No shit there I was…..

About half way though this, I became convinced that someone was taking the piss out of me… and then it became exceedingly apparent, that my reflections on just how fucking moronic ‘the public’ can be, needed  a total reexamination.  New and improved levels of ‘too fucking stupid to own a computer’ were defined in my brain during the course of this short painful phone call which has been recorded for your reading pleasure… though with the copious amounts of incredulous blinking on my part removed for the sake of brevity’……….

HelpDeskChickie:   Welcome to Goliath, this is borysSNORC… how may I help you?

Customer:  I bought this new computer and it comes with Goliath broadband.
                  I need help setting it up.
HDC:  No problem… what sort of broadband connection is it?
Customer:  I dont know.
HDC:   Is it ADSL, cable or wireless?
Customer:   I dont know
HDC:  That’s okay… what does your modem look like?
Customer:   I dont know.
HDC:   Do you have a little black box, or a small blue one perhaps or maybe a little blue USB device?
Customer:   Ummm… no.
HDC:   You dont have a modem?
Customer:   I dont think so.
HDC:   If it is a broadband internet connection, you will need a modem of some sort…
Customer:    Well which bit is the modem?
HDC:   It’s the actual device that the computer needs to connect to the internet.
Customer:  So I need something else? 
HDC:    Yes.
Customer:    But It’s supposed to be a Goliath internet, so cant you help me set it up…
HDC:     Unfortunately no…  If your computer came with an internet plan, I imagine they should have provided you with a modem.
Customer:    I dont think they gave me anything…..
HDC:   Where did you buy your computer?
Customer:   I bought it from Hardly Normal Electrical.  Oh, it’s a Goliath internet so if you cant fix it, should I call Goliath then?
HDC:   This is Goliath, but In order for us to fix your connection, you need to be able to tell us what sort of connection it is.  Additionally, you will need to have some sort of modem with which to establish the connection.  I’m sorry, but you will have to go back to your vendor and find out what sort of internet connection you have purchased and what sort of modem you should have received.
Customer:   Oh.

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