Friend is coming over… husband is on his way home… Mum is en route. Whatever the occasion, whenever someone says to me: ‘I’m on my way. Do you need anything? Bread? Milk?’ I have this urge to ask them to bring something…. Anything!
I think the problem stems from an auditory hallucination of sorts. Because what they are saying is: ‘I’m on my way. Do you need anything?’, but, what I am actually hearing is Robin Williams’ voice as the genie in Aladdin saying, ‘Poof! Whaddaya need? Poof! Whaddaya need? Poof! Whaddaya need?!’
A genie? Hells yes, I feel like I have to ask for something… and if I don’t, then I feel like opportunity came a knocking and I missed my grab at the brass ring! And through my mind goes, something like this –
I need a strawberry Magnum! … but it’s only breakfast time.
I need my air con fixed! …. that seems unlikely on a Wednesday afternoon.
I need a baby! … bit expensive and hard to get on short notice.
I need a cleaner! … probably not obtainable where they are coming from.
I need a massage! … can you get those to take away?
I need a retaining wall! …. might need more than one person for that.
I need goat pies! … damn, it’s not market day.
I need some pain free sleep! … not sure where you get that though.
I need pink hair dye! … hmmm, maybe ‘need’ is a strong word.
I need my car serviced! … should probably take care of that myself.
I need more Qantas Frequent Flyer Points … but who doesn’t.
I need a new refrigerator! … pretty sure that’s not what they had in mind.
So I flounder momentarily for something sensible, tangible and potentially obtainable to tell them to bring with them… and I inevitably answer,
‘Ahhh, nothing. I’m all good.’