Some women I know seemed to hit 30 and decide that they’re getting old and start being evasive about their age and mourning their every birthday as though someone had run over their cat or eaten their last chocolate or something. But I never really had a problem with the whole getting older thing…. until last year for some reason. I think it’s because last year, I started to to recognize that my fertility (which has been the bane of my adult existence) was now well and truly on it’s way out. Ten little embryos in the freezer and well honestly, not a hope in hell that I’ll be able to use them or even if I did that any of then would take. Ho-hum, woe is me. 😐
So this year, while I’m determined to try and occupy myself with cheerier thoughts leading up to my birthday, certain aspects of my current situation – like hideous back pain – keep getting in the way. But one must ever live in hope, yes? And as such I can always fantasize that God (if indeed he/she/it really does exist) will take pity on my pitiable infertile and pain wracked state and oh, I don’t know… maybe knock off some unknown distant relative who, in their benevolence, will leave me a fortune so that I may spend my days indulging in frivolous festivities, feasts of fine food, filanthropy ;), Fruit Tingles, fabulous furniture, fancy fittings and fripperies of one type or another. Or perhaps I’ll win lotto – something the chance of which would no doubt be considerably increased if I should deign to start purchasing tickets. 🙂
But in the absence of a kindly dead rellie, or a freak lotto win by a non-entrant… I shall just have to hope for some cool loot for my birthday. In order to assist potential purveyors of presents, I have compiled a list of things that make me go hmmmm. And it starts off with something like this – ‘Yeeeessss… that’s right Ian!!!! A Nooo Carrrrr!!!’ Cos Lord knows I need one after my old one got smooshed 🙁
Failing that, the gregariously generous gift giver this year might want to consider something smaller and perhaps less showy, so how about some fancy pink diamonds (prefer cushion cut approx, 2ct would be nice), or a lovely Tag Heuer watch???? 🙂 Ooooh how excitement … fingers crossed!
Okay, okay…. sigh … I understand. I should probably dial it down a bit to something a bit more… realistic…. So here’s ’tis 🙂
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*Okay, I don’t really want a Baby Jesus Buttplug for my birthday, but he was pink and kinda rounded out the list 😛
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