Sprichst du Deutsch?

Today the little DuoLingo app told me I’ve been spending way too much time on my phone trying to learn German, and then French, and then back to German again. It’s helpful, I can read a lot more than last time I spent any time in Germany, but it’s not as useful in the way that I had always hoped. I mean, I’ve been at this for years now and am nowhere near able to hold casual conversations when meeting new people.

I can manage targeted conversations: “Hello, I’d like to order the x, y, z, please.” or “I’d like two tickets please, one adult and one student.” or “Excuse me, is this seat free?” or even, “We need a car park, can you help me?” … but when it comes to chatting about the weather, what someone does for work, or even interacting with sales people to buy a new winter jacket in the right size, and ‘oh, is this on sale?’ Not so much.

And every time I try to start a conversation with someone in German, they can immediately tell I’m not a native speaker and will either respond with “English?”, or just reply in English because I assume it’s quicker for them as their English is way better than my German! So practice is hard to come by, even in those everyday transactional sorts of conversations. More and more I’m finding that people speak English wherever we go now, so having local language skills aren’t as necessary as they were 30 years ago.

I’m hoping English isn’t taking over the world… I mean, if one language has to, I’m glad it’s the one super weird one that I’m completely fluent in! But I think the rapacity with which English is become so globally pervasive is a symptom of the Internet Age. So surely that can’t end anywhere good!


EDITED TO ADD: Local language skills still very much needed!

We got to talking with the man in front of us at the Rammstein concert – he was named Sasha and seemed super excited to meet some Australians who had come all the way to Austria for the concert… said we ‘win the people who travel the most far!’ He was so excited he added BigSal on Facebook and wanted to tag himself in a photo with her… which she obliging did.

Only then she looked up her new ‘friend’ and found she was his new ‘comrade’ in a post that said:


So, yeah… a little bit of Googling later and it seems our conversational skill were good enough for us to accidentally make friends with some full on Nazi white supremacist wanker, and then everything he said to us after that I enthusiastically translated for Sal as : “Ja! I fucked a horse in Berlin!”, because we obviously had no idea what he was saying to us at all!

America… are you okay?

In 1997 I made my first trip to the US. Upon going through Immigration, a largish and somewhat surly black female border control officer told me:

“You can not stay here on this visa. You have to go home, you know that right?”

Being a relatively young solo traveller, I didn’t yet know that border control is the one place you just smile and nod no matter what. Instead I responded with a rather jet-lagged and kinda lippy:

“Why the hell would I want to say here? I’m Australian.”

One very filthy look, and one super aggressively stamped passport, later – I was processed and allowed to enter the country.

In March this year, Trump touted there would be an estimated 60,000 US deaths from Covid-19 by August, however this number has been exceeded in APRIL already. The new projection Trump is embracing shows 74,000 deaths by August now… but the way things are going, they will hit that (and then some) before mid-May, not months from now in August. 😢

At this time, in the middle of this pandemic* I’ve never been so glad to be Australian and my heart is just breaking for our American friends.

* even with our stupid and hypocritical PM insisting that schools should reopen without sufficient evidence that there are no long term detrimental health impacts for children exposed to coronavirus.

80 Interesting Facts About Australia

1. Australia is as wide as the distance between London to Moscow.
2. The biggest property in Australia is bigger than Belgium.
3. More than 85% of Australians live within 50km of the coast.
4. In 1880, Melbourne was the richest city in the world.
5. Gina Rinehart, Australia’s richest woman, earns $1 million every half hour, or $598 every second.
6. In 1892, a group of 200 Australians unhappy with the government tried to start an offshoot colony in Paraguay to be called ‘New Australia’.
7. The first photos from the 1969 moon landing were beamed to the rest of the world from Honeysuckle Tracking Station, near Canberra.
8. Australia was the second country in the world to allow women to vote (New Zealand was first).
9. Each week, 70 tourists overstay their visas.
10. In 1856, stonemasons took action to ensure a standard of 8-hour working days, which then became recognised worldwide.
11. Former Prime Minister Bob Hawke set a world record for sculling 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Hawke later suggested that this was the reason for his great political success.
12. The world’s oldest fossil, which is about 3.4 billion years old, was found in Australia.
13. Australia is very sparsely populated: The UK has 248.25 persons per square kilometre, while Australia has only 2.66 persons per square kilometre.
14. Australia’s first police force was made up of the most well-behaved convicts.
15. Australia has the highest electricity prices in the world.
16. There were over one million feral camels in outback Australia, until the government launched the $19m Feral Camel Management Program, which aims to keep the pest problem under control.
17. Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia (mostly for meat production).
18. Qantas once powered an interstate flight with cooking oil.
19. Per capita, Australians spend more money on gambling than any other nation.
20. In 1832, 300 female convicts mooned the governor of Tasmania. It was said that in a “rare moment of collusion with the Convict women, the ladies in the Governor’s party could not control their laughter.”
21. Australia is home to the longest fence in the world. It is 5,614 km long, and was originally built to keep dingoes away from fertile land.
22. Australia was one of the founding members of the United Nations.
23. Melbourne is considered the sporting capital of the world, as it has more top level sport available for its citizens than anywhere else.
24. Before the arrival of humans, Australia was home to megafauna: three metre tall kangaroos, seven metre long goannas, horse-sized ducks, and a marsupial lion the size of a leopard.
25. Kangaroos and emus cannot walk backward, one of the reasons that they’re on the Australian coat of arms.
26. Speaking of, Australia is one of the only countries where we eat the animals on our coat of arms.
27. If you visited one new beach in Australia every day, it would take over 27 years to see them all.
28. Melbourne has the world’s largest Greek population outside of Athens.
29. The Great Barrier Reef is the planet’s largest living structure.
30. And it has it’s own postbox!
31. The male platypus has strong enough venom to kill a small dog.
32. And when the platypus was first sent to England, it was believed the Australians had played a joke by sewing the bill of a duck onto a rat.
33. Before 1902, it was illegal to swim at the beach during the day.
34. A retired cavalry officer, Francis De Grootstole the show when the Sydney Harbour Bridge officially opened. Just as the Premier was about to cut the ribbon, De Groot charged forward on his horse and cut it himself, with his sword. The ribbon had to be retied, and De Groot was carted off to a mental hospital. He was later charged for the cost of one ribbon.
35. Australia has 3.3x more sheep than people.
36. Prime Minister Harold Holt went for a swim at Cheviot Beach, and was never seen again.
37. Australia’s national anthem was ‘God Save The King/Queen’ until 1984.
38. Wombat poop is cube shaped! This helps it mark its territory.
39. European settlers in Australia drank more alcohol per capita than any other society in history.
40. The Australian Alps receive more snowfall than Switzerland.
41. A kangaroo is only one centimetre long when it is born.
42. Sir John Robertson, a five-time premier of NSW in the 1800s, began every morning with half a pint of rum. He said: “None of the men who in this country have left footprints behind them have been cold water men.”
43. The Box jellyfish has killed more people in Australia than stonefish, sharks and crocodiles combined.
44. Tasmania has the cleanest air in the world.
45. The average Aussie drinks 96 litres of beer per year.
46. 63% of Australians are overweight.
47. Australia is ranked second on the Human Development Index (based on life expectancy, income and education).
48. In 2005, security guards at Canberra’s Parliament House were banned from calling people ‘mate’. It lasted one day.
49. In Australia, it is illegal to walk on the right-hand side of a footpath.
50. Australia is the only continent in the world without an active volcano.
51. Aussie Rules footy was originally designed to help cricketers to keep fit in the off-season.
52. The name ‘Kylie’ came from an Aboriginal hunting stick, similar to the boomerang.
53. 91% of the country is covered by native vegetation.
54. The largest-ever victory in an international football match was when Australia beat American Samoa 31-0 in 2001.
55. There are 60 designated wine regions in Australia.
56. Melbourne has been ranked the world’s most liveable city for the past three years.
57. If all the sails of the Opera House roof were combined, they would create a perfect sphere. The architect was inspired while eating an orange.
58. Australia is home to 20% of the world’s poker machines.
59. Half of these are found in New South Wales.
60. Moomba, Australia’s largest free festival, held in Melbourne, means ‘up your bum’ in many Aboriginal languages.
61. No native Australian animals have hooves.
62. The performance by the Sydney Symphony Orchestra at the 2000 Olympics opening ceremony was actually a prerecording- of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.
63. The wine cask (goon sack) is an Australian invention
64. So is the selfie.
65. Durack, Australia’s biggest electorate, is larger in size than Mongolia.
66. The world’s first compulsory seat belt law was put into place in Victoria in 1970.
67. Each year, Brisbane hosts the world championships of cockroach racing.
68. In 1932, the Australian military waged war on the emu population of Western Australia. Embarrassingly, they lost.
69. Canberra was created in 1908 as a compromise when Sydney and Melbourne both wanted to be the capital city.
70. A gay bar in Melbourne won the right to ban women from the premises, because they made the men uncomfortable.
71. In 1992, an Australian gambling syndicatebought almost all the number combinations in a Virginia lottery, and won. They turned a $5m purchase into a $27m win.
72. Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable, meaning gum trees may explode if ignited, or in bushfires.
73. In 1975, Australia had a government shutdown, which ended with the Queen firing everyone and the government starting again.
74. A bearded Australian was removed from a darts match in the UK, after the audience started chanting ‘Jesus!’ at him, distracting the players.
75. There have been instances of wallabiesgetting high after breaking into opium crops, then running around and making what look like crop circles.
76. An Australian man once tried to sell New Zealand on eBay.
77. In 1940, two aircraft collided in midair, in NSW. Instead of crashing, the two planes became stuck together and made a safe landing.
78. The male lyrebird, which is native to Australia, can mimic the calls of over 20 other birds. If that’s not impressive enough, he can also perfectly imitate the sound of a camera, chainsaw and car alarm.
79. Some shopping centres and restaurants play classical music in their car park to deter teenagers from loitering at night.
80. Despite sharing the same verbal language, Australian, British and American sign languageare all completely different languages.
81. In 1979, debris from NASA’s space station ‘Skylab’ crashed in Esperance, WA. The town then fined NASA $400 for littering.
82. There have been no deaths in Australia from a spider bite since 1979.
83. There currently a chlamydia outbreak among koala species, which has led to a 15% drop in koala populations.
84. In NSW, there is a coal fire beneath the ground which has been burning for 5,500 years.
85. An Australian election TV debate was rescheduled so it didn’t conflict with the finale of reality cooking show Masterchef.
86. Chinese explorers travelled to Australia long before Europeans arrived. As early as the 1400s, sailors and fisherman came to Australia for sea-cucumbers and to trade with Indigenous peoples.
87. The first European to visit Australia was Dutch explorer Willem Janszoon, in 1606. More Dutch explorers visited the country over the next hundred years, plotting maps and naming it ‘New Holland’.
88. Captain James Cook first landed on Australia’s east coast in 1770. In 1788, the British returned with eleven ships to establish a penal colony. Within days of The First Fleet’s arrival and the raising of the British flag, two French ships arrived, just too late to claim Australia for France.

austrShamelessly stolen from Facebook… but I’m not going to link where from, because most of the stuff they post is xenophobic crap.

A Reminder of Why Australia Was Great.

An Impassioned Story on Facebook by Nhuy Lam*

Screen Shot 2014-05-14 at 9.48.30 pm“I never really use Facebook to make long, heartfelt posts because I try not to bother people. I will this time, though, so here goes nothing. I’m sorry if thereare typos and I’m sorry if I offend anyone… it’s like.. super late right now as I’m typing this.

After the release about the budget, I’m really freaking out about the state of the country. LOL. Isn’t everyone?

My parents and I are refugees. When I was a child, they told me that Australia is a wonderful country. It’s a country where the government is kind and will look after its people; that’s why it’s called the lucky country. My parents got divorced, something very normal in this day and age. Being a child at the time, it was a big thing for me, because suddenly dad was no longer there and my mum was in a deep depression. We were surviving on her disability pension. Hmm… There were days where I my little brother and I would go hungry. Those were bad times, but the school came to the rescue and were wonderful enough to provide us with food (funding for that got cut in my senior year, I think.)

There was another time, when I was younger… in year 7, I guess. So, 11-12 or so? My little brother got very sick and we had to walk to the doctor’s. I clutched my mother’s green health care card in my hand like a lifeline because that flimsy plastic card was what allowed my little brother to see a doctor without the money we didn’t have. I remember I scrounged up 10 dollars that day so I could buy him cough medicine and have a bit left over for cough drops. I wonder what will happen to people in my shoes now that you need to pay money to see a doctor. Seven dollars means a lot to a family in need.

At 16, I applied for Youth Allowance and got it! I was over the moon! I could buy groceries! I could help my mother pay for bills and going hungry would be a distant memory. If I was very, very lucky then I would have enough money left over to spoil my little brother.

I cried in my senior year. I was worried I couldn’t go to university because I couldn’t afford the books. It was like a weight was lifted off my chest when I was told about HECS, about the extra bonus that would be used to pay for books. I couldn’t wait to go to university, to grow up and pay taxes (yes, yes… taxes) just so I could return the money to the country that has held my hand for so long. A country that protected me and allowed me the privilege of an education. I wanted to grow up and pay taxes so the money could be used to help other people in my shoes.

My friends from overseas tell me about how bad their country is, how heartless, and I would think to myself, “Australia isn’t perfect. But at least it cares for the people. That’s what matters.”

WELL. That went out the flippin’ window.

Australia’s coat of arms is a kangaroo and an emu. I thought this is because they are the two animals that are unable to take steps backwards. It was meant to show that Australia is a progressive country, and that it will always continue to move forward.

Tony Abbott has ruined that. He’s ruined so many core aspects of being human, he can’t even be considered Australian. I refuse to consider him as such because no human being would destroy the lives of so many in the name of a surplus to fight against a crisis that isn’t even real.

For as long as I can remember, I was proud of my country. I had faith in my country. I’ve lost that now and I blame him, I really do. It might be unreasonable of me to blame a single person or their political party, but… at night I worry about not being able to find a job straight after uni, of six months in limbo and having no money while I look for a job. I’m not a religious person, but I’m definitely praying to someone or anyone to put a stop to this.

Guys, it’s not Facebook Likes that the government hears. That button does nothing but make people feel as if they’re doing something. It’s action, standing up and protecting your rights that gets you heard. It’s screaming (peacefully) at the top of your lungs that this isn’t right that gets you heard.

I know I’m not alone in this. I’m one Australian of millions who will be affected by the cuts and changes proposed for the 2014 Budget, whose lives were made better by a government that helped provide for our education, that took care of us when we were ill and had nowhere else to turn to. They gave us a brighter future when all else seemed bleak, and now we don’t have even that.

If you feel the same way – share your stories too, speak up. So we can reach out to others like us, to move others to action, to make a difference.

So let’s do it. Let’s get heard.”

*For some reason, Facebook wouldn’t let me share this status, but I really wanted to keep it to remind myself of the ideology Australia is founded on and the precepts we hold dear, and the government that has currently decided that these things, and these people, no longer matter.