Monthly Archives: December 2008
Snog at your own peril.
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The internets is an amazing place. Every day you stumble over something new. Interesting things, alarming things and of course the just plain weird things.
Things I learned today… December 10th 2008 –
the Governor of Illinois is corrupt (corrupt politican … quelle surprise)
Rio Tinto is sacking 14000 people
intelligent men produce better quality sperm
Zimbabwee is getting more pooched by the minute
and umpteen other bits and bobs…
But here’s one you don’t see every day…
Chinese girl gets ‘kiss of deaf’
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A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.
The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.The incident prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing.
"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily. The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.
"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear." The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: "A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum."
The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.
Other People’s Kids.
I’ve been looking after a friends two boys for the last couple of days seeing that it’s school holidays and all and their Mum has a couple more weeks of work. For the most part… the Small Child, Ring-in #1 and Ring-in #2 get along okay and I’m reluctant to get involved in petty childish squabbles as I believe they need to learn to work out things for themselves – it’s all part of learning about conflict resolution which is a vital commincation skill. But oh dear God…. other people’s children… where to start?
We’ve had drama over sharing the Game Cube – Ring-in # 1 doesn’t want to take turns and hogs the controller. Strangely I always expected this sort of behaviour would be the evident in the Small Child being an only child and all… but no he shares well with the other kids. We’ve had problems at snack time – Ring-in #2 doesn’t eat fruit and insists on cookies and chips which their mother knowingly provided :|. We’ve had problems riding bikes out in the yard – Ring-in #1 jumped out in front of the Small Child as he was careering down the driveway causing him to swerve and crash straight into a brick wall. We had an incident with the poor Caesar (our 11yr old Australian Terrier) when Ring-in #1 decided it would be fun to man handle the poor dog onto the top bunk in the Small Child’s room from which he subsequently fell. There have been numerous admonishments regarding treatment of the poor aged dog which have been administered with alarming regularity but seem to merely run like water off a ducks back.
But the best fun was to be had over lunch today…
Mom: I’m making ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch boys.
Would you like them toasted or untoasted?
Ring-in #1: I don’t eat ham and cheese sandwiches.
Mom: Oh… what do you eat on your sandwiches?
Ring-in #1: Ummm. Ham. Vegemite. Cheese. Stuff like that.
Mom: Right. So ham and cheese it is.
Ring-in #1: No not together. I’ll have just Vegemite.
Ring-in #2: Can I have just cheese?
Small Child: I want Vegemite too please Mum.
Mom: Okay. So that’s three ham and cheese sandwiches.
Ring-in #1: Ok but I won’t eat it. (No shit he said that)
Ring-in #2: Also, I don’t eat crusts.
Let’s see… I had hardly any sleep last night as I woke up in lots of pain and feeling totally drug fucked around 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep for hours. My new drugs are upsetting my stomach somewhat. My patience for this rubbish is thin at the best of times and today is damn near non-existent. Why is this so bloody difficult?!?! They’re just fucking sandwiches.
Mom: Sigh… Fine one plain Vegemite, one plain cheese and one ham and cheese.
Small Child: I want vegemite too.
Mom: That would be ham and cheese… Yes?
Small Child: Okay Mum.
Three sandwiches laid out with milk and one water later…
Ring-in #2: Mine has crusts on it.
Mom: Crusts are fine just try them (Read: Suck it up princess).
Ring-in #1: How come I’ve got water.
Mom: Because you said you don’t drink milk.
Ring-in #1: But I like chocolate milk.
Mom: Sorry we’re all out of chocolate.
And this BS went on for most of the two days in varying degrees over a diverse range of issues.
I guess my point is this – If you’ve ever watched my Small Child for me…. if he’s ever fussed over his food, or refused to play well with others or caused injury, either physical or emotional, to you or any of your kith or kin… then please accept my heart felt apology. I totally understand that to you he’s an ‘Other People’s Kid’.
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The schizophrenic decorator
I was cleaning the Small Child’s room tonight and came across (as you do) a little cardboard box full of his ‘treasures’. It contained some mismatched bits of broken toys, some leads for a Pacer style pencil and a few coins and a strange die. I opened it and asked the Small Child if it was rubbish and should we throw it out?
The look on his face was hard to describe… it wasn’t consternation or distress… it was more… incredulity really. He was looking at me as though he couldn’t believe that I couldn’t tell that these were his special things. He had something to say about each item in his little stash and it was quite obvious that these things were in there for their sentimental value. One item I had given him when I came home from a trip, another was part of something he made with his teacher, the die came from one of his father’s games etc.
No doubt he gets this from his mother. Because while I abhor clutter in my house I tend to sentimentalize certain knick-knacks and make souvenirs out of strange things that remind me of people, places or events, and these things could never be thrown away.
Finding the delicate balance between clutter and order is a particular Borys’ weirdness. I often walk into my home and look around feeling slightly claustrophobic and twitchy that there’s too much stuff in the house and not enough clean empty surfaces. Yet I’m the one who has decorated the place to have an ‘old English study’ kinda feel… dark burgundy carpets, leather wingback chair, lots of warm timber furniture, plenty of (very organized) bookcases, stained glass lightshades, prints and mirrors in heavy gilt frames. So I’ve not exactly gone for a modern minimalist feel that is more conducive to producing clear surfaces.
I have many things in my house which have many special meanings or associations. Just take my desk for example… there’s a cup from the DMZ in North Korea that I keep pens and pencils in. There’s a Marinoni pewter hourglass (a more useless item you’d be hard pressed to find) that I bought for myself on a ‘cheer-me-up-IVF-sucks’ shopping trip in 2004. Some shells from Vanuatu. A fifty rupee note from Pakistan. A Tudor Rose paperweight from Hampton Court Palace in 1997. Some little glass mushrooms from an artist at the Salamanca Markets in 1994, a heavy glass globe I bought in Prague and then lugged around for the next six months, a rock I pciked up off the ground at Gallipoli and several other bits and bobs that have been collected throughout my travels.
But the most sentimental item on my desk is a pair of tiny Swarovski crystal mushrooms, one of which is broken, that was a gift from my first boyfriend back in 1988…. so I can see where the Small Child gets his habit of making treasures from little broken bits of toys. And while I often pine for clean and clear surfaces the urge to discard and cull is always overcome by the need to keep my precious broken memories intact.
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Sara Lee Meme… layer upon layer upon layer
9 Layers A meme to peel away the layers of you… swiped from Avitable
Layer One:
Name: borysSNORC ™
Birth date: January 11
Birthplace: Toowoomba, Qld Australia
Current Location: Brisneyland, Qld Australia
Eye color: Grey sometimes blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Height: 5′ and 0.5″… that 0.5″ is very important
Righty or Lefty: Right-handed.
Zodiac sign: Capricorn
Layer Two:
Your Heritage: Mongrel bred. Mum’s side – 100% German. Dad’s side – Convict scum of English/Irish descent arrived in Australia on the First Fleet.
The shoes you wore today: Barefoot most of the day.
Your weakness: Hypercritical
Your fears: Being in pain forever.
Your perfect pizza: Pizzaland Super Seafood w~ extra anchovies
Goal you’d like to achieve: One measely day without pain.
Layer Three:
Your most overused phrase on AIM: Ptbtbtbtbtbtb!
Your first waking thoughts: Ow, Ow, Ow! Fuckity Ow!
Your best physical feature: Dunno… little feet?
Your most missed memory: Sleeping like a baby and waking up refreshed.
Layer Four:
Pepsi or Coke: Neither. Both will kill you.
McDonalds or Burger King: McChucks
Single or group dates: Yes please.
Adidas or Nike: Who the fuck cares?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Lemon Ice Tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: Gourmet Vanilla Bean flavour thanks
Cappuccino or coffee: Vodka
Layer Five:
Smoke: Smoked from 15-26 and just decided not to buy any more.
Cuss: Like a truckie.
Sing: I could… but be warned… it wouldn’t be pretty
Take a shower everyday: Can’t sleep unless I’ve just had a shower
Do you think you’ve been in love: Hells yes… many times.
Want to go to college: Been there, wouldn’t mind studying again.
Liked high school: High school was okay, neither fabulous nor traumatic
Want to get married: Is that a proposal? If so… does it come with diamonds?
Believe in yourself: Yes.
Get motion sickness: Nope.
Think you’re attractive: Dunno… comme si, comme ça
Think you’re a health freak: Sorry I am not familiar with this term…
Get along with your parents: Yes
Like thunderstorms: I love running around in storms getting drenched.
Play an instrument: No. Wish I had learned piano but probably wouldn’t be very good – I have tiny hands
Layer Six: In the past month….
Drank alcohol: Yes mostly wine
Smoked: Not tobacco
Done drugs: More than I can list.
Made out: Bunches
Gone on a date: Yes. Dates are fun
Gone to the mall: Unfortunately yes and too often for my liking.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No and ‘No’ to Oz equivalent – Tim Tams
Eaten sushi: Yes probably every other week
Been on stage: Not since high school.
Been dumped: Not since high school.
Gone skating: Not since high school.
Made homemade cookies: No. Can’t be fucked.
Gone skinny dipping: Not in the last six months. Good idea though.
Dyed your hair: Yesterday
Stolen anything: Unless Mr K’s change that he leaves in little piles around the house counts – then probably ‘no’.
Layer Seven: Have you ever….
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Of course.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Of course.
Been caught “doing something”: Of course.
Been called a tease: Probably… but I think in jest….
Gotten beat up: No.
Shoplifted: Makeup when I was in high school.
Changed who you were to fit in: No. Can’t be fucked.
Layer Eight:
Age you hope to be married: Will probably remarry at 59-60 when Mr K carks it.
Names of children: Small Child
Describe your dream wedding: Fuck the wedding. Elope. Hindsight’s 20/20
How do you want to die: Bad question for someone as medicated as I am.
Where do you want to go to college: Maybe Monash Psych Distance Ed.
What do you want to be when you grow up: Pain free
What country would you most like to visit: Morocco, Alaska, China…
Layer Nine:
Number of drugs taken illegally: More than one and less than some..
Number of people I could trust with my life: Quite a few people actually. I wonder if this is because I really trust them or currently feel that my life isn’t worth shit.
Number of CDs that I own: 300-400
Number of piercings: Three
Number of tattoos: Three again
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Three-ish.
Number of scars on my body: Dunno… at least 12
Number of things in my past I regret: None. Regret is a total waste of energy