Eyebrow Food

Most people choose food based on what they want to eat, and what they ‘feel’ like eating at the time. Personally, I choose food based on things that I ‘feel’ like eating AND things that will fit into my mouth with some measure of decorum! You see, as it turns out, in addition to having tiny feet, tiny hands and tiny ears… I also have a rather small mouth – enough with the tittering from you lot sitting in the cheap seats – something that my dentist reminds me of every time I front up for a check up and can’t go ‘Aaaah!’ enough for him.

As a result I tend to steer away from really large food… I despise the massive two hander burger, have a love hate relationship with kebabs and burritos, and even choose my sushi judiciously based, not so much on ingredients, but rather what I can eat without invariably dropping half of it down my shirt!  Now apparently, when I do attempt to eat large food, I am reliably informed that my eyebrows shoot up as I attempt to enclose the oversized victual with my small jaw… hence the term: Eyebrow Food.

Well, one such prolific vendor of Eyebrow Food is a chain of burger restaurants called Grill’d. They have a wide and varied menu and for the most part their food is very tasty and appears to be much healthier than your run of the mill burger joint.  Only problem is that their burgers are about three inches high!  And I haven’t got a hope in hell of picking up that thing and fitting it in my gob!  🙁  I have in the past actually been forced to whip out a pocket knife and hack a burger into quarters in order to make them more easily consumed.  Long and the short of it is, I rarely go to Grill’d for that reason and for that reason alone, cos basically the food is quite good.  Yeah, it’s a bit pathetic really.

burger Grill'd burger baa-baa knife too big mouth

Well, I was in there the other day and it seems I might not be alone… they’ve started providing serrated edged steak knives for those of us who can’t wrap their mouths around their ginormous burgers!  So kudos to Grill’d for providing some knives, I won’t be so reluctant to go back more often now, but thank a bunch for sticking the boot in while you’re at it and commenting that the small of mouth ‘can’t handle’ your wares.

Tell me what you think