We’re putting a room on our house – cos you know… the place is a bit on the small side for the three of us. And besides there’s NO such thing as having too much space and one can ALWAYS use more closets to store ‘stuff’ and of course there’s the truth that is universally accepted that one can NEVER have enough wall space for bookcases.
Problem is the whole thing is making me twitch. I am useless… utterly useless in the ill advised fantastically rewarding field of renovating Owner Builder style… as fucking useless as tits on a bull !!!
or as useless as a one armed juggler
or a screendoor on a submarine
or a one legged man in an ass kicking contest
or a snooze button on a smoke alarm
or an ashtray on a motorbike
or a chocolate teapot
or a men’s room at a Lillith fair
or rubber lips on a woodpecker
or a bucket without a bottom
or a glow in the dark sundial
or a a condom machine in a convent !!!
What’s your problem? 😀
It meets the requirements*
Fekkin’ useless all round really. And I have discovered I am 100% my parent’s daughter and sitting around watching other people work is about as frustrating as all shit. Oh yeah… I make a halfway decent Girl Friday and can play the "Coffee Bitch", the "Call the Tool Hire Company Bitch", the "Suck Up to the Council Inspector Bitch" and the "Ordering-Pizza-Like Nobody’s-Business Bitch". But that’s about where my contributions end. I’ve rarely felt so absolutely unnecessary and impotent in my entire life.
So for the physically challenged I most certainly do NOT recommend the Owner Builder Experience… but perhaps some variant of the Backyard Blitz Experience where you could go away and let some crazy arsed TV presenter walk around babbling about some over ambitious, semi-covert plan in a rather unwarranted over the top enthusiastic tone, only to be eventually and predictably seen waving his arms around ineffectually in mock distress half way through the show about running out of time before the owner is expected to return by which point all the work will have been done just in the nick of time…. and with a bit of luck… professionally executed without any hint of the almost obligatory outdoor Balinese day bed.
This option would very neatly negate having to watch from the cheap seats while everyone else is getting stuck into working on YOUR house while you sat inside calling concrete suppliers and muttering swear words under your breath about how narrow your damn driveway is.
The sign must comply with the following:
Be made of waterproof materials
Have a surface area of not less than 0.5 of a square metre
Have printed letters not less than 5cm high
Provide details of the owner builder permit number
Be easily legible from the nearest street
.