Goliath

I’ve been so busy the last few weeks, and stressed out the wa-hoo (though I’m not entirely sure what/where a wa-hoo is ?!?!)  I started a new job the day after my Dad passed away, and it’s the first full time job I’ve had since 1994.  My first day was a nightmare, I woke up and procrastinated about whether or not I should even turn up.  I didn’t want to go because I felt  like an emotional train wreck, and I wanted to be around in case Mum wanted us, but then I wanted to go because I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity.  In addition to this I was concerned that everyone would think I was a heartless baggage for going to work the day after my father passes away!  I felt absolutely drained and my decision making abilities were shot to sh!t.   Definitely not your typical Monday morning.  In the end I did go to work, partly cos of Dad.  He was always the pragmatic one, and I could almost hear him, saying ‘get over it and get on with it’.  Though he would have definitely worded it in a kindlier fashion.

We’ve been in training for the last few weeks, and the poor trainers have been trying to smash a veritable encyclopedia of telecommunications information into our unwilling heads over the duration.  I’ve been struggling a bit, most of the group (30 of us – I’m the only girlie) have fairly significant IT backgrounds, and have a much better grasp of the material than I do.  The job itself is going to be something that I will be quite good at once I get a grip on the resources I think.  I am sure it will all come together over the next few weeks, but it’s been a very steep learning curve for me.  The wireless broadband stuff is giving the long term staff there headaches, so no wonder I’m not feeling confident.  😐

So between dealing (or not) with my polarized feelings about Dad passing away, worrying about Mum, maintaining the rage over BigSal’s behaviour and coming to grips with grasping the requirements of my new job….. I’ve been feeling a little bit on the stressed side.  Not sleeping great, tension headaches, problems with my hearing and of course, the obligatory cracked tooth.  Whenever I am under ridiculous amounts of stress, it manifests itself in a tendency to clench my jaw while I sleep.  I don’t grind my teeth exactly, just clench them and this causes problems for one of my front bottom teeth – which tends to quite literally crack under pressure.  A little chip cracks off and then it’s off to the dentist to have him fix it….. again!