Edouardo

I ran into Edouardo today at Carindale.  Mr K saw Mess first and asked me if it was her.  I wasn’t sure, but took a better look, and sure as eggs, it was her.  I thought for a second that she had seen us and deliberately turned away to try and avoid us.  Immediately I started looking around for Edouardo, I knew he’d be there somewhere.  Mr K saw him standing at the counter at Myer paying for something, and he encouraged me to go up and talk to him.  But I couldn’t.  I stood rooted to the spot.  I felt like I had been physically kicked in the guts and I was desperately trying not to start crying.  There are so many things I want to say to him, but I felt like I couldn’t say a single word!

Mr K went up to him, confident, friendly and shook his hand, hugged Mess and made out like nothing was wrong, and was happy to see them.  I just felt shell shocked.  I didn’t want to meet her eyes, I didn’t want her to see how emotionally upset I was.  Mr K took the bull by the horns, and asked pointedly to Mess, if they were busy.  She answered not really, and Mr K took the opportunity to muscle them into having coffee with us.  I could see Edouardo was in a difficult spot, no doubt he was going to pay for this later, and she was not happy about having a drink with us.

We went to a coffee shop directly outside Myer, and Edouardo and Mr K went up to order drinks. WHICH LEFT ME ALONE WITH MESS MAKING SMALL TALK!!!  Oh my God, I felt mortified.  Stuck there for a few minutes that felt like hours, trying to make small talk with a women who HATES me!  So I mindlessly asked her how her work was going – like I give a shit!  Meanwhile, Edouardo is up at the counter thanking Mr K for forcing the coffee date!  They couldn’t have come back soon enough for my liking.  I am glad he managed to tell Mr K that he was happy to see us, because he sure couldn’t say that to me while Mess was sitting there glaring at him.

We sat there for about half an hour – just having really polite chat about Edouardo’s appointment in the fire brigade, and her work as a nurse, and a bit about my Dad and how he is faring.  I really wanted to tell him how much I have missed him, and ask him how could he let her do this to us?  It was really painful to sit there and try and pretend everything was okay.  We exchanged numbers, which was pointless, as Edouardo and I knew both well that we each had the other’s current phone numbers.  And we extended an invitation for them to come and visit us on Boxing Day night – which I doubt they will take us up on.  As we left, I gave him a quick hug, and then turned and walked away quickly, as I could feel the tears welling up really quickly and I didn’t want her to see me upset.  By the time we got the the carpark, I was crying and felt really off kilter.

Big Sal says it must be Mess’ bad karma.  They come to BrisVegas, and she obviously makes it so difficult it’s not worthwhile for Edouardo to contact us and let us know theyr’e in town (from Atherton mind you).  So it bites her in the arse by them running into us by accident .  Part of me wishes I had just tried to have it out with her right there in the middle of the shopping centre and demand to know what her problem is, and ask here where she gets off forcing her husband to choose between her and his friends from his bloody childhood.  I could never force my opinions on my partner like that. NEVER.

The whole encounter has thrown me more than it should.  I love Edouardo, have for years, and it hurts, really hurts that things outside my control can affect my interactions with him.  I have been obsessing over it all day.  And I am worried that one day, I am going to lose MD in a similar way to some other terribly insecure woman.  😐

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