Dreading September 15th…

I was going to write a little tribute to Tony Abbott.  He’s ever such a good sport providing so many faux pas and such meaty fodder for the social media mill.  He’s given us almost as many episodes of foot in mouth disease as His Royal Highness, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, but in all fairness good ol’ Phil has another 40 years of sound bites on Uncle Tony.

By the looks of it, he’s going to make a fabulous Prime Minister!  He’s against women… homosexuals… immigration… indigenous Australians… climate change (for fucks sake he’s against climate change!)… equality in the workplace…  the disabled…  super for low income earners…  sigh.

This is Australia in the 21st Century, we don’t need none of that equality shit here.  In fact, it’s getting kinda hard to see through all the things he opposes to see what he actually stands for.  So far, it looks like he’s all for getting elected and throwing money at people who don’t need it.

abbott runner runs from parliament

But turns out… I don’t have to write a tribute to him.  I was just driving along in my car this morning and heard this song come on directly after the news which was dribbling on about something that Abbott’s response to the budget (oh my god, the Australian economy is so bad, it’s a wonder any of us have survived the GFC) … and well, it’s perfect!  And who would have thought such a befitting tribute, that could have been written directly to Tony Abbot himself, would come from the most unlikely of places – that most erudite of political commenters, Lilly Allen!

“Fuck You (Very Much)”

Look inside

Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we’re so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor
So you say
It’s not okay to be gay
Well I think you’re just evil
You’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate
And it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Do you get
Do you get a little kick out of being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It’s approval you’re after
Well that’s not how you find it

Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful?
Cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
Your losing control of it and it’s really distasteful

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
Fuck you

You say, you think we need to go to war
Well you’re already in one,
Cause its people like you
That need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

Solid work from Ms Allen.  And just to refresh everyone’s memory on just how fabulous Tony Abbott is, and how deserving he is of such a worthy tribute, here are some of HIS greatest hits:

Famous gaffes regarding women:

  • ‘The problem with the Australian practice of abortion is that an objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience.’
  • ‘I think it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas simply because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons’
  • ‘I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman’s right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man’s right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak’
  • ‘What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up, every year…’
  • ‘We do not educate women to a higher degree level to deny them a career, if we want women of calibre to have families, we should give them a fair dinkum chance to do so.’

Thoughts on immigration and indigenous Australians:

  • ‘Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.’ (There he is, leaving his religion at home again).
  • ‘These people aren’t so much seeking asylum, they’re seeking permanent residency. If they were happy with temporary protection visas, then they might be able to argue better that they were asylum seekers’
  • ‘Now, I know that there are some Aboriginal people who aren’t happy with Australia Day. For them it remains Invasion Day. I think a better view is the view of Noel Pearson, who has said that Aboriginal people have much to celebrate in this country’s British Heritage’
  • ‘Western civilisation came to this country in 1788 and I’m proud of that…’
  • ‘There may not be a great job for them but whatever there is, they just have to do it, and if it’s picking up rubbish around the community, it just has to be done’

Ideas about rights at work:

  • ‘Bad bosses, like bad fathers and husbands, should be tolerated because they do more good than harm’

Tell us what you really think about Julia Gillard:

  • ‘Gillard won’t lie down and die’ (we will remember to accord him the same respect should Australia suffer the misfortune to end up with him as PM).

*head desk* TA on climate change:

  • ‘Climate change is absolute crap’
  • ‘If you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax.’

His not religiously motivated thoughts on homosexuality:

  • ‘I’d probably … I feel a bit threatened’
  • ‘If you’d asked me for advice I would have said to have – adopt a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about all of these things…’

And there you have it… I’d like to say a big Lilly Allen style “Fuck you, fuck you very much” to Tony Abbott.  Now if only the MSM were a bit less bought off and the average Australian a bit less apathetic.   🙁

 

 

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