Suck my wand! Suck my wand! It’s Magic!

I saw Magicians last night… it was hilarious. I’m always a bit wary of English comedies, sometimes they look like everything is going to be okay but then if you’ve ever seen the world’s most banal and disgusting waste of air time that has the gall to pose as entertainment, also known as Little Britain, then you know why I think English comedy can be a bit hit and miss.

Magicians was just my type of comedy, absurd situations, slightly off kilter humour and bizarre characters with dry and sometimes dark dialogue. I enjoyed the gay bar dance bit so much I nearly peed myself laughing.

Another day, another job, but always poo.

I was hired as an Account Manager… and I’m beginning to think that is how they conned me into taking this job.   Innocuous title…. hiding a monumentally chaotic position description.  My role seems to centre around waiting to see who’s cocked up next and seeing how can I bandaid it IMMEDIATELY.

There’s this constant reacting to problems all day long… most of which are caused by factors totally outside my sphere of control….

the IT guys have delayed the proofs going to production….
the client sends you stock folded to A4 when it was supposed to be DL…
someone is away and you end up managing a job you know nothing about….
the mailing machines are down and your mailout doesn’t get completed….
the printed base stock  doesn’t come in on time…

a veritable plethora of stupid little things occupy in my day – none of which, am I able to directly control to avert these incidents occuring.  It reminds me of that old saying ‘ if you want something done properly – do it yourself’…. only in this case I am unable to do so, and find myself having to rely on any number of other, frequently ambivalent, people to do their bit, to enable me to get the jobs completed.

Crisis management… that is what it feels like I do there.  Going from one chaotic cock up to the next and scarcely drawing breath in between.  I’d like to say  ‘Ahem.. how exactly does your ineptitude become my emergency?’  but unfortunately I don’t think it would go down too well   🙁
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And it’s not even Wednesday!!!

OMG!
 
My afternoon spriralled down the gurgler about an hour ago… and it’s not even Wednesday!
My friendly neighbourhood Team Leader called in sick today.  and in her absence I got stuck looking after one of her jobs.. .which went horribly wrong about an hour ago.
 
It started out as an innocuous little enquiry from the client, who was calling to confirm if the data file he can DL from our website was correct?  Because all the dates didnt matcht the proofs he had signed off on.
 
Turns out that one of the IT guys processed out the wrong data file to the laser department and I had to halt production part way through a run ….
35000 rates notices incorrectly printed and now destined for the recycling bin.  What a waste.  So the ineptitude of the dopey IT guy then becomes my emergency… racing around Laser… jumping up and down on the IT guys… raising customer complaint action reports… co-ordinating quotes to replace the wasted stock… and (the worst bit) trying to placate the client when his job has been pooched severley.
 
And it’s not even Wednesday!!!  
😐

Update:

I totally thought this guy would end up getting PIPped or something – but nothing. 

IT Guy:  ‘Whoops!  Sorry about that…’
IT Guy’s Boss:  ‘No worries mate, we’re only human”

I mean WTF??? Where are the consequences for lacking attention to detail in your work here?

None! Nada! Zip!  Nil!  Nothing…. something wrong with this picture.
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No surprises here…

You scored as Dominant
Sex is about power and you like to be powerful. It’s nice to be in charge and get what you want. And being in a position where people will do what you say is exciting.

Dominate 93%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur 86%
Experimental 79%
Switch 75%
Bondage 54%
Sadist 54%
Masochist 29%
Submissive 14%
Vanilla 14%
Degradation Lover 11%