I’ve been away in Canberra-Babylon for the weekend and returned to find something off kilter. Things feel quite strange… Something has changed.
It’s peaceful. Quiet. Blessedly silent, even. There’s no ‘fuckin fuckheads’, ‘daleyacunts’ or ‘cocksuckers’ coming from next door. Not even a ‘stupid arsehole’ or ‘fuckin’ idiot’ here or there… what’s going on?!? All I can hear is the hum of the highway in the distance, birds chirping in the trees, the creak of a gate hinge moving in the wind and a light breeze rustling through the leaves. Where’s all the angst and hostility? Where’s all the abusive and offensive language? What’s happened to the daily dose of distasteful discourse we’ve come to detest? Well, I’ll tell you what happened to it…
It packed up its shit, hossed its freight and moved the hell out!!!
That’s right! Victory is ours! Victory is ours! It is a great day to be alive people! And we are drinking deep from the keg of glory!!! Bring us the most disgustingly large Frozen Cokes and all the finest cheeses in the land! For tonight, we celebrate the peace and quiet!
It would appear that Daleyacunt (aka Mr Dale Raymond Hamson) and Fuckin’ Fuckhead (aka Ms Janita Brown), previously of Belmont (w00t!) who told the wise and knowledgeable Magistrate, “That we got nowhere to fuckin’ go yorhonna, wheres we gonna go ta bafore Christmuss?” did actually have somewhere to fuckin’ go… because they have packed up their worldly belongings/trash and have buggered off! And all without a peep. Why they don’t even appear to have said goodbye, sent a parting gift or left a forwarding address… quelle dommage.
And I was SO looking forward to November 1st, which we had already come to think of as ‘Popcorn Day’ and were eagerly counting down until we could send out some invites, BYO lawn chairs and popcorn to watch the miscreants get forcibly removed by big burly law enforcement types. Oh well, so not complaining if it means they’re gone for good!
Oh and PS: Happy Birthday Daleyacunt! I didn’t get you a gift, I didn’t get you a card, hell… I didn’t even get to give you a parting shot. But… it is Dickhead Dale’s birthday today (DOB 22/10/1972) and we had planned to do ‘something’ to mark the occasion, but we seem to have been, fortuitously, deprived of the opportunity. Daleyacunt… where ever you are ‘mate’, we hope you are enjoying being an unemployed and homeless deadshit on top of your usual state of being a violent, abusive, complete waste of oxygen on this, the milestone occasion of your 40th Birthday! Our most sincere and best wishes for your future in Dalby… may someone one day have a 12ga shell with your name on it. 🙂