If only it were raining men instead of morons.

BrisVegas had a HUGE storm last night.  I know this to be true.  Because I read it on the BBC News.  Interesting that we had a ‘cyclone style storm’… here in the subtropics we just call them cyclones yeah?  It was a pretty big storm that moved over the north west of Brisbane and it seems The Gap, Morayfield and areas in between were worst hit.  (Pictures here – some of them are quite good photographically speaking)

Reports of green skies meant heaps of hail, strong winds knocking down 10m tall trees and 100,000 homes left without power.  Ours wasn’t one of them for a change… the improvements to the power grid in our area must have spared us that.  Rainwise here in the south-east we didn’t get any more of a dousing than we’d normally expect from a summer thunderstorm and while windy it was hardly cyclonic … but maybe that’s because of our newly installed 5m windbreaker out back.  You know.. the one they optimistically call a noise barrier.  It don’t stop jack shit in the noise department but seems to do a fair job at deflecting and redirecting wind.

So yeah… an extremely bad store… one person drowned taking photos down a storm drain (very ill advised behaviour in my book)… not sure how many injured… power cut off to thousands… trees uprooted… cars smashed…. localized flooding… rooftops blown away… hail damage to cars and buildings…. Bunnings and other hardware stores cashing in on generator and emergency lighting sales… other services disrupted including phone, internet, transport… emergency services overloaded… natural disaster zone declared by the Premier. 

But even with all this… we live in a first world country and while it may take several weeks or months to clean up and sort out insurance claims and repairs etc no one here will have to worry about whether or not they can feed or shelter their family tomorrow as funds and resources have already been allocated to assist affected families, volunteers, SES workers and military resources are already on site and apparently working round the clock.  We do live in the lucky country there’s no doubt about it.

Today it continued to rain all day long… just solid rain all day.  Which means a couple of things – people seem more hurried to get on with things and get out of the rain… and this seems to make for more discourteous and ill tempered drivers than normal.  Also more people decide to drive to work because they don’t want to walk to their buses/trains in the rain.  Why do we give a shit about this?  Well there’s quite twice as many cars on the road when we have wet weather AND NOT ONE IN TEN OF THEM HAVE THEIR HEADLIGHTS ON!!! 

As someone who has a Rating One for life on their car insurance but has been involved in four serious motor vehicle accidents this is something I percieve as gross negligence and it pisses me off no end.  I’m driving to collect the Small Child from school in the Pizza Caper car (because my car is in the shop to have the dent repaired) and it’s a black Suzuki Swift covered in bright orange sign writing.  Now I’d do this in my bright red car anyway but especially because today I was in a predominantly black car and the roads are grey, the skies are grey and visibilty is impaired in the rain so I have the head lights on from the minute I turn on the ignition until I reach my destination.  But do you think anyone else is trying to improve their visibilty on the road?  Noooo.  Why would they do a sensible thing like that? 

Especially up near the school.  There’s kids darting everywhere to get to their cars or bolt home and stay as dry as possible and the usual line up of flashy luxury 4WDs is even pushier than normal because everyone wants to get home… and NONE of them have their headlights on.  Jesus people, these are our kids running about… surely you want them to see you coming.  I don’t get it.  Everyone is supposed to put their headlights on in the rain… and you’d think people who have silver, black or gunmetal grey cars would be particularly diligent knowing how easily they camouflage into the landscape under rainy conditions but no one seems to give a shit. 
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Oh mwy Gawd

Yes I really do sound like that at the moment… ahem-hem!

Bring out your dead!
<clonk>
Bring out your dead!
<clonk>

Dontcha just love onoamatopoetic words?
No?  Oh. Perhaps that’s just me…

I am not actually dead but I am soooo sick of being sick.  I don’t know if it’s the copious amounts of drugs I’m on or if it’s because I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in about 12 months… but I feel like I’ve had one illness after another.  Since we got back from Canberra-Babylon in August I’ve had three.. count ’em… three… separate run ins with various flu type things.

Lately I’ve been doing a rather impressive redition of "The Hideous Barking Snot Monster from Belmont"…  arguably one of my best attempts in recent memoryt.  It’s an aurally and visually stimulating living art installation piece that I’ve been working on for the last three days or so that explores the fragile state that is the necessity to breathe in order to avoid possible mortality .  Translation for those who don’t speak Art Wanker – I’ve installed myself in the living room, am frequenly emitting simply horrid harking cough sounds, have pockets full of used tissues and am working on the whole… not dying thing. 

Oh I know it’s just a headcold and one just has to ride these things out… but the worst bit is what all the coughing does to my back.  Farkinell it stirs it up!  So I’m trying not to do anything that brings on another of those horrible coughing fits.  You know stupid things.  Like having the audacity to laugh at something.  It starts off as a bit of a giggle and before you know you’re coughing with a death rattle that would make a 40-a-day smoker proud and (in my case) ends up with massive pains shooting through my upper body. 

Not my idea of fun people.
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Constant vigilance people!

I am tired.  Sick and fucking tired of the sheer volume of chicken fucking morons that I am expected to share the road with.

It seems to me that I can not go anywhere no matter how short the drive is where I don’t see some idiot running a red light.  It particularly bothers me when I feel I’ve just sneaked through on an amber only to check my rear vision mirror to watch TWO judgement impaired individuals follow me through.  What if I had decided to stop?  Would they still be hard on the gas trying to make it through? 

More and more frequently I’m sitting at a light waiting for it to go green and green it eventually goes yet there’ll be vehicles still traversing the interesection blatantly running the red lights.  Don’t they give a shit?  Do they want to get turned into a bloody smudge on the bitchumen?    I used to be quick on the pedal when the lights turned green… but nowadays I feel like I have to wait a moment or two to allow for the dickhead factor.  It might be just my imagination but there seems to be more and more of them than ever before.

I’ve had more than my share of car accidents and it’s freaking me out every time I see these dickwads running the red lights. SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID.  I can’t get my head around the rationale that leads them to try and save those two or three minutes at the risk of their own lives and those of other motorists.

I’m over it.  It’s getting so i don’t want to drive…. ever.  I am convinced theyr’e trying to kill me.

What yobbo advertising executive is responsible for this shit?

I went to the cinema today with BigSal to see “Married Life” which as a side note was pretty good and not quite as dark as I was expecting.  During the commercials that preceded the film BigSal leaned over to me and said “Grrr.. I hate this commercial!” to which I replied “I haven’t seen it – I don’t watch TV”


So we watch the advertisement and I find that I am absolutely appalled with this commercial.  Who are they trying to flog their tampons to?  Certinaly not me or any of my peers.  It’s not that I find it morally offensive.  I don’t –  I’m not what you’d call a prude and come to think of it  I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being prudish my entire life.  But I do find it intellectually offensive.  What sort of chicken fucking moron thought that an advert like this would be appealing to today’s consumer conscious woman?  I have NEVER met a women who called her vagina, ‘her Beaver’.  NEVER.  It’s so typically a term that resides in the domain of purile prepubescents or perhaps just  mysogynistic and immature adult males.  I don’t know.  But it’s certainly not a word that comes out with any regularity in my circle of acquaintance.

After seeing this ad I have decided to that I NEVER  want to purchase another Kotex product ever again.  If advertising companies want to hawk their products at me then they need to work harder.  Bring on the witty, clever or sophisticated concepts… not fucking mindless, asinine and downright moronic bullshit like this that seems predominatly aimed at pulling cheap laughs.

It is bad enough that women HAVE to spend money of these sorts of necessary products? (Money that I’m sure most of us would rather spend on nail polish, Magic 8 balls or Fruit Tingles!!!).   Do we really have to put up with this sort of ridiculous insult to our intelligence while we do?

I never thought I’d say this – but bring back the good old days of  the ‘watch how this blue liquid soaks into the sphagnum layer’.  😐
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Tragedy of Elizabethan* proportions!

What a calamity!  How can we carry on….  It was so quick, so easy, so yummy… so no wonder THEY (it’s always THEM) went and fucked with it.

Grrrr… <insert pouty childish tantrum here>
             ….  I have not been able to find any Old El Paso Guacamole Mix!!!! 

I love my guac and making it from scratch is all fabulous and all, but when you’re in a hurry or when everyone is drunk and/or stoned at festival at -2 at 2am you just can’t go past the Old El Paso Guacamole Mix for a quick guac fix when you’re on the piss…   Only I haven’t seen it on the shelves at the supermarket for a couple of months now.  I have a horrible sinking feeling that they’ve discontinued it.  How could they!  The bastards.  🙁

*  Mexican tragedy just didn’t sound right….. see???

PS – I hate LiveJournal…. last week it posted one entry twice and now because it’s full of Russian gremlins, it has posted my last four entries as private even though I never selected that.  I suppose I should go make a ‘real’ blog at boryssnorc.com   :S
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