The nightmares come AFTER the travel!

Alrighty then.  I’m obviously spending too much of my time travelling and/or making travel arrangements at the moment because I woke up this morning feeling like I’d had what could be described as a nightmare, but would probably be accurately designated as a PTSD ‘flashback’!   Our travel later this year has one potentially Frightful Day O’Transit – we fly from Anchorage, Alaska to Las Vegas, Nevada with accommodation check outs and check ins, and dropping off and picking up of rental cars at each end too.  The flight unfortunately leaves Anchorage at 12:35am (‘cos we had a choice of three flights that all left between midnight and 2am… apparently that’s just when they fly out of bum-fuck Alaska!), and takes three hours to Seattle, stops there for two hours and then another three hours to Las Vegas. Where we are set to arrive at 08:20am local time!  No doubt we will be moderately to completely stuffed from the sleep deprivation.  But at the end of this particularly arduous travel leg is a very fancy resort/hotel, with a deluxe suite, massage therapists, views of the strips, swimming pools, pillow mints and cocktails too swanky to need little umbrellas!  So I’m cautiously optimistic that we shall survive the ordeal relatively intact…

However, this morning’s ‘flashback’ refers to one of the most horrid days I have ever spend travelling.  I have to say ‘one of’, because I have endured several simply horrendous travel experiences – including (but not limited to) off the top of my head: a ridiculously long 40 hour transit from Quetta, Pakistan to Brisbane, Australia which included 9 hours of being locked OUT of the Islamabad International Airport, surrounded by men leering at the blonde Western Whore; a 15 hour bus drive into Istanbul (whereupon we got lost) with at least a dozen fellow travellers vomiting and shitting everywhere, all of whom having been stuck down with some acute gastro bug; and an unexpected layover in Bahrain (while dressed in shorts and singlet top!), that involved body searches and AK-47s at the airport, enroute to London, due to a passenger having a heart attack on the plane over Tehran!

But this ‘flashback’ was about Edinburgh… It was 1995 and we had been travelling for about four or five months through Europe.  We had done a 70 day Grand European Tour, a quick week pisshead’s drinking tour around Wales and a great week or so in Ireland where we travelled from historical sites and pubs, to more historical sites and more pubs!  Ireland was awesome.  Getting there however – by car – was less so.   We had a Plan – I have no idea whose Plan it was any more… and besides, it was so very long ago, we probably shouldn’t be bothered placing blame at this stage; that is to say, I may, or may not, have been partially or completely responsible for the Plan in question, as I have no recollection of the lead up to these events.  So yes, a Plan to leave Dublin via vehicular ferry, and then drive directly to Edinburgh without Passing Go and definitely no Collecting £200.  Sounds okay, right?  Until I mention that the vehicular ferry left Dublin at 03:00am and the crossing to Holyhead (near Bangor) took approx. 3 hours via ferry, which was then followed up by a 640km, 8hr drive to Edinburgh… a trip for which I was the only licensed driver!  :/

accommodation fuck up travel plans screwed

But as arduous as that particular schedule was, nothing could prepare us for the monumental fuck up that occurred when we arrived, exhausted and bedraggled, early evening in Edinburgh.  Back in the day – before everyone had internets, before we all used email everyday, before tripadvisor.com, before airline online booking systems, before tripit.com, hell, before everyone had global roaming mobile phones! – one used to make their travel arrangements through what we used to quaintly refer to as a ‘travel agent’.  And we had one back in Brisbane who had made all our plans and whom we had been visiting for months leading up to our big trip handing her huge wads of cash.  Her name might have been Tracy, and she had booked our flights, our 70 day Top Deck tour, our car hire and about three places where we definitely needed to have accommodation sorted before we got there… one of those places was Edinburgh – because we planning be there in the middle of the Edinburgh Festival to see the Military Tattoo.   Somewhere along the line, BigSal had contacted Tracey (via exorbitantly expensive international phone calls) and asked her to extend our stay at the Edinburgh hotel we had booked… we had an address, but no direct phone contact details and the booking had to be altered by the travel agent apparently.  Anyway, we arrive in Edinburgh in one piece, having braved the nightmarish and treacherously wet, M1 and having just traversed about half the length of the UK, eyes hanging out of our heads and ready for a quick meal, a pint and an early night… only to find that Tracey had fucked up big time.  Instead of extending our reservation by an extra day, there had been a communication break down, and she had CANCELLED IT!

And of course being Festival, everywhere, I mean absolutely everywhere… was completely booked out.  Fark!!!  Stranded in Edinburgh at their busiest time of year with no where to stay.  However, while I vaguely remember being extremely tired and extremely pissed off at someone who was 15,000kms away and uncontactable, I clearly remember BigSal completely losing her shit.  The poor guy behind the concierge desk at the hotel we thought we were staying at was calling around to other hotels and hostels looking for a room for us, but that all came to naught.  BigSal was in tears, calling around only to discover that of course it’s the middle of the night in Australia, and also desperately calling hostels herself trying to find us a room, and we were standing around on the footpath of this place… three totally exhausted and clueless, stranded Aussie chicks who knew no on in Edinburgh… wondering what the bloody hell we were going to do, as it was starting to get rather dark.

And then, out of nowhere came a knight in shining armour… well, an Austrian in a rented Audi, but you get the idea.  He too, thought he had made a reservation with the same hotel, but somewhere things had gone awry with his booking also.  However, having been a frequent visitor to Edinburgh, he had a few tricks up his sleeve.  He called a few B&Bs and eventually, said to us, “Ladies, don’t cry,” (this to BigSal who was absolutely at the end of her rope!), “I have found us rooms… just follow me.”  So without questioning his directions, his motives, his contacts, or the price!  We did just that.  And after a short drive across town found ourselves in an overpriced B&B with a dodgy but clean, triple room just for us.  So exhausted, so relieved.  I could have kissed him…  I probably did.

Let’s hope the upcoming Anchorage —> Las Vegas leg bears as little resemblance to that particular debacle as humanly possible!

PS:  Once we were sufficiently revived by cider and pizza and a decent nights’ sleep… Edinburgh was fabulous, the Tattoo was awesome and the Fringe Festival was also very cool!

Scotland Edinburgh Festival Fringe Festival Accommodation

Canberra Plus-atives and Minus-ives.

Yesterday I noted that I am often in the habit of writing a list of things that I really liked about places I have visited as well as another list of the things I am not so fond of… and a friend pointed out that even though I have travelled to Canberra on more occasions than I can count, I have never done a ‘Canberra Pros & Cons’ list.  No doubt this list is highly influenced by my friends and the sorts of things we tend to do when I get to town.  So here goes:

Things I like about Canberra…
There’s absolutely no traffic compared to Brisbane – awesome sauce!
The National Gallery of Australia gets all the really sexy art exhibitions.
The CBD is fairly flat and compact for walking/getting around.
Everything feels relatively close, short walk to here, short walk to there.
Poachers Pantry is but a short drive away.  😉
Easy access: fancy new airport takes about 2 mins to traverse from end to end.
They have a cool hot air balloon festival, and I love hot air balloons!
It’s a relatively small city so feels quick and easy to get out of town.
Is a goodly proximity to Sydney, without being too close of course.
Plenty of good restaurants, cafes and bars (maybe too many!)
Close to snow and ski fields and fun winter stuff.
For the most part, very clean city – feels ‘new’ and not that much graffiti.
Lots of nationally significant places… War Memorial etc, Old Parliament House etc.
People tend to be politically aware and have informed opinions – yay!
Doesn’t matter where they move it, CBR is always closer to Festival than BNE.
Most of the suburbs are very green and leafy and feel quaint.
Bonus: it’s a complete sausage fest. Men outnumber the women, big time.

Canberra House of Representatives

Things I don’t like about Canberra…
It gets really fucking cold.  Period.
The CBD often feels a bit bleak; grey concrete bunkers, grey suits, grey skies.
They hide their petrol stations and you can drive for ages to find them.
Anyone not wearing a lanyard/security passes immediately looks like a tourist.
Dining out culture is expensive and unhealthy – always eat out too much in CBR.
Hospitality staff tend towards the snobby side unless they know you!??
Sensitivity towards indigenous communities is completely over the top in CBR.
Yet the names of most suburbs are as Anglo as they come.
Always feels like I’m positively desiccating from the low humidity.
Canberra’s ‘National Zoo’ has hardly any Australian animals in it! (getting better though).
People can be weird about their security clearance levels – Canberra oneupmanship?
Once you’ve done the tourist traps there’s not a lot to do.
Australian National University’s Medieval history department is non-existent.
You can’t eat the seafood – imho, the ocean is too far away!

So many trips to Canberra, and so many good times.  Yet, very little of it stems from the city itself and Canberra has to offer.  It has a good deal more to do with having so many wonderful friends living down there.  I imagine I could easily live in Canberra (so long as I had a house with a really good heating system!), but again, it would be for the same reasons.   We have so many really good friends in Canberra, whose company I really enjoy… not because I like the climate or the lifestyle that the city offers.  🙂

Melbourne Ups and Downs

Back home again after an exhilarating yet exhausting week.  I would normally have written on the way home at some point, but it was a quick and harried journey.  I have been to Melbourne several times before… on my way to go to Hobart via the old Abel Tasman, on my way to a cruise ship to go around New Zealand, on my way to visit a friend in Ocean Grove, and on my way to the Great Ocean Road.  So it has always been a bit of a ‘stay one night and jump off to somewhere else’ destination.  Which meant the jury was pretty much still out as to whether or not I actually liked the place.

Things I Liked About Melbourne:
There’s a pub on nearly every corner
Very strong visual arts culture
Cool blend of old and modern architecture
Clean beaches so close to the city
Awesome restaurants absolutely everywhere
Friendly hospitality staff
St. Kilda and Acland St. rocks
Queen Victoria Market’s delis, say no more
Live music nearby every night
Funky urban photo ops all over the place
Older suburbs have gorgeous quaint townhouse rows
Civic art that doesn’t look like it’s trying too hard
Awesome second hand bookshops
Shopping centres have discovered Dyson AirBlades
Fairly flat and easy to walk around (where I stayed anyway)
Lots of totally cool and creative graffiti

melbourne lifestyle what's on

Things I Did Not Like About Melbourne:
There’s a pub on nearly every corner
SMOKING in al fresco cafes and restaurants!
Smoking outside shops and in public thoroughfares!
The trams were on my fucking road
Grumpy or completely ambivalent retail staff
Traffic sucks almost as bad as Brisbane
Bogans – lots of bogans
Needs more free wi-fi (but most of Aust does)
Nothing seems to open until 10am… what’s with that?
The overhead tramlines are unsightly
Heaps of hippie swamp rat types everywhere
Iconic places not signposted – like the Brighton Beach bathing boxes
The water at the beach was too cold for swimming in mid-summer!
Too many passed out drunks to step over by midday
Most public toilets needed attention/upgrading (not Turkey bad, but still)
Tap water needs more chlorine or fluoride or something; tastes terrible
There was a decided lack of bacon in my visit…
Lots of totally crappy eyesore graffiti

Overall, I really enjoyed Melbourne this trip.  The ANZAMEMS conference was awesome and, much like a geek going to Supernova or something, I felt like these were ‘my people’.  The panels were fantastic, but it was impossible to attend all the lectures I wanted to see, and it was full of intellectually engaging people discussing their unique and unusual work and ideas, and using LOTS of big words!  (it’s the little things)

Staying in St Kilda was a great plan – the area has a fantastic feel to it… a bit like Byron Bay crossed with Fortitude Valley or New Farm.  Plenty of cafes, bars and restaurants, funky shopping, live entertainment, markets, quaint little back streets and all a stones throw from the Esplanade and the beach.  It was also a decent proximity from Monash and the city, not too far out and not so close as to be the ‘aargh, I’m in the middle of the noisy dirty city’ bit, found in large cities the world over.  The only thing I didn’t really ‘get’ about St. Kilda were all the patisseries on Acland Street… it seemed about one in every four shops was another chocolatier, bakery or cake store and either the people around those parts are totally in for the adult onset type II diabetes or half of these shops would be out of business!  I’m not really a sweet tooth and stayed a week in the area and tried only half of one vanilla slice thingy and none of the fancy chocolates, so the Acland Street CakeWalk was totally wasted on me.

All up I reckon I could live in Melbourne… on that side of town anyway.

I ruthlessly played the Aussie ‘Mate’ Card for fun and profit today.

How excitement!  I got tickets this morning for three of the Cirque du Soleil shows that we want to see in Vegas.  Given we were buying tickets for so many shows, I emailed the Las Vegas, Cirque du Soleil Customer Service team to find out if we could get some discounts or get access to a more personalized seat selections than just picking ‘Best Available’ in the online checkout systems.  A lovely lady named Stephanie emailed me back and gave me some customer service phone numbers to call – here they are if anyone else happens to be looking to book Cirque tickets in Vegas in the near future:

1-800-963-9634 or 00-1-702-531-3800.
and they’re open 7 days a week from 6am-11pm PST.

So I got up stupid early to call them in mid-afternoon and spoke to a very friendly guy named Salvatore, that would be Salvatore with the sexy Latino accent.  I told Salvatore which shows I wanted to see and he started off helpful choosing seats for me that weren’t in the highest price brackets ($198 per person per show was going to get pretty expensive pretty damn quick!) and we started off looking for tickets for “O” (named for being French for water / ‘eau’ apparently) which supposedly has been THE Las Vegas show ticket for several years now.

o poster cirque du soleil tickets seating

water cirque du soleil eau tickets

Salvatore originally found us some tickets in the front row of the first balcony for $156 each which was okay I guess… but I asked him about the lower orchestra seats availability and he said they go up to between $177 and $198… gulp.  Then he said he could get me row “J” for the $156 price which sounded a bit better.

So I said (deliberately hamming it up here), “That sounds awesome, mate!  I am so looking forward to going to these shows they’re the only reason we are coming to Vegas!”
He laughed and said “Mate?”
I, of course, said “Oh yeah sorry, I’m actually calling from Australia!”
“Australia?” says Salvatore “Wow, ok, let me see if I can do any better.  Hang on a sec, ma’am.”.
“Call me Borys.  :)”
“Hmmm… well, I can get you some tickets in Row F and the best price I can do is $138 each on those.”
“Salvatore, that’s fantastic! (slight pause)  What else have you got?”

high res O theatre seating mapSee that pink star?  That’s right… that’s where we will be sitting!  So we go through a similar rigmarole over the other two shows that we want to see that are operated through the MGM Las Vegas Group.  Next was Ka, which is more traditional Cirque but with a variety of martial arts flavours thrown in from what I understand.

tickets Las Vegas shows

Ka seating plan

So then Salvatore did his magic with the seating plan again and he gave us a really solid discount on ticket prices again AND he put us in the SIXTH ROW centre!  Go Salvatore!  You’re on a roll…!  See that little pink star?  Yep.  That’s gonna be us!

cirque du soleil ka MGM Grand seating planNext we moved onto the very very saucy 18+ Vegas version of Cirque du Soleil called Zumanity at the New York New York Hotel.  This is supposed to be ‘the Sensual Side of Cirque’ but I have a feeling it’s the dance, acrobatics, athleticism, music and choreography of the Cirque but crossed with the some Rocky Horror style Vegas nudity, bling and smut thrown in.  Definitely foresee this being a night of fun with lots of cocktails…

zumanity seating chart zumanity high res seating chart

And by the Salvatore and I had finished our small talk about this particular show and how much fun he said it was… this is where our tickets ended up.  Again at a bargain discounted price!
Zumanity seating saucy sexy showWoo-hoo!  All up a very productive phone call to Salvatore which saved us not only nearly $400 and gave us some of the best seats in the house for each show, but also saved us from the Beatles ‘Love’ show or the Criss Angel show which are usually the only ones which aren’t sold out by the time people hit town… and all because I played up the clueless little Aussie chick thing.  :S

Thanks Salvatore!  You’re a gem… and I’m sorry, I still don’t like being called ‘mate’ but I’m not above using it whenever it’s going to help.  Tonight, I am the Queen of Tickets!