Don’t sweat the small stuff… Don’t sweat the small stuff… Don’t sweat the small stuff

Posted on February 22, 2010 by borysSNORC

My mornings suck. And by suck, I mean they suck great big hairy sweaty balls kinda suck. First there’s the waking up in dopey state but ever so aware of the fact that I’m in pain… still. Then there’s the monumental effort it takes to get out of fucking bed when all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and forget about the world. The first thing I do is splash cold water on my face to try and feel something other than pain, even if it is just a quick dose of ‘mumble fucking cold water in the face’. Then I have my ‘wake up and shake off the drug induced coma’ drugs. Then force myself to have some very chewy muesli so that my jaw is forced to work which forces me to unclench my teeth that I’ve had clamped tight all night in order to enable things like, Oh I dunno… speech.

And then there is the week day rituals of fighting with the Small Child to get him ready for school. We go through the same thing EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL DAY.

MONDAY
Do you have your school bag packed? Yes
Do you have your diary? Yes
Have you got your homework? Didn’t have any
Your hat? Yes
Packed your lunch? Yes
Had some breakfast? Yes
Have you got your swimming things?
Yeah but I forgot to tell you I have a massive hole in my swimming shirt from last week and can’t wear it.
Oh Ferfucksake!!!!
Race out the door asap to pop into K-Mart to pick up new sun protection swim shirt at the last minute.

TUESDAY:
Do you have your school bag packed? Yes
Do you have your diary? Yes
Have you got your homework? Don’t have any
Your hat? Yes
Packed your lunch? Yes
Had some breakfast? Yes
Ok go put on your shoes and let’s go. Umm, where are my socks??
Oh Ferfucksake!!!!
Fifteen minutes of hunting through the bomb site that is the Small Boy’s bedroom ensues looking for socks matching or otherwise.

WEDNESDAY:
Do you have your school bag? Yes
Do you have your diary? Yes
Have you got your homework? Didn’t have any
Your hat? Yes
Packed your lunch? Yes
Had some breakfast? Yes
Have you got your swimming things? Yes
Ok go put on your shoes and lets go.
Drive to school and
Kiddo.. why is your swimming bag so small? Ummm… I think I forgot my towel again.
Oh Ferfucksake!!!!

THURSDAY:
Do you have your school bag packed? Yes
Do you have your diary? Yes
Have you got your homework? Yes, all done
Your hat? Yes
Packed your lunch? Yes
Had some breakfast? Yes
Ok let’s go… go put on your shoes….
Approx 11am, ‘Hello this is the Small Child’s school, your son hasn’t bought his lunch with him (quick glance to kitchen reveals packed lunch box sitting neatly on counter) can you bring it up for him?
Oh Ferfucksake!!!!

FRIDAY:
Do you have your school bag packed? Yes
Do you have your diary? Yes
Have you got your homework? Didn’t have any
Your hat? Yes
Packed your lunch? Yes
Had some breakfast? Errr, no.
Ok go put on your shoes and… oh you are kidding! Go and eat some breakfast.
Oh Ferfucksake!!!!

If it’s not forgotten socks, it’s shoes that can’t be found. If it’s not a swimming towel that’s forgotten, it’s a library bag left behind. If it’s not breakfast that’s uneaten, it’s junky snack food sneaked into the lunch box instead of fruit. If it’s not a swim shirt with a massive hole in it, it’s a last minute request for a suitable box to make a diorama. If it’s not one stupid thing… it’s just something else. Always.

So is it just me? Am I expecting way too much of a Yr 3 child at 8 and a half years of age to take care of packing his school things himself? He seems to remember just fine when he’s going to play at Grandma’s place to get all his swimming things, his DS, a charger, a stylus, a book, a DVD and other things to play with. He seems able to remember on Tuesdays that he’s going to visit his little mates after school and has the recall to take whatever games and things he said he’d bring last week…

My Mum probably used to do most of this shit for us and there were three of us to get ready, but I’m fairly confident she didn’t get out of bed every morning in so much pain she wishes she’d killed herself the night before instead of just knocking herself out with massive amounts of medication. I’m just so sick of this angsty crap every school day and I am really sick of feeling like we start every day with me in a state of exasperation and him in a semi-permanent state of apology.
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Album Covers Resurface

Posted on February 10, 2010 by borysSNORC

It’s going around again and I’ve done this meme before, but it’s always kinda fun.

1. Go to the "Random Article" link on Wikipedia. Write down the title of the article. This is the name of your band.

2. Go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days”. The third picture will be your album cover.

Put them all together and you get:

Could be I’ve run out of drugs…

Posted on February 8, 2010 by borysSNORC

I just had the most bizarre dream.

My Dad was still alive and he was in the house on Dickenson St with my Mum and the big old camphor laurel tree from over the back was still there and I turned up there after school/work? and was told they were getting rid of the house and were bringing in a block of townhouses to replace it. Now I don’t mean that they were demolishing the house and building some townhouses, they somehow took away the house I grew up in and as if by magic but with lots of sweaty workmen running about a entire complete block of townhouses each about the size of my house but attached were put on the block my parents lived on which let me tell you is physically impossible.

The townhouses were one for them, one for my older sister and one for me… my younger sister having decided that she preferred to stay where she was. We were all so excited to be living back at home but in these huge houses. There were no stairs yet so I had to climb up this rockface (which was very easy and familiar as it was somewhere we used to climb alot when we were at Straddie as kids) and part way up I found a safe. I opened the safe and in it there were lots of old photos from when I was a kid, my old Zippo lighter, and other little knick knacks and treasures from when I was younger which I was showing to an old friend (I don’t know who) and reminiscing over them.

When I finally got into the townhouses, for some reason I expected them to be a bit run down inside or somehow unsubstantial, but everything was all brand new and I remember thinking ‘wow, a suspended concrete floor – that’s a bit full on’ and it was unexpectedly solid given it had just been put there. So I’m going through the place checking out the building, noting there is space for my dining table and that all my furniture will fit in my townhouse and that the other townhouses were just as huge when I run into another (this time identifiable) old friend whom I haven’t seen for a couple of years.

I got the impression he was sort of squatting there but that everyone knew about it and it was okay. He was with some guy I didn’t know and they were both looking after babies. One of the babies was just an infant but my friend was running around after a toddler. We chatted a bit and I asked about his girlfriend and work and nonsense like that. He asked after my family and my sister and I told him my family were out and my sister had gone belly dancing. My friend and I continued to go through the house all interested and excited about the place and everywhere we went he or I would ‘accidentally’ touch each other’s hand or move close to feel the other’s body and then I offered to cook everyone dinner.

I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and my friend was helping me, and we were flirting, bumping into each other and talking when things suddenly turned a bit heated. I leaned into him and he kissed the back of my neck and he picked me up onto the kitchen bench and started kissing me and I was getting all hot and bothered and knew we were about to have sex but I started to get that ‘hey hang on a minute, someone might come in feeling’ when someone did indeed come in and Mr K knocked on my door and woke me up.

Damn his timing! Oh and I am sooooo not telling who the guy was but I will say it was not Edouardo and it was someone I haven’t not thought about in quite a while and haven’t seen since oh… maybe 2005??
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SMSessage conversation today :)

Posted on February 3, 2010 by borysSNORC

I’ve been shopping for a decent computer chair. I suppose it’s something that someone with a bad back ought to have yes? I found a good chair but they’re not so cheap…

RMB: Found a very solid chair with decent lumbar support and steel base $440. Is that too much to spend?

KDB: No such thing as too much with your back.

RMB: You know I heard those lovely Tiffany & Co. Key pendants are good for back pain… 😀

KDB: LoL. I am sure they are. I could try getting you one for your fortieth birthday. If you ever get there. Have to get older to have a fortieth 😛

RMB: Sounds good to me. 🙁

several minutes later…

RMB: Hi all. I’m getting in a few years early to beat the rush, and celebrating my 40th Birthday this weekend!!! Be @ Azerbaijan @ 7pm this Saturday Feb 6th 2010. As usual, cheesy goodness is on me and BYO booze. See you all then! 🙂

KDB: Who did you send that to?!?!

The Lincoln Kennedy Coincidences

Posted on February 2, 2010 by borysSNORC

I’ve seen this several times before, but it never fails to amaze me. Not the actual coincidences themselves, but rather that someone had the time and inclination to sit down and look for them in the first place!

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named “Ford.”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Lincoln was shot in a theatre and the assassin ran to a warehouse…
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theatre…