I’ll beat it out of him.

Small child:  If you’re going to read, so will I Mum.
Mom:  That’s a great idea.

56.2 seconds of silence ensues

Small Child: What page are you up to Mum?
Mom:  Page 139 Sweetie.
Small Child: I’m only up to page 42. 
Mom: It doesn’t matter how many pages you’ve read so long as you’re enjoying it.

38.7 seconds of silence

Small Child: How many pages are in your book Mum?
Mom: Hmm… 336 pages Babe, this is a pretty short book.
Small Child (frowns): Mine has only 89 pages.

23.4 seconds…

Small Child:  What is the biggest book you ever read?
Mom: Hmm… I’m not sure it’s probably one of these on the book case.
(Pulls down the first hefty tome to hand – Tolstoy’s War and Peace)

Small Child: Wow!  Fourteen Hundred and forty five pages! That’s a big book!  Did you read the whole thing?
Mom:  Yes Bub.  But it doesn’t matter how long it is.  It is a wonderful story of Russian princes playing politics and princesses going to balls and falling in love and dashing army officers rushing gallantly off to battle and…
Small Child (clearly disinterested):  Oh okay. 

15.1 …

Small Child: But you know… I think my book is much better!
…he says brandishing ‘Pokemon #21 – The Chikorita Challenge"
.

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