All things in moderation.

The Pain Clinic is over and I get to say ‘good bye, good luck and good riddance’ to the other painful people… so now the tough stuff begins. They’ve developed a program for me designed to eventually build strength and flexibility in my somewhat fucked back. It was supposed to be a gym program, but because I’m having issues driving right now, they’ve redesigned the program to suit being done at home! Bonus… at least I won’t have to deal with panic attacks just to get to the gym and back.

Now I’m probably showing my age here, but every time I think of doing a gym work out I get this vivid mental picture of a rather young and extremely perky Olivia Newton John singing ‘Physical’… and she’s got that fantastic early 80s hairdo and one of those high cut 80s leotards and the quintessential 80s legwarmers with matching tricolour plaited sweatband !!!

Let’s get physical, physical
I wanna get physical
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk

Usually I like Rammstein or something to exercise to – dangerous though that can be… as I learned this week.  On Wednesday after I ripped the silly bint Tracey a new one, I set off power walking down by the river at the clinic and didn’t look up until I was about 2kms away.  By which time I realized that my shins were absolutely killing me from the ridiculous pace of the music and subsequent effect on walking speed.  Blame it on the Bint or blame it on the Benzin – either way I think I might have been better served with Olivia’s crappy pop workout mantra as more moderate exercise music over the German industrial metal.   😐

Valium + Red wine = ?????

I must not chat when trashed
I must not chat when trashed
I must not chat when trashed
I must not chat when trashed
I must not chat when trashed
I must learn to heed this advice…..

borysSNORC ™         i have wet hair
borysSNORC ™         and cool mints
Yaleman:                 lol
borysSNORC ™         wot
Yaleman:                 why do you have wet hair?
borysSNORC ™         Geydorhaoy this morning.
borysSNORC ™         grrr
borysSNORC ™         hydritgerapy
borysSNORC ™         fuck
borysSNORC ™         hydrothrapey
borysSNORC ™         h y d r o t h e r a p y
borysSNORC ™         :S
Yaleman:                 lol
borysSNORC ™         cool mint? moth ball?
borysSNORC ™         cool mint? moth ball?
borysSNORC ™         cool mint? moth ball?
borysSNORC ™         no one knows 😐


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New steps! New steps!

I actually heard a new word yesterday…. admittedly one that won’t come out over the dinner table with any frequency, but I realized that it just doesn’t happen as often as it should.   Which probably means I’m not challenging myself with my daily reading material… given that lots of that reading material is on the internets, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Only problem… too many “P”s so I can’t put it on the fridge.  It has three “P”s and my fridge magnet letter kit only has two “P”s..  It’s not like you can cheat and switch out a “S” with a “Z” or anything so I can’t put up any words with three “P”s… and now that I think about that…. there’s heaps of them… pepper, poppa, puppy, poppy, pepperoni, pappa, puppet, puppeteer, pipper, preppy, popper, poppet, propped, prepped and god knows what else.

Ahh….. have just remembered that I have another kit of alphabet letters in the Emergency Present box.  Maybe I’ll just have to keep them instead 🙂
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“Oh Bugger” said Pooh

And the pain, pain, pain comes down, down, down
such crushing dreadful feelings
And the pain sweeps all right through my spine
and creeps into my dreamings

Poor Borys she was frightened
And in quite a rightful plight
And so in desperation
More tablets she did bite
She crawled into the bottles
and they drugged her out of sight

And the pain, pain, pain comes down, down, down
As Borys started flailing
She was unaware o’er top her prayer
While flailing she was failing

And the pain, pain, pain comes down down down
And the aches and spasms are fuckers
Borys was caught and so she thought
I must rescue my uppers

Ten pain killers she rescued
Enough to see her through
But as she downs her tablets
the worse the pain just grew…

And the pills just twirl and toss her, making brains all full of goo.

And the pain, pain, pain comes down, down down…..
and it seems never ending.

sempiternity
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This too is just a really pretty meadow….

It is a strange little quirk of human nature that we sometimes quote memorable lines from movies to evoke a particular feeling or relevant sentiment…. and it’s strange how some screen moments stay with you forever and others are gone by the time the credits roll.  I think I must be one of those people who quote movies a lot because I find I often have to explain myself when the reference is lost on someone.  I’m not sure why I do this – I like to think it’s because I appreciate an elegant turn of phrase but it’s probably more likely due to having a sense of humour that has a fine appreciation for the absurd.  Who knows… but it does seem to happen quite frequently.

For example.. every time I hear someone saying the word ‘charisma’… I get an instant replay of Pauly Shore as Crawl in Son In Law saying “You’ve got ka-riz-ma” and Becca says “What’s that?” (referring to the screwdriver he has in his hand) and Crawl answers “A special quality of leadership that captures the popular imagination and inspires allegiance and devotion.”  And I have to bite my tongue from uttering that definition!

In our house the phrase:  “It was just a really pretty meadow” is regularly doled out to hang shit on someone who has just related a particularly boring or redundant story thanks to the phrase being used in the movie Threesome by a doe-eyed blonde bimbo who told an insipid little tale over the dinner table to her sarcastic and dry witted dinner companions.  Threesome is also responsible for the “I need new shoes” quote being associated with a sense of unidentifiable emotional disquiet … Oh and let’s not forget the “She’s so sweet” which gets trundled out when we find ourselves describing someone of doubtful intellectual capacity. (God we’re horrible).

Another one heard with alarming regularity at Chez Borys is the Eddie Izzardism “Are you happy with your wash?” from Unrepeatable…. which has become a generic phrase of enquiry as to satisfaction with someone’s purchase or particular project.  This one goes something like,  “I finally finished making my flemish gown” … “Cool.  Are you happy with your wash?” or maybe “I just got a new mobile phone.”  …. “Excellent! Are you happy with your wash?” and so on and so forth.  There’s many other Izzardisms in our everyday vocabulary too – “Bunch of flowers!” (used when presenting anything with a flourish) and  “Cake or death?” (when offering anyone a choice between two of anything)  and my favourite “Help!!! I’m covered in Bees!!!” (when overwhelmed in the kitchen/office/workplace etc).

So all these little in jokes are all good and well… until you someone new comes into your social circle and then you find yourself constantly explaining your little idioms and wanting to inflict all your favorite old movies etc on them so they will understand why you’re blurting out Pride and Prejudice quotes like “All young ladies are accomplished… they sing, play, dance, speak French and German, sew screens and I know not what!” at irregular intervals at dinner parties.   Perhaps we should just try and speak more in plain English :S


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