It’s hard to know where to start to describe a movie of this caliber.  Yes… caliber is a good word – because someone should have shot the screen writers, directors and casting agents before this abortion of a comedy had life breathed into it and it was launched on an unsuspecting movie-going public.

OMG.  You will probably see this film described as appalling, shocking, dull, disjointed, clumsy, disgusting, stupid, tasteless and a hundred other derogatory adjectives and yet none of them will fully encapsulate the gross spectacle that you will encounter should you decide to still go see this film once you’ve finished reading this.

So, I can’t describe the plot, the storyline or the narrative of the film – because there isn’t one.  I can’t talk about the protagonists, character development, depth or complexity – because there isn’t any.  We can’t talk about artistic genre vision or intent of the film – because it’s beyond definition.  Hell, we can’t even really talk about the cinematography, costume design or locations and set design – because it’s amateur hour the whole way!  It’s just like a bunch of Saturday Night Live skits hyped up on meth and filth and that certain je ne sais quois that I like to call ‘artistic shock me! shock me! shock me!’, that seemed to have escaped their time slot.  :S

The only thing left to talk about is how the fuck did they manage to get such a sterling ensemble cast of A-list stars to participate in this unadulterated, stinking dog shit of dog shit, of a movie?  Because they’re all in there… Kate Winslet, who I have always so admired,  Hugh Jackman, Dennis Quaid, Richard Gere, Greg Kinnear, Emma Stone, Keiran Culkin, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Kristen Bell, Justin Long, Elizabeth Banks, Johnny Knoxville,Liev Schrieber, Naomi Watts, Jason Pratt, Anna Faris, Kate Bosworth, Sean William Scott, Jason Sudeikis and on and on the list goes.  They have Uma fucking Thurman for Christssake!  Such a huge cast, almost every face instantly recognisable and I bet every single one of them will eventually wish that this scatalogical, puerile and idiotic piece of celluloid is not on their resume.  When in gobsmacked disbelief, I asked ‘How?’…  Mr K said “Two words. ‘Contractual obligation.'”  *shudder*  God I hope he’s right.  It’s hard to imagine these amazingly talented people did this willingly!

Overall, this is just a really boring, badly made bunch of comedy skits mashed together by a flimsy premise and a bunch of disjointed directors, who I assume were sitting around stoned off their gourds when they came up with the idea for it.  In fact, the whole thing feels like a dare run amok… or a game of The Aristocrats that got out of control and, to our everlasting lament, found a fucking budget!  I’m almost convinced they did pitch it to studio executives at gunpoint.

For once, I feel that America’s general propensity for litigation may prove to be in our favour – cos surely someone, anyone, should sue all their arses for wasting our precious time on this earth with this complete and utter drivel!

PS:  Like much truly infantile, putresecent and ill advised so-called comedic crud that makes it onto film… it will give you a few laughs.  Though anyone over the age of 13 with an IQ over 70, will be left wonder why you found any of it amusing!?!?  *shrug*  It’s one of life’s great mysteries…