Feeling decidedly tired and worn down this evening. I’ve been back to my doctor today and was trying to find out if he had some a drug solution for me that would well… actually reduce pain for one, and not leave me feeling so… special. š And I don’t mean special as in ‘unique and pretty snowflake’ special, but rather special as in ‘you should be wearing a helmet on the bus’ kinda special. š But all he had to offer me that was going to be stronger than what I’m taking is morphine, so you can imagine that I resisted that particular suggestion. Last thing I need is a nice little morphine habit to add to the nonsense. Besides, I hate feeling dopey like I can’t concentrate on anything and my arms and legs feel all heavy and it’s somehow extremely tedious to contemplate doing anything…. and previous experience tells me that morphine is definitely not conducive to feeling alert and in control. š
I’ve been here before… pain levels through the roof, and drugs don’t feel like they make a dent in it. The only thing that seems to soothe it is the heat pack and that’s far too temporary for my liking. While I’ve got the heat on, it feels a bit better – at least on the surface – and for about an hour afterwards, not too bad, just the deep aching which is far more tolerable remains. But after an hour or so, the horrible stinging/burning sensation returns across my shoulders, neck and down towards my middle back š and I’m back where I started from.
