta Museum is marked on the map contained in the Aomori Port Guide supplied by the ship’s Port Expert, not as the Nebuta Musuem but as the ‘Wa Rasse House’… and it is spitting distance from where the free shuttle bus drops you off in town. So passengers can get there easily and cheaply without taking the ship tour. Hmmm. 

Anyway, the entire town is wrapped up in the Nebuta Festival which is occurring all this week and culminating in a large parade that runs all next week. The Nebuta Festival is thought to be a combination of the Chinese Tanabata Festival and the local customs of the Aomori farming community. Both involved lanterns and are believed to have naturally blended together over time. The name ‘Nebuta’ comes from the adjective for ‘sleepy’ in local dialect as the primary goal of the festival is to wake people up during the long hot draining days of summer! We can certainly voucher for that. The festival attracts about 3 million people each year and runs along a parade route of about 3.1km with up to 22 enormous handmade floats.   

  

The Nebuta Museum currently houses about five floats from the most recent festival, and the museum was created to allow people to get a closer look at the floats, as during the chaos of the festival, there is no chance to get up close to them to appreciate the artworks. Each float is nine meters wide, sever meters long and about five meters high.

The creators of the Nebuta floats are actually known as Nebuta artists – this is a full time occupation, and is not a job done solo. The Nebuta artists have a team of craftsmen and electricians who help them turn their artistic visions into reality. It takes an average of three months to make a Nebuta float – sometimes more for the larger, more elaborate floats.

  
    
 
   
    
    
    
    
    

The Nebuta masks on display at the museum were all made by current Nebuta artists, and these apparently are abstracted self portraits, but I am no sure about that. The Festival also engages the ‘haneto’ dancers of region who do plenty of jumping and chanting in time to loud music and lots of drums.

    
    
    
   The entire place is quite amazingly beautiful and so unique, and considering it was barely AU$6 per person in entry fee, was very interesting and well worth stopping in. Due to the festival at the moment there was a large market of street food happening right outside the museum… selling grilled octopus, chicken on a stick, tempura vegetables on a stick, shaved flavoured milk, apple spring rolls (yes, you read that right and they were delicious!), and all sorts of yummy things.