Have you ever been so far down the rabbit hole you don’t even expect to be happy anymore? Yes, I’m talking about depression. Many of us have been depressed before, many of us are still depressed. Some of us seem to be living with depression for the longest time. We all experience periods of sadness and if depression is situational, then perhaps all you need is some support, some time and maybe some professional assistance.
But, I’ve been in pain so long I can’t remember what it was like to wake up feeling pain free let alone ‘good’ or ‘happy’. I don’t even expect happiness in my life anymore. The depression is so pervasive and so persistent, it is like happiness is something that is for other people now…
There’s a story in my head and I’m not sure where it comes from – knowing me probably a book or an old movie or something but it basically goes like this:
There’s a guy walking down a street and he falls in a hole. The walls of the hole are so steep he can’t get out. A doctor walks past the guy yells out, ‘Hey you. Can you help me get out?’ The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down in the hole and walks on by. Then a priest walks past and the guy in the hole yells out, ‘Father, I’m stuck in this hole, can you help me get out?’ The priest writes down a prayer, throws it down in the hole and then walks on by. Soon, a friend walks by and the guy yells out, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me get out?’ And his friend jumps straight down the hole. The frist guy says, ‘What did you do that for? Now we’re are both stuck down here.’ The friend says t o him, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’
After so many years of waking up and trying to remind myself why I keep going, I really, really need a friend who knows the way out.