They always catch me off guard…

I’m never prepared… I should have something rote up my sleeve for whenever friends get engaged, for I invariably get asked to photograph their weddings.  AND I HATE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY WITH A PASSION!!!!  Hate it worse than coffee in fact, and that’s really saying something.  πŸ™

I’ve only done about a dozen weddings, because I normally I do everything I can to avoid doing them…  So why is it that when friends get engaged, they suddenly remember that borysSNORC has a degree in Visual Arts in Photography, and I’m sure she’d love to shoot our wedding rather than attend as a guest?  😐   I’ve been caught off guard a few times, and the approach tends to vary, so I’ve never quite learnt the signs on when the question is coming.  One friend pulled me aside quietly one day, and said…. ‘Can I ask you a favor?’ to which i replied jauntily ‘Sure!’…. stupid move.  Next thing I was cornered into doing a wedding that I didn’t want to do…. and a night one at that…. with no offer of remuneration.  Crap.  😐

So yesterday I get yet another phone call from a newly engaged friend, that starts with ‘Well if you don’t want to do it for us, I understand and  you don’t have to…’  Ah-huh… no guilt there.  And she knows I’ve done two other weddings for mutual friends of ours, so I’m kinda screwed.  And why is it that they never offer right off the bat to pay you to shoot their damn wedding???  Wedding photographers cost a fortune, so they’re calling me cos they want it on the cheap.  But no mention of money seems to come into these conversations, so I KNOW they’re angling for a freebie.  Why would anyone assume that I have some sort of altruistic motive for personally WANTING to do this for them just because we know each other socially!?!?!   Man, have they got me pegged wrong.  😐

Doing a wedding sucks.  The bride is normally ridiculously stressed out about every stupid little detail, then you find yourself having to deal with what their bride and groom’s parents want as well… and then there’s the inevitable drunken giggly bridesmaid who has too much champagne at the hairdressers and can’t stand in a straight line….. and the ridiculous crappy lighting issues in the church….. and the groomsmen who simply can’t keep their fucking hands out of their pockets….. and Aunty Betty who doesn’t want to be in the pictures….. and the snot nosed little brat of a nephew/nieice who wont smile for the camera… and …. and…. and!!!! 

So naturally I love to undertake this sort of angst totally gratis for social acquaintances.. yeh????  Whatever!!!  So now I’m looking at:   Option A – get out of it by leaving the country for the duration….  or Option B – reply saying yes I’ll do it, but only if you meet my ridiculous fee.

Tell me what you think