Maybe I should just stick to the hot wax parties.

I’ve been out to the shops today which usually puts me in a foul mood before I even get there knowing that I’m going to have to stand in queues while my back screams at me, deal with annoying sales people and often not be able to find what I want anyway.  It was one of those necessary trips to pick up a few grocery items, some things for around the house and some business shirts and some headphones for Mr K.   Before we’ve even left the house I know this isn’t going to be fun 🙁  We get some shirts on sale and then wander over to the small appliances area to buy an epilator.

I’ve been looking at them for a little while and being the OCD little consumer that I am – I’ve had a look at all the brands, searched the internets for reviews and talked to some of the people at the specialty stores about them.  I had decided on a Braun Silk-epil Xelle based largely on what the CHOICE website had to say and the first hand info from the ladies at the Shaver Store but it was a little cheaper at Myer so I decided to get it from there.  I’ve wandered up to the shelving where all the models are on display and I pick up the item I wanted at which point a rather brash and outspoken saleslady comes up and says –

Sales Nazi:  Hi can i help you?
Me:  I’m good.  I just want to buy this Braun epilator.
Sales Nazi:  Oh that one is okay but this Emjoy one is much cheaper and just as good.
Me:  Yes I looked at this one but all the reviews I’ve read say this Braun one is much better for fine hair.
Sales Nazi:   Oh no.  This one if great, I’ve used one of these forever. That one is much dearer and they’re all pretty much the same you know.
Me:  That one actually has a metal on metal tweezing action and this one is metal on plastic which is much more effective if you have fine hair.  As I’m not particularly hirsute this one will suit me better according to what I’ve read on the CHOICE website. 
Sales Nazi:  They all pretty much do the same thing.  That one has the silly levers on each side which do nothing and that’s the reason why it is dearer.  It is exactly the same as this one only way more expensive for no real reason.
Me:  Those ‘levers’ are guides that allow the epilator to move over the contours of the skin more readily in the same way that a men’s razor tilts and flexes.  It’s designed to allow the epilator go better over knees etc so you don’t have to go over the same spot again and again.
Sales Nazi:  Nonsense!  They don’t do anything!  (she says with a smile.  no shit.  is the stupid woman listening to herself?  she’s trying to talk me out of a product that is $60 dearer?!?!?)
Me:  Very well then.  If the one I have chosen is no good I will take my purchase elsewhere.
Sales Nazi:  Wait?  What? 
Me:  Well… I have done my research and decided which product is going to best suit my needs and you are standing here literally berating my decision and trying to sell me an inferior product when I’ve already ascertained which one I want.  I did not ask for your help nor did I solicit your opinion.  So seeing that you disapprove of my choice I am going to take my purchase elsewhere.  (Yes I really do talk like this when I’m annoyed.)
Sales Nazi: (having the good grace to turn a charming shade of red)  I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to be inteferring, I was just trying to help.
Me:  I didn’t ask for your help.
Sales Nazi:  Well… ummm…  this one you have chosen is a very good brand too. 
Me:  I know.
Sales Nazi:  If you want this one I can ring that up for you straight away and I’m really sorry if I offended you.
Me:   Well yes.  I do want it.  It’s on  special isn’t it?
Sales Nazi:  No.  (pauses)  Err.. Yes. Yes… let me just check… I think that one is on special.

At which point she rang up my purchase whilst continuing to make further inane apologies as I stared at her in silence.  I know one should be more gracious but I have gotten better at handling my irritation at annoying retail situations – I used to write vitriolic letters to companies informing them about the complete incompetence of their staff and now I just rant on my journal instead.  But… if any of you happen to see Julie at the Small Appliance counter in Myers at Carindale…. feel free to give her a kick in the shins for me.

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