A husband and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away.
His wife glares at him and demands, “Who was that?!”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress.”
The wife says, “That’s it! I want a divorce!”
“I understand,” replies her husband, “but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours.”
Just as the wife is about to say something, she notices a mutual
friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. “Who’s that
woman with Jim?” she asks.
“That’s his mistress,” replies her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” says the wife.
I’ve been catching up with the technologies over the last few months since I started blogging again. Got me a Twitter account… not that I say much, but it exists and I get all my news in 140 characters or less from BBC World and The New York Times which suits me to a tee! I also have a Linked In thing, but I’m still trying to figure out how to make that work for me. The Klout account experiment has kinda died (predictably) in the arse, but I’ve been having a lot of fun with my FourSquare account.
Now it might be my profile picture (same as the one on this blog) but I started getting lots of requests from guys with mega hot abs and butts adding me as friends! And who am I to say no to guys with six packs and buns you could bounce pennies off… so I now have a tonne of friends from all around the world who pop up on FourSquare and they check in to some crazy cool places. Then the weekends rolled round and I noticed a bit of a trend… lots of check ins at gay clubs! Awesome… I don’t care if they’re straight, gay, bi, trans, whatever… hot abs in my friends’ feed – so not complaining! 😀
So I started taking notes on some of the names of these clubs and some of them are fabulous and oh so subtle… here are some of my favourites:
Full Frontal Disco
The Tool Shed
Hot Boy Central
Hole In The Wall
Bum Bum Bar
Don’t Tell Mama
Oil Can Harry’s
Le Boy Bar
Which makes me wonder, if I was going to open my own open minded club… what would I call it???
“You’ve pulled my whole life apart and thrown it all over the table, then told me to put it back together… but I don’t even know what that looks like anymore.”
Why is it that so many people feel the need to stick their nose into everyone else’s bedrooms? Why is being gay still such a divisive issue in the 21st century? Shouldn’t we be more worried about war? poverty? gendercide? cancer? alzheimers? the chronic and systemic negligence towards our planets fragile natural resources? Surely just about any major problem facing modern society and future generations should carry more import, gain more press, and attract more political debate than who is fucking whom?
Recently on Gay Pride day (before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, I don’t begrudge people the right to stand up and say proudly ‘this is who I am’ if they are so inclined to do so), which was apparently a couple of days ago on June 25th , Nabisco, maker of the iconic Oreo placed this image on their Facebook page…
And then they got swamped by a tirade of bilious and hateful commentary as well as vitriolic threats of product boycotting. Oh. My. God. The sheer volume of bigotry, the complete intolerance, the unadulterated hatred that spewed forth from the masses aimed at a cookie company! I was appalled and disgusted and yet kept reading… it’s like watching a medieval inquisition unfolding on Facebook all this prejudice and hate a good deal of which was hidden behind religious and/or biblical rhetoric – it’s unbelievable.
And I simply do not understand it at all. Why do these fucking zealots even care? Why don’t they mind their own business? Why do these people give a flying fuck about who other people choose to love?
People should be allowed to love anyone and everyone who is going to make them happy (male or female… or bit of Column A/bit of Column B). Railing against a fucking cookie manufacturer is not going to make one whit of difference! IT MAKES NO SENSE!