Pain Management Clinic – Day One
Get up stupid early, feeling dopey
No time for heat packs or stretching.
Cabbie to Pain Clinic drives like a maniac.
Have obviously forgotten how bad taxi drivers are.
Arrive on time but get lost in Hospital labyrinth and end up late.
Go through tedious admissions procedure.
Get assessed by Physio team
Describe my 4 MVAs and 16 yrs of chronic pain issues.
Get assessed by clinical/medical team
Describe my 4 MVAs and 16 yrs of chronic pain issues.
Get assessed Psych team.
Describe my 4 MVAs and 16 yrs of chronic pain issues.
Need some heat packs but chug some extra analgesics instead.
Do the horrid introductions of people I don’t care about
“Hi My name is Frank/Doris/Brad and I’m here for (insert generic pain related condition here) and I am hoping the program will help me achieve (insert generic optimistic blather here).”
Blah Blah Blah… nodded off in there somewhere.
Quickly become aware that I’m the veteran in our little group.
Describe my 4 MVAs and 16 yrs of chronic pain issues…. AGAIN!
Am greeted with some ‘Shit maybe I’m not so bad after all’ looks
And a couple ‘Fuck I hope I don’t end up like her’ expressions.
Attend lecture on the physiology of pain.
Discussion on types of pain ensues.
Discover I have some symptoms that I’ve been overlooking.
Heat packs = still zero ; Analgesics = now 6
Individually tailored stretching and exercise regimes given out.
Finish up nearly 30 mins late.
Call taxi to take me home again
Cabbie nearly RUNS UP THE ARSE OF A UTE ON THE EXPRESSWAY!!
No shit. 😐
Borys loses the plot entirely…. tears, babbling, panic and anxiety.
Abuse is hurled at Cabbie until he pulls over.
Borys gets out and tries to compose herself.
Spend remained of journey thinking I may be better off driving myself even though I am experiencing severe traffic phobia and am half stoned on a veritable cocktail of various medications most of the time.
Get home exhausted and anxious
Finally get much needed heat pack at 17:30….
.