I’ve been looking after a friends two boys for the last couple of days seeing that it’s school holidays and all and their Mum has a couple more weeks of work. For the most part… the Small Child, Ring-in #1 and Ring-in #2 get along okay and I’m reluctant to get involved in petty childish squabbles as I believe they need to learn to work out things for themselves – it’s all part of learning about conflict resolution which is a vital commincation skill. But oh dear God…. other people’s children… where to start?
We’ve had drama over sharing the Game Cube – Ring-in # 1 doesn’t want to take turns and hogs the controller. Strangely I always expected this sort of behaviour would be the evident in the Small Child being an only child and all… but no he shares well with the other kids. We’ve had problems at snack time – Ring-in #2 doesn’t eat fruit and insists on cookies and chips which their mother knowingly provided :|. We’ve had problems riding bikes out in the yard – Ring-in #1 jumped out in front of the Small Child as he was careering down the driveway causing him to swerve and crash straight into a brick wall. We had an incident with the poor Caesar (our 11yr old Australian Terrier) when Ring-in #1 decided it would be fun to man handle the poor dog onto the top bunk in the Small Child’s room from which he subsequently fell. There have been numerous admonishments regarding treatment of the poor aged dog which have been administered with alarming regularity but seem to merely run like water off a ducks back.
But the best fun was to be had over lunch today…
Mom: I’m making ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch boys.
Would you like them toasted or untoasted?
Ring-in #1: I don’t eat ham and cheese sandwiches.
Mom: Oh… what do you eat on your sandwiches?
Ring-in #1: Ummm. Ham. Vegemite. Cheese. Stuff like that.
Mom: Right. So ham and cheese it is.
Ring-in #1: No not together. I’ll have just Vegemite.
Ring-in #2: Can I have just cheese?
Small Child: I want Vegemite too please Mum.
Mom: Okay. So that’s three ham and cheese sandwiches.
Ring-in #1: Ok but I won’t eat it. (No shit he said that)
Ring-in #2: Also, I don’t eat crusts.
Let’s see… I had hardly any sleep last night as I woke up in lots of pain and feeling totally drug fucked around 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep for hours. My new drugs are upsetting my stomach somewhat. My patience for this rubbish is thin at the best of times and today is damn near non-existent. Why is this so bloody difficult?!?! They’re just fucking sandwiches.
Mom: Sigh… Fine one plain Vegemite, one plain cheese and one ham and cheese.
Small Child: I want vegemite too.
Mom: That would be ham and cheese… Yes?
Small Child: Okay Mum.
Three sandwiches laid out with milk and one water later…
Ring-in #2: Mine has crusts on it.
Mom: Crusts are fine just try them (Read: Suck it up princess).
Ring-in #1: How come I’ve got water.
Mom: Because you said you don’t drink milk.
Ring-in #1: But I like chocolate milk.
Mom: Sorry we’re all out of chocolate.
And this BS went on for most of the two days in varying degrees over a diverse range of issues.
I guess my point is this – If you’ve ever watched my Small Child for me…. if he’s ever fussed over his food, or refused to play well with others or caused injury, either physical or emotional, to you or any of your kith or kin… then please accept my heart felt apology. I totally understand that to you he’s an ‘Other People’s Kid’.
.