Eye Vee Eff – (The “Eff” stands for ‘Fuckin’ expensive)

Was clambouring around in my closets this afternoon getting ready for the electrician dude to come install a new sensor to the security system in the morning and found a small box shoved in the top of my wardrobe that’s been sitting there for oh… about four years now? 

It was half full with the little plastic twisty top bit that comes on a Crinone Progesterone Gel package (which for those of you who are fortunate enough to have no fucking idea what that is – it’s a progesterone supplement that they give you during the luteal hormone support phase of an IVF cycle). 

I’m not sure what compelled me to keep throwing the little twist off bit into a box the whole time I was using them – but I have vague recollections of thinking I’d make some sort of artwork out of them or something… dunno.  Who knows what goes through your head when your hormonal and psychotic.  Anyway I thought I’d count them and see how many were in there…. and the answer was (drum roll please) and thanks to the Small Child for counting them….

251 progesterone pessaries!
Ah ha ha!
said the Count.

So what?  Well yes I guess it doesn’t signify anything until I mention that they cost (at the time) $12 each and were taken one a day for 10 days after an embryo transfer.   Exactly $12.85 in fact (I just looked it up) which means that we spent how much on ultimately useless progesterone pessaries??

$3,225.35.
Now that just pisses me off…
 

Hellish IVF History

20/01/00 Missed abortion
04/02/00 TSI 2 eggs (-)ve
18/04/00 IUI 3 eggs (-)ve
09/05/00 IUI 3 eggs (-)ve
16/05/00 IUI 5 eggs (-)ve
04/06/00 IUI 4 eggs (-)ve
13/07/00 Laparoscopy
21/08/00 TVEPU 15 eggs collected (14 fertilized)
23/08/00 Embryo Transfer 2 embryos (-)ve
08/09/00 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
01/11/00 FET 2 embryos (+)ve
25/06/01 LSCD – Live birth – Male 36.5 wks
04/10/02 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
04/11/02 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
09/12/02 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
13/01/03 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
06/03/03 TVEPU 14 eggs collected (14 fertilized)
10/03/03 Embryo Transfer 1 embryo to blastocyst (-)ve
02/05/03 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
04/07/03 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
10/09/03 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
14/10/03 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
12/12/03 Laparoscopy
20/12/03 Post-operative abdominal golden staph infection
12/01/04 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
03/03/04 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
28/01/05 TVEPU 17 eggs collected (8 fertilized)
31/01/05 Embryo Transfer 2 embryos (-)ve
02/03/05 FET 2 embryos (-)ve
11/04/05 TVEPU 20 (9 fertilized – ICSI)
16/04/05 Embryo Transfer 3 blastocysts (+)ve
31/05/05 D&C for Missed abortion
01/07/05 FET 3 embryos to blastocyst (-)ve
02/08/05 FET 2 embryos to blastocyct, and 3 TUI eggs (-)ve
07/09/05 TVEPU 15 eggs (15 fertilized)
09/09/05 Embryo Transfer 3 blastocysts (-)ve
02/11/05 FET 2 embroys to blastocycst (-)ve
01/01/06 Decision to stop IVF until Dad passes away
2009 – 10 embryos remain in storage

Total of 23 unsuccessful assisted reproduction cycles with a total of 61 implanted embryos that failed to develop into viable pregnancies.


Acronyms explained:
TSI – Timed Sexual Intercourse cycle – 10 days of Clomid to get eggs up, Injection of Profasi to cause ovulation

IUI – Intra-Uterine Insemination cycle – 10 days of Clomid to get eggs up, Injection of Profasi to cause ovulation, sperm collected, cleaned up and replaced in top of uterus

Laparoscopy – Removal of endometriosis, ovarian drilling to encourage follicular growth, tubal hydration to check for blockages.

TVEPU – TransVaginal Egg Pick Up – 19 days of Puregon self injections, Injection of Profasi, 35.5hrs later, follicles aspirated to collect eggs via vaginal wall, under general anaesthetic

Embryo Transfer – transfer of fresh (unfrozen) embryos to uterus adhered with EmbryoGlu, 19 days luteal phase support by Crinone (progesterone) pessary

LSCD – Lower Section Caesarean Delivery

FET – Frozen Embryo Transfer – Thawed embryos monitored to ensure cellular division, 14 days HRT, embryos transferred to uterus, 19 days luteal phase support as progesterone pessary.

Blastocysts – Embryos that have been developed to a 8-12 cell stage instead of the normal 3-6… usually produces a higher incidence of conception.

D&C – Dilation and curettage to remove non-viable foetal remains and endometrial tissue.

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